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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
mrsfaz2be
member
Advice for first time moms....
mrsfaz2be
member
Hello! I am coming over from third tri....I am looking for some advice/words of wisdom from you guys since I am a first time mom. Anything you all wish you did before baby was born (have this cleaned, ready, bought this item, etc?) Anything in particular you would recommend for when taking baby home or something you wish you knew? thanks....I am starting to get anxious since this is my first and do not know what to fully expect.
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Re: Advice for first time moms....
I second this. Be flexible. The baby runs your life now, not you! Roll with the punches and try to laugh and see the humour in things that are beyond your control.
I agree with PP. The first few weeks were just whatever worked. LO slept wherever, whenever. Just know that you will be on babies schedule not yours for a little while.
Enjoy your time with LO, if that means the house is dusty, Oh well. They're only babies once.
Babies require suprisingly little during the first few weeks and months even. The basics are all that are really needed.
You will be fine, listen to your intuition. You will learn what your baby needs, but you may stumble. Don't get discouraged!
I wish someone had told me how hard feeding my baby would be. You think you are going to be OK once you figure out how to BF or get them to take a bottle but so many issues and questions come up along the way after you get them home. It was and still is frustrating trying to decode the problems.
I also wish I knew how much hearing him cry would unnerve me. I really had no idea how upsetting it would be when he is upset.
Also, seriously limit your visitors in the beginning. I regret not doing that and stretching myself too thin. I allowed DH to tell everyone friend and family member to "just stop by".
I agree with all PPs. Having a plan is great, but I realized pretty quickly after DD was born that the new plan was just to survive, lol. To that end we wound up co-sleeping, babywearing and I started pumping breastmilk almost immediately, none of which was in my plan. Your LO will lead you in the direction you need to go.
Also, make sure you have someone who can watch LO, even just for an hour so you can get out. Sometimes when DH gets home from work, I go to Starbucks, the mall or I just go to Target and wander around, just to get out, LOL. It's amazing what something so little can do to improve your sanity.
GL!
"This ribbon has been reported." - lovesnina
Have a ton of granola bars and lanolin.
Also even if you think you wont use a paci have some.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Leave LO with SO for some amount of time each day, it will allow him to bond w/ lo and give you some much needed time away from lo. Don't comment on the way he handle lo unless it is positive.
I wish I hadn't slept so much during my last tri. It took me a while to adjust from getting 10hrs of sleep to 4-6.
We have a bassinet, pnp, and a crib but ds sleeps with us.
I second all of the above,
Also, let your mother/MIL or whoever come and help. I DID NOT want my mom to come but I ended up needing her there. I really don't know how I would have made it through the first 2 weeks w/o her, and we really bonded during that time.
TTC #2 since 8/2012
Me:28 H:34
Me: all tests normal!
H: Azoospermia (Sperm count zero).
MFI Urologist all test normal.
Biopsy Feb. 14
****EVERYONE WELCOME****
Sorry! I was trying to post from my Iphone..... But I totally agree with this post!!!! EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!
1 more thing.... don't be scared or ashamed to ler your baby go to the nursery. Get your rest while u can.....I was EXHAUSTED!! Congrats & good luck!
1) Your #1 goal is to keep LO healthy & safe each day.
2) Baby blues/PPD sucks. BB hit me very hard right before 2wks. I didn't eat/drink one day as I was busy with the baby & entertaining visitors. It decreased my milk supply & I felt very depressed, crying, no hope.
3) BF can be very hard! LO still has a bad latch but he's gaining weight. Read up, take classes & ask for help!
4) Plan for what you want, but sometimes you do what works. We didn't want to co-sleep, but he wouldn't stop crying one night. So I grabbed a long metal, mesh bin that holds our dog's toys, folded up some blankets, and put him on top of the covers between us. Yes, baby slept in a box!
5) We cloth diaper but just started yesterday. We tried it earlier & miserably failed. That to say, some of your plans/expectations may fail early but work out later.
6) Take it one day at a time! It does get better, but the first few weeks can be hell. Today was our first good day in 3wks.
7) The first month+ is really boring. He sleeps 2-3 hours, feeds 15-60min, awake 5-30min then repeat. No interaction, no smiling, occasional glances. I had to get out just for some mental stimulation. Also, the first few days were so easy. He slept/ate on a great schedule and we had help at the hospital. It was frightening to go home and him suddenly be constantly crying for the first time.
I 100% agree with the comment about visitors!! I let my in-laws who were in from out of town convince me that staying with us when we got home from the hospital was a good idea!! (6 people plus DH and DS in our 3 bedroom house) it was not...DS was so over stimulated...plus I feel like we really missed out on some bonding time because he was constantly being passed around between everyone else...then we had all the extra people just stopping by to visit.
Everything else pretty much falls into place. I tried so hard to plan for everything that might come up after we got him home...but it was kind of pointless...as long as you have clothes for him to wear, blankets, food, bottles, diapers and wipes you will be fine.
Good Luck
Visitors: we limited them and it has been great. No more than 2 people at a time, a couple of times a day max, and it's been perfect, not overwhelming for the two of us and some nice interaction for everyone.
Definitely take any stool softeners offered - I had a c-section and it took 8 days for me to be able to "go". It was a nightmare. Percoset stops you up something fierce!
