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2nd Trimester
thediarywithin
member
DH Vent
thediarywithin
member
So my DH decided to get up at 5:30am which is fine. I finally realized he was out of bed at 5:55am to come to see him looking at a ticket. I asked him about it and he said, "Oh I left this in the back of my car and I just remembered it." I asked him how much and when he got it. He got it in November and didn't want to worry me. So of course he forgot to pay it. It's only 30 dollars thankfully. But he wanted to keep it a secret from me is the fact that I am upset. Also the fact that since he was trying to hide it, he forgot about it and now it's due...Today at 1pm. He couldn't find a place online to call or make payments since we live an hour and a half away from where he got it. I found it online and he paid it but he gave them the wrong email to make sure that it was accept. So...my husband might have a warrent for his arrest today for a 30.00 dollar ticket that was in November. Also, we live pay check to pay check and awhile ago we could have afford the 30.00 ticket if I knew about it. Now...we have ten dollars for food till next Thursday. Also his friends are coming this weekend and they eat a ton.
Looks like baby and me won't have food to eat for a couple of days.
Vent over
Mom of 3 (Ginny 4 yrs old), (Miles 2 yrs old), and (Mason due June 15th)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: DH Vent
The biggest issue here isn't the ticket.
The issue is that you have ten dollars until next week and can't afford to eat but can feed DH's friends?
Yikes.
DS 6.12.11
Hypermenorrhea, Anovulatory & Hypothyroid
TTC#2
My Lack of Ovulation Chart
One of his friends normally brings his own food. He understands what we go through so he's not the one I am too worried about. It's the other friend that freaks me out and I rather not be alone with that I am worried about. He is always hungry. I am thinking of sending them a quick reminder on facebook that we don't have a lot of food other then tons of romen and if they want something different they should bring their own.
yeah, your hubs shouldn't have lied to you about the ticket. I'd be upset too.
But the big issue here is you need to eat. and you need to eat healthy. You are growing a baby.
Fvck your friends. don't let them come or demand that they buy their own food. If they are such arseholes that they don't see that your food needs are greater than theirs than they really aren't your friends.
Agreed, you need to focus on the real issue. If your DH isn't responsible enough to cancel a boys weekend for you and the baby to eat now, when do you think he will grow up? When the baby is born? You need to sit DH down and talk about priorities.
He won't cancell the boys weekend since it's once in a lifetime chance that they come down. But I might ask him if he would be willing to ask his friends if they can bring some of their own food for while they are here.
My DH is a good guy and usually pretty good about money issues. Sometimes he does have issues with over spending but we talk it out and have a minor fight over it. But once he realizes that I was right he usually says sorry. We won't have the issue come the sixth because my extra school money will be in so we won't be struggling. We are actually starting a savings account with half of it in case things like the ticket come into play.
I am just really upset that I wasn't told about the ticket. Because it would have already been paid for and put in our budget. The guys are good guys and I am sure if I ask them nicely to bring food they will, at least one will. He's done so in the past, he brought everything he was going to eat while at our place. The other not so sure, but my DH can talk to him about it.
I think I just need to sit my DH down and see if there is anyway we can ask them to bring food to help us out so we can eat for the rest of the week.
this whole post is alarming.
If you're in this financial situation (living paycheck to paycheck and unable to afford a $30 dollar ticket) you AND your husband need to worry less about entertaining friend on the weekend and think about part time jobs to save some dough before LO is born.
sorry, missed the part about savings coming in on the 6th.
Your husband still needs to consider cancelling this visit. he got himself into this situation, he can suck it up and get you out.
Mmmm...cake!
I'm not trying to throw salt in the wound, but it is scary to me that you're so tight on finances that you don't have $30 to pay a ticket and only have $10 for food. Do you have a credit card? I'm not one for buying things you can't afford, but you need to eat more than ramen noodles!
How good could your DH be with money if he lets your bank account get down to $10?
This! No offense but if it's DH's friends, I would tell my DH that if he wants to pay to feed them than he can find the money, cuz that 10 bucks is going towards me and his child!
