Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

How many will be/are Trying again?

I had a very scary experience during my miscarriage. Right after, I thought I would not be trying to get pregnant again. But now I told my husband I def feel like I want to try again. He told me he would not force me to do anything. (I think the experience scared him a lot.) We really wanted this pregnancy, I want to be sure we are not rushing into trying again out of grief.

I am just curious how many of you are going to begin trying right away. How many are going to wait a while? And if there is anyone who is not? 

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Re: How many will be/are Trying again?

  • I would love to try again when given the green light to do so. ( I haven't had my follow up appointment from my D&C, so I'm waiting to see what my doctor says.) DH on the other hand doesn't want to right away. He experienced a loss of his nephew when he was younger and it hurt him deeply since he felt responsible. So it took a lot of trying to get him comfortable to try in the first place, then about 5 weeks to get him to get comfortable with me actually being pregnant. This loss has really set him back and the last thing I want to do is rush into this if he isn't ready.

  • Well start 'trying' again as soon as were given the go ahead. By trying I mean not avoiding it. I'm not ready to pull out a chart and thermometer but if we find ourselves pregnant again right away we would call ourselves blessed. I haven't had my follow up appt either yet but it's on Wednesday so I plan on finding out how soon we can start then. Our two year anniversary is on January 10th and I would love if we could just enjoy our day with no worries:). I think you just have to do what you feel is comfortable. Some people feel they can heal more fully if they give themselves more time. Some feel better trying again right away. I hope you find what you need and that you and your DH can be on the same page.
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  • Just waiting on that first AF.  We got the go ahead to start after one cycle, and we're definitely planning to do so.
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  • Not I, not for quite a long time.
  • We will definitely be trying again.  However, we received different answers regarding how long we should wait.  One doctor said wait at least one cycle and the other said two cycles.  So, we'll either start trying again this month or next month.  
  • We are trying as soon as I get the green light from my ob on Jan. 4th. He said during the m/c that pending any infections or problems there should be no reason we can't start trying right away. He gave me hope that he sees many couples conceive the first cylce after a natural m/c. So I've started temping and I'm back to my fertility monitor.
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  • imageerikaja6:
    We will definitely be trying again.  However, we received different answers regarding how long we should wait.  One doctor said wait at least one cycle and the other said two cycles.  So, we'll either start trying again this month or next month.  

    Did anyone's doctor actually give a reason why waiting more than one cycle is necessary? Ours said to wait two normal cycles but I stupidly didn't ask for an explanation and now I want to know if just one would be okay.

    Not saying I'll be ready after one cycle- this second loss has been so difficult and scary. I honestly can't imagine going through this a third time and not going crazy. It really sucks but in the end, I want more children so badly. I don't know when we'll try, I am not ready yet emotionally, that's for sure.

    Maybe in the spring...

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  • We are trying again- but it's a really emotional place for me. I'm doing better than I was, but I'm still grieving. DH has told me he's ready whenever I'm ready. We are actively TTC but I'm very afraid. Our pregnancy was picture perfect and healthy when we lost our LO. I did everything by the book. So as much as we want a sticky baby in 2011, I am scared that I'll be back here again.
    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
    Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
    Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
    Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
    Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
    Not ready to give up yet.
    Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
    Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
    Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
     
    Please, please, please. 
  • We are planning on doing another round of IVF as soon as we possibly can.
  • imageManderlin923:

    imageerikaja6:
    We will definitely be trying again.  However, we received different answers regarding how long we should wait.  One doctor said wait at least one cycle and the other said two cycles.  So, we'll either start trying again this month or next month.  

    Did anyone's doctor actually give a reason why waiting more than one cycle is necessary? Ours said to wait two normal cycles but I stupidly didn't ask for an explanation and now I want to know if just one would be okay.

    Not saying I'll be ready after one cycle- this second loss has been so difficult and scary. I honestly can't imagine going through this a third time and not going crazy. It really sucks but in the end, I want more children so badly. I don't know when we'll try, I am not ready yet emotionally, that's for sure.

