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Blended Families
RenandStimpy
member
Good News!
RenandStimpy
member
We got the apartment we have been trying to get.
I have to say I went through hell and high water, I dont know how many corrections we did on our application. (I didnt have income the first time and of course we didnt make enough solo). But through it all, we have been tough.
Its not like the ONLY place we could have lived in, but there are NOT many 4 bedroom apartments here, and finding one under a grand a month is a real big deal.
Its HUGE, its beautiful, I HAVE A DISHWASHER!!! Lol. I know Im freaking out, I have to burst somewhere! FInally I do it here, with GOOD news lol.
All the kids will have their own rooms upstairs, ours is downstairs...I like this alot.
SO wish us luck we are moving first week of Nov.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Good News!
What happened to your BF finding his own place?
The three month old has his own room upstairs?
And the BF is moving in?
The room is big enough for my bed up there, we are getting a bigger bed for the master suite. He sleeps from 8 pm to 1 am and then feeds then sleeps til 6 am. Which is when I have to go to work. So its not that bad. I slept the same way when my daughter was born ...because every man Ive ever been with snores...REALLY loud. lol. I talk in my sleep too. Its weird. But I bought a monitor that alarms if my daughter stopped breathing... she had asthma since 6 mos.
Everything is going to be fine. Ive had 3 kids. I know what to expect from their sleeping , especially since Julian breastfed so long, his health is even better. He has no asthma, and they are replacing the carpet just to make sure that nothing will aggrivate my kids.
Ren i'm sorry to say but this is terrible news. Another man sleeping in mommy's room.
SO and I were together 1.5 year before we moved in together and I was so nervous about telling SS we would share a room. We never did infront of him before that. And you know what - he had a hard time figuring out why we would. I was glad he didn't have a clue why we wanted to because kids don't need to be exposed to those kinds of things. BM has never had a bf (period) stay over.
We have our wedding date, we live together, we have a mortgage and are building a house together and i still sometimes get nervous about how close i am to SS just in case it doesn't work out.
I do not understand how it is possible to be so caught up with your ex and have so much anger and resentment towards him and yet be so in love all at the same time. In my opinion that is not possible. If you were so in love with new bf you wouldn't give a sh!t what ex does or why. I'm not saying your still in love with ex just that you did not give yourself time to get over all the hurt and anger and move on with yourself never mind anyone else.
SO and I have been best friends since we were kids. We grew up beside each other. When we were teens we made a pack to get married. He is my best friend and I am totally and utterly in love with him and vice versa. It was a huge decision for us to take our friendship to dating. There are no ex's in our life at all as SO never actually dated BM and we have no kids living with us full time. But you know what - our relationship is hard work sometimes. I am so glad we have this time to 'get to know each other' before we have kids.
I wish you well Ren but this is a big mistake.
In all seriousness, I can't imagine being a nursing mother, going through a divorce and MOVING in with someone new with a 3 month old baby and two older children. It's mind boggling.
When I had DS I was in the process of getting divorced...my son was my LIFE. I had zero interest in dating or meeting anyone new. Nursing took up most of my time and I was so in love with my child that there was honestly NO ROOM in my heart for anyone else. I didn't even start dating my DH til my son was 1 and even then hardly ever left him. We had lots of in-home dates. And...if I hadn't met him...I'd still be single. I don't think moms have the right to just willy nilly move men in with their children when one has already supposedly been abused.
Really....poor choices for a single parent. I hope it doesn't come back to bite you.
:tries desperately to remind myself that I promised to keep my mouth shut:
God I need a muzzle or a keyboard lock or something. ARGH!!!
Click me, click me!
wow, I hope you've had A LOT of counseling. When you come from one abusive relationship, people tend to fall back into the same thing. No matter how nice the guy seems now. You are moving way too fast, not good at all for your kids, any of them.
Does it count if I kept it contained here but ran my mouth like a muthafuuker on TIP?
Probably not.
I don't want to flame you. Not really.
I just want to hit you with a bus.
You seriously have not an ounce of common sense.
You are passive aggressive as hell.
And you have a martyr complex.
Does KY have that safe haven law for older kids that Nebraska I think does?
Click me, click me!
I am very happy for you. BUT .........
I have to say that I whole heartedly agree with everything GSDLOVER has said. Every single word.
This must say a lot about how fast you're moving. You're traveling at light speed. Good Luck - you're going to need it.
I also had my say over on TIP.
Ren can you not see what a goddam train wreck your life is. You make the stupidest most reckless decisions with no regard for anyone but yourself. I really feel bad for your kids. Please do not get pg with this new guy.
But the saddest part is you just don't see it - you really think you are a martyr. Your not.
Now, you know how much I hate to agree with GSD, because gawd she's generally batty, but oh geez please.
You come on here saying how much you've learned and how you've seen the light and blah blah blah. And what do you do next? GO BACK TO THE SAME LACK OF COMMON SENSE YOU SO BEAUTIFULLY DEMONSTRATED BEFORE.
You have no business living with this man until you are in a position to be married to him. Your kids are begging for some stability for five minutes in their young little lives, and what do you do? Throw another man in the mix right off the bat. You are dumber than you look good gracious.
Here's a thought: Get a smaller place that you can afford ALL BY YOURSELF. Learn what it feels like to not rely on a man for your own survival. Teach your daughter that such a thing is possible. Finish your education, your counseling, and get some money saved and THEN work on your lovelife.
I see you back on this board in a year talking about how bad things with new guy are. Just calling it now.
Do you just make stuff up as you go along? Seriously, girl - get your freaking life together before you expose your kids to more heartache. They need to be your priority - not the newest man to be in your bed.
And, before you say that you are moving into this new place because it's best for your kids, in reality, it is what you see as best for you. You can't stand to be alone, so you shack up ONCE AGAIN....dragging your kids along for the ride. This is not a stable environment for them.
I have been really hoping you would wake up and realize you are continuing to hurt your children by living this life. One minute you are fire-and-damnation angry at your ex, then the next minute you are talking about your new home with your newest boyfriend. Get a grip on all the emotions you are throwing around - your kids are the ones who will pay dearly for all your mistakes.
I have to say that I very much agree with the PPs! It sounds like you really need to get yourself together, without the assistance of a man and for the sake of your children!
Your children are what is most important. I think I read on another post that one of your children experienced abuse at the hands of your ex... moving another man into the new place with your children is not the answer.
I suggest
1. get counseling for yourself so that you can be the best to yourself and your children
2. Get counseling for your children especially the one that was abused
3. Provide them with stability and keep them safe.
It sounds like you go from guy to guy because you don't want to be alone and that is not good. You really need to work on yourself.