I couldn't imagine being invited to someone's house and them telling me, "Make sure you bring enough food to feed yourself!" I really think you need to cancel.
How are you going to afford this baby? I think one or both of you needs to get another job.
He is the only one that works, I have been looking for a job here. But we live in a small town with no other big towns around us. It took him months to get a job. I got to college full time. We are always tight near the end of a semister because of the fact that my school money on loans and grants help pay for food, bills, and our small apartment. But we are tighter then usual because our only car died on the highway because it threw a rod through the engine block this semister. So we had to pay for another car. Thankfully, it's paid off and we got a really cheap deal on the car we have now. Then, our lease ended early at our old apartment this semister as well and the landlady and us had issues. She took a month to fix a fridge that wasn't working at all. So we got a new place with the help of my mom which we already paid her off when we could. So that was more expenses that we didn't expect. My husband works at Walmart full time with small wage. We would have problem with food if he didn't get food stamps. I don't qualify because I am a student.
No, we don't have credit cards. The only debt we have is my loans for school which I don't have to start paying until I am done with school. Which we are really greatful for not having any debt. We can usually make it fine it's just things have gotten tight this month because of holidays and emergencys that needed to be taken care of. Once I get my school money things will be fine which is on Thursday of next week. We just have to get there. We have a budget already set for when my money comes in and with the paychecks. So this won't be a problem next year as we will have a good savings for emergencys.
I'll talk to him tonight and see what his plans are to feed his friends and us. I am sure he has an idea what will be going on. He's pretty good about changing his plans but making new plans.
Happy new year to you too.
Are you sure you guys don't qualify for Food Stamps? If not food stamps, you qualify for WIC and can get some help nutritionally. Since you're pregnant, you should qualify as a family of 3. Here are the income guidelines.
https://www.kansaswic.org/manual/CRT_06_01_00_Income_Eligibility_Chart.pdf
My DH qualifies for food stamps. I do not because I don't work 20 hrs a week at least. That's what they said when we talked to them. I do have WIC we got that soon after I got pregnant. We have one more check left for WIC which will give me all my veggies and fruits but that won't fill me. But it will give me what I need when I eat my romen. Our next checks come in after the six as well. Also food stamps don't come in till the sixth.
I am getting a lot from school stuff. I get close to 5,000 dollars extra after my schooling and books are paid for. So that I am not too worry about. We have budget baby stuff as well. My sisters helped me with that as they both have kids. Plus, my sisters and mom are buying us the bedding and the crib. Then all the other big stuff one of my sisters is giving us. She's done with having kids and my niece will be a year old so that will help. But everything else is budgeted in.
I hope everything works out for you.
However, I'll just say that if it came down to a choice between feeding his pregnant wife and entertaining some friends for a weekend -- even if it was a "once-in-a-lifetime chance" -- my husband would put that $10 toward food. For me.
And I would not have to ask him to do that.
Not even the biggest issue...DH's friends can bring their own damn food...but what happens when baby arrives??
This! Ramen has little to no value. You can get canned or frozen veg, canned potato even. You can buy whole grain pasta and get more servings from it then the ramen which is nothing but sodium. If you mix beans or lentils with a whole grain like brown rice it's considered a "super food" high in fiber, protein and vitamins. Beans both dry and canned are cheap.
His friends are bringing their own food for the weekend. They are really nice about it and one of them offered to bring some extra for me and everyone else.
I won't have medical bills at all because insurence covers 100% of the cost that comes with being pregnant. So that won't be an issue in May.
medical bills from pregnancy might not be an issue come May, but what about all the baby & life expenses after that??
I'm sorry to sound frank, but did you guys PLAN for this baby? or did it just happen?
and if you guys planned for it, did you take your financial situation into account??
I could imagine living paycheck to paycheck if it were just me & my hubby, but having a baby on the way, those are MAJOR added expenses and some that you cannot even begin to prepare for. Having a baby when not financially secure or prepared is just selfish.