    Maybe in the spring...

    (DS ticker below!)

     The doctor who said I should wait two cycles mentioned two things: 1) I needed time for my body to repair itself/rebuild my uterine lining and 2) Women have a higher chance of having a miscarriage if they conceive right after having a miscarriage.  The thing that's so confusing is I know other women on this board have been told this is not true. 

    I am really eager to start trying again, but I also don't want to do anything to jeopardize having a healthy pregnancy.  

     

  • I miscarried naturally in the middle of November and my hubby and I plan on trying as soon as I see my OB on January 4. (Don't get me started on how long it's taken him to do my post-miscarriage follow up.)

    I've struggled with the same questions your husband has: are we rushing into this to fill the void that was left by the loss of our babies and are we emotionally ready?

    I kind of look at this the same way we did when we decided to stop trying to prevent getting pregnant . . . if we wait for the perfect moment (or in this case, until we're done grieving), that time may never come up.

    I'm certainly not trying to replace my LOs ('cause God knows that if I could have them back, I would take 'em), but I didn't realize how much I wanted to be a mum until I found out I was pregnant. 

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  • We will probably try again after my first cycle.  That is what the doctor told us to do.  I have no idea how long that will take though.  It took three months and a month of birth control pills to get AF started again after Ella was born.  My doctor said he didn't think it should take so long this time.  Emotionally, I know I will be greiving my babies I lost forever- so I know waiting 3 months wouldn't make any difference for me emotionally.  And I just turned 32, so I don't feel like time is on my side.
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  • We plan to try again after 2 cycles per our OB's recommendation.  I think the 2 cycles is more for emotional healing than physical.  I hope AF begins normally and we start trying in possibly March.

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  • Well, we will be, and hopefully soon! But I am afraid I may have made DH confused. I told him I did want to try again...then a few days later I got very scared about not wanting another loss, so I told him I wanted to wait. After talking with family and doing some deep thinking and soul searching, I realized if I always let this fear overpower me I may never get pregnant again. So even though I am still scared I do know that I want to try again....I just don't know how to tell him without making him think I am going to back out again! Ok Im done...sorry for the ramble!! :)

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  • I go to my OB on Monday for a follow up. He is a great doctor and understood when we came to him after 10 cycles of BFN that we wanted to start a family. He wasn't handing me medications ore anything, but got me started on testing to make sure everything was good. I got my BFP on my 11th cycle.

    I am with everyone on not knowing how long I should take to grieve and be emotionally ready. I am curious to know what my OB may think. In the ER last night, I heard the lullaby song play three times!! It didn't make me sad, but excited for the women who just had their babies. As we were walking out, a pregnant woman and her husband were checking in. She looked uncomforatable but excited. My husband looked at me cautiously but I was smiling. Who knows, maybe she had the first baby of 2011. I just hope that I get mine in 2011 too.

  • Since this is my second time, I'm a lot less eager to try again than I was with the first. To be honest at this point I'm ready to move on and focus on something else. I feel like the last six months of my life has been spent in a desperate race to get and stay pregnant. I had an appointment on Thursday where a faint heartbeat was detected so I still can't even break free from this one. I'm having testing done for clotting disorders, etc. once this is all said and done, but unless I get some sort of guarantee I think we're going to adopt. 
  • imageangelabrown810:
    Since this is my second time, I'm a lot less eager to try again than I was with the first. To be honest at this point I'm ready to move on and focus on something else. I feel like the last six months of my life has been spent in a desperate race to get and stay pregnant. I had an appointment on Thursday where a faint heartbeat was detected so I still can't even break free from this one. I'm having testing done for clotting disorders, etc. once this is all said and done, but unless I get some sort of guarantee I think we're going to adopt. 

