In denial...

pomrom · January 2011

I am soooo in denial!!!! The baby's things are not in a nursery. We have an old farm house that has an extra living room, kinda like a den and since baby will be with me for at least 6 months, we are putting all the baby gear like the swing and stuff in there. It is out of the way but still easily accessable. We had our Christmas tree and other decorations and stuff in there. There really isn't much furniture in there because we moved here in October with the idea of putting the baby's things there.

So now our Christmas stuff is all put away and the room is basically EMPTY! I have been dragging my feet about setting up the babys things. Dh keeps asking me if I want help with it or why I am waiting. I didn't really know at first... just thought I was being a little lazy but I admitted to him today that I am scared and in denial!

This little guy was a suprise for us. We were completely shocked (yes i know we made him but we were being careful because I ran out of birth control for 1 month while waiting for dh's insurance to kick in) to have another baby. I wouldn't change it for anything now and a year ago, if you had told me that I would be preparing for his birth, I would have laughed in your face!!!!

We have a 7 year old son and he is a handful. He has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. He is in first grade and doing really well. He is very high functioning...you would never know anything was wrong. His trouble is mainly social and emotional. We also have a 4 year old girl, she is very spunky and will surely be my "little mommy" when the baby comes. The are both super excited to have a little brother and I am getting excited to see them with him.

This is my fear.

Dh goes to work at 2pm (sometimes when he is working over time, it is 10am) and he gets home from work at 12am. DS is at school until 4pm. Dd is home after 1230pm. I am going to be on my own with all three kids 5 nights a week! I have my hands full with the two kids I have here between dinner, baths and bed time. My son has homework too and HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS ALL AND TAKE CARE OF A NEWBORN???!!! I am sure it will all work out. Dh will be home for the first week, maybe two depending on how things go. But after he goes to work, what am I going to do? How am I going to get a rutine down? I have family close by but I don't know how relieable they will be.

LO may not make it until February. I have had PTL stopped once, steroid injections for his lungs, and contractions every day for the last couple weeks. My belly dropped and I lost my mp a couple days ago. So it is totally possible that he could be early, just like my other two kids. (ds was 34 weeks)

Am I crazy? Do you have a fear or two like this... are you panicked about bringing the baby home? Sorry it is so long.... thanks for listening.

Lantaria · January 2011

This is our fourth baby and I have found that you just have to jump in and do it. I occasionally get nervous about caring for all four (4yo, 2.5yo,1yo, and newborn) at once by myself. My husband works nights. He gets home around 9 am and goes to bed at 2 pm. I am on my own all night, It is hard with three kids and it will be harder with four, but my theory is that I just have to deal with it. My husband will only be home for a few days after I deliver this baby, after that I will be back to full time caring for the entire family (cooking, cleaning, laundry, childcare). It sucks, but it is what it is. My advice is to get out of the house with all three kids asap! It really helps me. It can be intimidating to take them all out in public alone, but it does get easier. If you put things off they seem to get more intimidating (atleast for me). You will survive!!! I hope everything goes smoothly for you.

lfmcnair · January 2011

This is my first kid so I wont even try to say that I know how you feel, but I can totally see why you are overwhelmed and starting to feel anxious. I am starting to feel a bit nervous of the thought that at some point I will be alone with this baby. OMG. Why should I be trusted with this?!?!?!? lol

You are not alone. Im sure many women are on your same boat and feeling maybe even more stressed. Breathe. It will be ok.

Annierose1 · January 2011

Like a PP said, this is my first kid so I can't offer you much advice. But I will tell you that I've heard from boy my mom and MIL (who both had multiple children close together at a young age) that it all just comes naturally. It's going to be overwhelming and you're going to want to pull your hair out and give up sometimes, but that just comes with the job of being a mother.

Go into it with confidence knowing that it's in you naturally to nurture and care for children. Just jump right in and give it your all. The first poster gave good advice about going out with your kids. It gets you out of the house as well as stimulates your older 2 kids. Go on the internet and find activities they can do when their homework is finished, find new games they can play. And I think it's also important that your husband give you a break on the weekends. Even if just for 30 minutes to an hour to take a bath, paint your nails or just take a nap. You're going to need some time to yourself to stay sane enough to care for your kids.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! I feel nervous as well, but it's just a part of being a mother. It's in all of us to do it and to do it successfully. Be confidant in yourself and you will be able to do this.

ReauxsMom · January 2011

It just sounds like you have a realistic vision of what is expected from you and it is a lot. But you can do it. Take a deep breath and think more about the blessing than the work. Oh and IMO you need to let your DH get that room together. You will have plenty to do later and with PTL already you don't want to over do it or get caught with no room when LO arrives. Good Luck.

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