Ferber and other Let Cry Methods...

BlueRidgeMama · January 2011

Not sure how or if we should stick with it. We did the same sleep training with DD (who was a TERRIBLE sleeper) at 9 months and it took 3 or 4 nights and she was golden, and she is still a great sleeper. I promised myself I wouldn't wait so long to sleep train #2, so we started recently with DS but it is NOT WORKING. I don't understand how it can not work, because I have read Sleep Easy Solution, Dr. Weissbluth, and Dr. Ferber (as in yes, actually read the whole books, have all 3 sitting here) and it seems foolproof! Any advice or shared experience? The kid is never going to go to sleep. And now I can't really nurse him down like I used to either. Not looking for CIO flames, I believe in sleep training. TIA!

wildfloweragain · January 2011

The key is to pick one that you will stick with and be consistent. We did Weissbluth on the 2 older ones. Would do the same with DD if she needed it. Just make sure it's not teething, ear infection, or some other reason first so you don't have to think about those things while she is crying. Remember it only lasts a few days.

tarebear9891 · January 2011

I kind of think different things work for different babies. With my oldest ferber never worked until he was a year old and we rocked him to sleep until then. With #2 I consistently laid him down drowsy but awake and went back in to give him his paci (he never cried). Now all I have to do is lay him down and he goes to sleep.

cutie420311 · January 2011

He might just not be ready yet. P.S. I love the name Louisa. So cute!

BlueRidgeMama · January 2011

Yes, he might not be ready. It's been more than a couple days, let me tell you... and since I've stopped nursing him down, now when I've tried to do that out of desperation, it doesn't work anymore, so I feel a little stranded without any techniques at all. The only way to get him to sleep now is a car ride! I think my problem with him is he was still nursing three times a night, so figuring out how to be consistent about the night weaning has been my downfall.

Weissbluth says just to go in and feed when it is that time, Sleep easy says to dreamfeed and nurse a minute less each night at each feeding (and not to ever feed if LO is crying even if it is time) and Ferber says to wait a designated time between feedings and lengthen it each night. Nursing less at a feeding is IMPOSSIBLE. That technique might work with a bottle, but when milk is still coming out he will scream if I take him off after a set number of minutes.

My pedi said just to quit night feeding cold turkey because the kiddo is not underweight (19 lbs!). This seems like it will be rough.

p.s. Thanks, cutie! I am happy with the name Louisa. We call her Lou a lot too. I had a lot harder time picking a boy name!

Court0026 · January 2011

Love both of your kids' names!

DD was nursing 3 times a night (or more) and we tried CIO right after 5 months out of pure desperation. When it didn't work I was so devastated. And I tried it for WEEKS. With DS it didn't work until 7 months and I was just as desperate (he wouldn't sleep in his crib- only on me). It worked so well for him that I was really discouraged with DD. We started yesterday with naps and she went from napping 30 minutes 2 times a day, to 2 days of 1-2 hours naps and she slept a little better than usual in the night last night (I went in 2 times, but made sure it was HOURS between). Don't give up hope. He might just need another couple of weeks. Good luck!

SaraP611 · January 2011

I know this may be overkill because it is yet another "method", but the book by Giordano, https://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Hours-Sleep-Weeks-Step/dp/0525949593 speaks directly to weaning of off night feedings. It will give you specific directions on how to do this but the book is short overall. We did this with our son at 12 weeks and has been wonderful. He does have his nights when growing and such but he sleeps 11:15+ 90% of the time. Hope this helps.

BlueRidgeMama · January 2011

Court0026:
Love both of your kids' names!
DD was nursing 3 times a night (or more) and we tried CIO right after 5 months out of pure desperation. When it didn't work I was so devastated. And I tried it for WEEKS. With DS it didn't work until 7 months and I was just as desperate (he wouldn't sleep in his crib- only on me). It worked so well for him that I was really discouraged with DD. We started yesterday with naps and she went from napping 30 minutes 2 times a day, to 2 days of 1-2 hours naps and she slept a little better than usual in the night last night (I went in 2 times, but made sure it was HOURS between). Don't give up hope. He might just need another couple of weeks. Good luck!

Wow, this seems pretty much like my story! So it is finally working with your DD? Do you wait until she cries to go in to feed after however many hours have passed, or do you go in at a set time either way?