    My husband and I plan to adopt as well. We had also planned on having a child as well. I know a ton of famalies who have adopted and oh my goodness are these famalies ever full of love!! Good luck to you! Have you looked at adoption agencies or know anyone who can reccomend one? I saw the sweetest story of a safe surrender baby whose adoptive parents found out about him literally hours before. They were in court all morning. ( I work in a NICU and was taking care of their sweet angel). The proceedings were finished and they came to meet thier son for the first time. It was nothing short of AMAZING! I felt so privileged to be there. We got pictures of them touching him for the first time and holding him and made them an album. I cry just thinking about it.

    Theres nothing to say that you can not pursue adoption as well as continue testing for yourself. My aunt had adopted a 3 month old and then found out she was pregnant. They are the cutest family and as much work as it sounds, it really works for them.

    Good luck to you!! Heres to your family in 2011!!!

  • We are going to start trying as soon as we get the green light from dr. which I am assuming will be March or April (if everything comes back normal from pathologist reports).  I think we will start trying without charting and temping for a month or two and if nothing happens then I will chart.  From charting before I have leraned so much from my body so I know what to look for and about when I ovulate but because we were trying to hard to get pregnant it wasn't fun and spontaneous either and I don't want that to happen this time.  I just hope my body goes back to normal cycles like it was before.  GL everyone!

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  • imagenpilcher506:

    imageangelabrown810:
    Since this is my second time, I'm a lot less eager to try again than I was with the first. To be honest at this point I'm ready to move on and focus on something else. I feel like the last six months of my life has been spent in a desperate race to get and stay pregnant. I had an appointment on Thursday where a faint heartbeat was detected so I still can't even break free from this one. I'm having testing done for clotting disorders, etc. once this is all said and done, but unless I get some sort of guarantee I think we're going to adopt. 

    My husband and I plan to adopt as well. We had also planned on having a child as well. I know a ton of famalies who have adopted and oh my goodness are these famalies ever full of love!! Good luck to you! Have you looked at adoption agencies or know anyone who can reccomend one? I saw the sweetest story of a safe surrender baby whose adoptive parents found out about him literally hours before. They were in court all morning. ( I work in a NICU and was taking care of their sweet angel). The proceedings were finished and they came to meet thier son for the first time. It was nothing short of AMAZING! I felt so privileged to be there. We got pictures of them touching him for the first time and holding him and made them an album. I cry just thinking about it.

    Theres nothing to say that you can not pursue adoption as well as continue testing for yourself. My aunt had adopted a 3 month old and then found out she was pregnant. They are the cutest family and as much work as it sounds, it really works for them.

    Good luck to you!! Heres to your family in 2011!!!

     

    Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement! We had actually always planned to adopt at least one child but wanted to have one of our own first. Since that isn't working out so well for us, we've agreed to start pursuing other options. I've already started researching adoption and agencies in our area and am really excited about the possibilities. Your story warmed my heart and gave me much needed encouragement! 

  • I had some complications and I think my body is finally straightened out, so we will be trying again starting this month.  I thought waiting two cycles would totally suck, but my body has had a mind of its own and I didn't have a choice.  Glad it's January now though and we can get after it! :)
    BFP#1 8/7/10, m/c discovered at 14w5d, baby measured 14w2d, Induced and delivered baby girl 10/19/10 (Downs), BFP#2 4/29/11, confirmed missed m/c 6/8/11 BFP#3 8/18/11, EDD 4/28/2012, induced 5/3/12

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  • We will start trying again in the next couple of months.  I'm still waiting to officially finish this MC and then for AF.  My guess is we'll probably really start trying in March/April.