We love the Summer brand pre-formed swaddling blankets. LO Houdini'd out of anything else we tried. We do the 5 S's from Happiest Baby On The Block and they work, every time, within a couple of minutes. (After feeding/diapering)
Trust your instincts - you can't spoil a newborn no matter what the nurses at the hospital say about LO sleeping on you instead of the bassinet
See you here soon!
I tried to keep the kitchen stocked with food as much as I could, but it wasn't easy. Instead, I made a shopping list that included easy to eat foods and sent my mom out to get the items the day I came home from the hospital. I had her peel oranges, cut up apples, and make sandwiches for me that I could grab easily throughout the day. This was AWESOME!
If I could do the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy over again, I would cuddle with my husband every night
If I had the luxury of knowing when my baby was coming, I would have had a pedicure, colored my hair and had a fresh haircut.
I spent some time with my sisters the last week, just the 3 of us. You're just a different person once you have kids and it was our last opportunity to al be together before that happened.
I would have cleaned the house thoroughly before I left the house (or stayed up on the housework better). I'm not one that can relax in a dirty house no matter how exhausted I am.
I wish someone would have told me that I would lose all ability to hold my bladder after I had the baby. It's been 12 weeks and it's still difficult! Oh, and I also had no ability to hold my gas in either. That was a treat after I got home. Farts just fell out whenever they wanted to. Nice, huh? Lol
I expected labor to be long and painful. I got exactly just that. I'm not saying it sucked. I think it would have sucked if I didn't expect it to be what it was. I got through it though and so will you! Did that make sense?
OH! I did NOT want photos or video taken until he came out. Both my sisters thought otherwise and I'm SO glad they did. I have the most awesome DVD of the greatest moments of my life. I also have awesome photos of the delivery itself. The thought freaked me out at first, but I love having the pics.
Have comfy clothes, if you're nursing have tops that are easy access. I find v-neck t-shirts nice since I just pull them down. A boppy or some other positioner is a lifesaver...maybe not at first but it will help, believe me.
I guess the best piece of advice I can give is that your baby will change very quickly. You may go through a few days of nursing nonstop, then you'll have a few days when your LO seems to sleep all the time. Some tactics like swaddling may not work at first, but don't give up because a couple weeks down the road if you give it a try again it will. It's almost like you'll have a new baby each week. Oh, and if someone says they'll watch your LO while you nap, take them up on it. You'll miss sleep the most. Good luck and congrats!
i don't have too much advice yet since my little guy is only a week old, but i just wanted to say that i just cried my way through this entire post because this is all really, really god advice and i wish i had known how valid all of it would be. sometimes you think you're the only one going through something and then you come on here to find that EVERYbody else is struggling witht he same things and it really helps you to not feel like such a failure.
the only thing i can say is take in every single second you can of you LOs first few days. it is unbelievable how much they change, even just in the first week and there is NOTHING in the world like the love you feel in the first couple of days just looking down at them when they sleep in your arms. do whatever you can to savor those moments completely and with your whole heart. as difficult as this has been so far, those first few days have been the best moments of my entire life by far.
I agree with a lot of what people said except for the needs and "must haves." DO NOT buy a lot of clothes. If you can borrow them DO. You will receive tons as gifts and your baby will never get around to wearing them. I had a smaller than average baby and he is 10 weeks now and never once wore a onesie. I too thought I would be picky about what he wore but I wasn't. They're wrapped up in a blanket or something all the time so who cares?!
Also, about the pooping after delivery, get the enema! In some hospitals it is optional but get it. It makes all the difference.
Great advice so far!! I didnt read through everything since I'm in a rush so sorry if these are repeats:
1. Never say never. I vowed to never have ds sleep in our bed-guess where he is every night?
2. Try to not commennt on how DH handles the baby. He probably doesnt have as much experience as you. Help him, but dont be negative with him.
3. If people are over too much or being too involved, dont let it continue. Nip that shiz in the bud!!! It will only continue and get worse.
4. The first few weeks of up every 2 hours at night, or maybe even barely sleeping at night, really wear you down. Just remember that your child will not be up every 2 hours when he's in middle school. Everything is only temporary, and so worth it!
5, Don't be too hard on yourself-you are figuring things out just like LO is. It's all new for both of you. Also don't take things personally-my DS was crying when I held him and i gave him to DH and he calmed right down. It was hard to not think that he must hate me.
Good luck-you will do great!
Skip the jammies with the snaps and go for ones with zippers. At 3am in the dark when you're exhausted, the last thing you'll want to do after changing a dirty diaper is mess around with those dumb snaps!
And get yourself out of the house. It's depressing and lonely to sit at home day in and day out. Pack LO up and take a walk, or go to the grocery store or to visit a friend, ANYTHING! Talk to people, find a new mom support group ... This will help so much with baby blues/PPD. No one talks about how difficult, emotionally, the first few months are, so make sure you have a support system!
My mom stayed with my during my first week home and the second night she ran me a bath and folded up a towel and put it down in the water for me to sit on and it was heavenly!
The towel felt good under my sore bottom, and just sitting in the warm water was great and relaxing. I got to shut my eyes for a few minutes and when I got out I was completely refreshed. I tried to do it every other night! I think that the soaking may have helped me heal faster because I was feeling pretty good quickly after delivery!
GL with everything! Trust your body, it will tell you what you need and sometimes just take care of things for ya!
I was very anxious about everything and wish I had spent less time worrying about all the things and more time just enjoying the miracle!