KKM · January 2011

We did CIO with both boys (Sleep Easy Solution) and had to approach it different with both boys. B did better when we went in for the checks, touched him, and soothed him...not so much for Luke. If I went in and tried to soothe him it prolonged the process. It sounds awful, but just letting him cry and not going in resulted in him crying much less. Maybe you could give that a try?

BlueRidgeMama · January 2011

KKM:
We did CIO with both boys (Sleep Easy Solution) and had to approach it different with both boys. B did better when we went in for the checks, touched him, and soothed him...not so much for Luke. If I went in and tried to soothe him it prolonged the process. It sounds awful, but just letting him cry and not going in resulted in him crying much less. Maybe you could give that a try?

Yes, we have pretty much given up on the checks. But glad to hear I'm not the only one! A few times I thought it helped for DH to go in so he would give up hope of me coming in and nursing, but in general I think it just makes him more upset when we check in.

Court0026 · January 2011

BlueRidgeMama:
Court0026:
Love both of your kids' names!
DD was nursing 3 times a night (or more) and we tried CIO right after 5 months out of pure desperation. When it didn't work I was so devastated. And I tried it for WEEKS. With DS it didn't work until 7 months and I was just as desperate (he wouldn't sleep in his crib- only on me). It worked so well for him that I was really discouraged with DD. We started yesterday with naps and she went from napping 30 minutes 2 times a day, to 2 days of 1-2 hours naps and she slept a little better than usual in the night last night (I went in 2 times, but made sure it was HOURS between). Don't give up hope. He might just need another couple of weeks. Good luck!
Wow, this seems pretty much like my story! So it is finally working with your DD? Do you wait until she cries to go in to feed after however many hours have passed, or do you go in at a set time either way?

I decided to go in if it had been at least 3 or 4 hours. She usually wakes up after about an hour and then 2ish and then 5ish. I want to get her down to 2 feedings and then go down to one if she doesn't do it on her own. In the last week she started waking up every 1-2 hours in the night which is what made me finally try it all again. Last night I put her in at 8, she woke up at 10 (I let her cry which was 20 minutes), back up at midnight (went in) and then again at 4 (went in) and she slept until 8:15. It was huge progress from the previous week, but still not amazing. Hoping for some sleep tonight.

BlueRidgeMama · January 2011

Court0026:
BlueRidgeMama:
Court0026:
Love both of your kids' names!
DD was nursing 3 times a night (or more) and we tried CIO right after 5 months out of pure desperation. When it didn't work I was so devastated. And I tried it for WEEKS. With DS it didn't work until 7 months and I was just as desperate (he wouldn't sleep in his crib- only on me). It worked so well for him that I was really discouraged with DD. We started yesterday with naps and she went from napping 30 minutes 2 times a day, to 2 days of 1-2 hours naps and she slept a little better than usual in the night last night (I went in 2 times, but made sure it was HOURS between). Don't give up hope. He might just need another couple of weeks. Good luck!
Wow, this seems pretty much like my story! So it is finally working with your DD? Do you wait until she cries to go in to feed after however many hours have passed, or do you go in at a set time either way?
I decided to go in if it had been at least 3 or 4 hours. She usually wakes up after about an hour and then 2ish and then 5ish. I want to get her down to 2 feedings and then go down to one if she doesn't do it on her own. In the last week she started waking up every 1-2 hours in the night which is what made me finally try it all again. Last night I put her in at 8, she woke up at 10 (I let her cry which was 20 minutes), back up at midnight (went in) and then again at 4 (went in) and she slept until 8:15. It was huge progress from the previous week, but still not amazing. Hoping for some sleep tonight.

This is all along the same lines of what I've been going through for the last few weeks. I was so exhausted last night that I decided tonight to try again in earnest. I am going to try and be stricter about naps at the same time. It was so much easier with the older one, I think I set myself up for disappointment. With DD I didn't think it was going to work, and it did, and with DS I was sure it would work, and it hasn't. sigh. Good luck to you too! Hope both our LOs get it soon.

mrstarawalsh · January 2011

I did ferber with my son because I was at my witts end. My daughters different from my son so we haven't done it and frankly don't need to. But I firmly believe that if its taking more than a week or so of being consistant they are not developmentally ready yet.

KRISTA555 · January 2011

DS may just need time. We tried sleep training and it just wasn't happening. Gave up for awhile, and now she's sleeping great. She went from needing to be rocked to bed and waking up every 2 hours, to being laid down awake and only waking once in the night.

For us, the change occurred when she started eating 3 meals of baby food a day. We didn't change her bedtime routine at all. Maybe he needs more calories?

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