     

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  • As soon as we can, we will do a frozen embryo cycle with the embryo that is left from my last cycle. 
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  • We're trying again. We did after first AF after both my miscarriages.
  • My DH surprised me, and wants to try again as soon as we can, and he has been saying that since we got the green light and the chromosomal results came back as normal.  I know that I want to try again--I've always wanted three children (now i have 2 dd's, an angel watching over us, and hopefully our take home baby).  we reached all the important milestones up until that fateful appointment.  so i'm so scared to try again, and i know i have so many anger issues i'm afraid will carry into another pregnancy (our counselor also suggested i wait until the anger does calm down b/c the horomones in pregnancy only make it worse).  my af is due tues or wednesday (4 weeks from the shedding of the uterus after the d & e, according to my dr).  i am temping b/c the dr told me i would ovulate, and at least i could predict my af a bit more precisely from that.  but i'm honestly not into charting yet.  i don't know--plus i'm a teacher and as much as i don't care, i would like not to have to have a baby in sept (and honestly, if i do, guess what, i would be thrilled...just worried financially!  we really are trying the mindset if its meant to be, everything is just going to have to work out).  so i think for now, our plan is to "try" in february and march and see where it goes from there---we got pregnant with our little boy the first time we tried (i hadn't ovulated in almost 4 months and was completely irregular--i know i o;'d on vacation, and sure enough, a bfp just weeks later!).  

    but if i don't get my anger in order, it may need to wait.  the counselor wants me to try non-medication routes, which i 'm doing b/c all the drugs i could take are cat D, plus i don't think i'm grieving when i'm on the meds.   i even started taking my prenatal vitamins 3 days ago...i had stopped them when we learned about our son.  

    sorry such a long explanation!!!  it looks like a lot of us will be moving over to ttcal together then at the same time! 

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  • We'll be trying again towards the end of 2011. I haven't talked with my OB about when we are able to start TTC again but I don't think we'll be mentally (or me physically) prepared to start trying again for several months. I personally would like one year to go by from Nolan's "angel date" before TTC but we want to start trying shortly after. 
  • Thanks girls for all of your responses. And such a variety of them make me feel good to know its alright not to be sure just yet.

    I have a follow up apt with my ob/gyn next Tuesday. But when I spoke to her on the phone she said that I should wait 3 months before trying again. I assumed that meant 3 periods, but I'll ask. Anyone who has any questions let me know, I'm still trying to figure out exactly what to ask her.

    I def want to try again just not sure when yet. My dr assured me that they would keep a close eye on me after our loss. I think we may wait until May and let nature take its course. Maybe I am being overly cautious but I am a teacher and will be off all summer. Not knowing what the future holds it may be good for me to have the summer off for whatever is in God's plan. Good Luck! Baby sticky dust to us all :)

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  • The first month we went back and forth on whether to try again right away or hold off for a few more months.  As the month went on, we both were feeling more and more positive about trying again soon, so we went for it.  IMO, we're always going to worry, but we are ready to be parents.  We both handled our grief differently, and we believe just because we're trying again the first cycle we've been cleared to doesn't mean we won't always love the baby we lost.  GL in your decision--I know it's a tough one.
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  • I miscarried on Xmas Eve and I've been devastated.... BUT, we are going to try again as soon as we get the go ahead.  My f/u appointment is next Monday and I am anxiously awaiting for it to get here... I just want some answers, IF there are any answers to be given... For now, like most of you, I'm just taking it day by day and hoping I don't have some sort of meltdown in an inappropriate place...

     Stay strong all...

     

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  • I miscarried on December 18th, and have been going through all the ups and downs associated.  We spent our Christmas with my family out of town, and it was a really nice distraction, but I am back at work for the first time since finding out, and thats been hard. My closest co-workers knew the week of, but others I held off on sharing and honstly have had a hard time finding the energy to go tell anyone else.  It took until New Years Eve for me to be able to even talk about trying again, it was so emotional during, and I became very angry when we discussed putting it off for a few months.  More realistically now though I'm realizing we need to do some more "coping" here at home back in real life, and take some time to deal with what we've gone through.  My DH has been really supportive and helpful, and luckily we're talking constructively enough to deal with this together and work at being on the same page regarding trying again.  We have a few weddings in the early summer to look forward to, so we might take advantage of those as times to try again : )   Good Luck girls!
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