So...telling people sucked!
I'm gonna be a whiny whinerson right now so I apologize in advance. I have a big mouth and am impatient so we decided to just go ahead and tell people. Well, that could not have been a worse decision. EVERYBODY with the exception of Matt's brother was totally negative. Normally people's opinions about my business don't really get to me too much but this is really hurting my feelings. We probably told about 20 people and got reactions like,
Oh, Wow, is that sensible?
Another one? Really?
You're having another one? Can you afford it?
Oh, I don't think that's such a good idea.
Not one congratulations(except his bro). Not even from my own mother. I told her that Matt Matt was gonna be a big brother over the phone and she just paused for a second and said "oh, you're having another one?" That's it...end of conversation. And what I don't understand about it is none of these people live anywhere near us, help us with anything or are involved in our lives at all other than the occasional vacay visit. So I don't understand how us having another child affects them so negatively. We just decided to stop telling people period. I don't know if it's already the preggo hormones or what but I seriously cry about it at least twice a day. I don't know how to get their reactions out of my mind. I mean I understand that 4 is more than the average family but it's not like we're just uncontrollable rabbits or are planning to be the Duggars or anything. Oh and that was another reaction BTW...that we breeding like rabbits and to be careful that we don't end up on welfare. WTF!!! And this is from one of my supposed best friends...and the *** has 5 kids herself from 5 different dudes. Really??? I just don't get it.
Thanks for letting me vent ladies. Am I being too sensitive or are we really ruining the world by having a 4th? I'd really like to know you're opinions as I really respect your opinions. TIA!!!
Re: So...telling people sucked!
that is crazy! I don't know why anyone would be unhappy that you have another little bundle on his/her way. Lots of people have 4 (or more) kids without being rabbits or on welfare. One of my friends has 4 kids and when she got pg for #4, her family was concerned that she was just taking on too much, but I don't think anyone was really negative to her.
don't worry about what everyone else thinks. Whatever completes your family is all you need to worry about!
That is awful, I'm so sorry you are getting this type of reaction to such wonderful news
I think it's unfair to be negative because you are having a fourth child, it's no one's concern but your own. Like Vanessa said, whatever completes your family is what really matters. I'm sure it's hard not to be emotional to how people are reacting to your news, but just ignore them. Whatever makes you and your husband happy is what matters most!
| Olowalu, Maui ~ August 6, 2008 |
| Family of 4 ~ April 2, 2011 |
| Family of 5 - October 24, 2012 |
Oh wow Jaime, I am SO sorry...that's awful! People can be so...judgey...ugh! Yes, four kids is more than average these days, but like you said:
1) It's not unheard of...
2) It's YOUR family, not theirs and furthermore, you and your DH are the ones who will be raising them, looking after them, etc.
Try not to take their unenthusiastic responses to heart...I am sure once baby #4 is here they'll be SO happy! For now, surround yourself with those who can be happy for you and forget the rest...seriously! I am THRILLED for you!
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Ugh hon, I'm sorry.
I'll never understand why people make those kinds of comments when the horse is already out of the barn, so to speak. My family is REALLY bad about it - even my own mother. When one of my cousins and her fiance had kids *gasp* before they were married, my mom repeatedly told my cousin that, "It's not too late you know - you can always give them up for adoption."
I'm really sorry...I agree with the others, the size of your family is YOUR business and not anyone else's! I'm sure everyone else will come around in time (even my mother is now in love with my cousin's kids), so in the meantime just ignore the naysayers and enjoy your growing family!
I think the other ladies are right. People ALWAYS have comments, even when it's your first or your last, your second or tenth. It's NONE of anyone's business but those that are having the kids. You take full responsibility for your family and you are an amazing mother, be proud to have another baby! Be proud that you are growing a little one that you will love and cherish just as much as you cherish and love the other 3. I'm sorry people are rude and that your feelings are hurt.
I'm pregnant too so I understand the raging hormones coupled with rude, inconsiderate comments are not the most effective or helpful to someone who is trying to grow a child. I've had some rude comments this pregnancy and mostly I just let it go. It's my life and my family so they can **** off! Yeah I'm pregnant and a *itch like that
Oh, I'm so sorry! That's terrible that they aren't supportive. It's your choice alone, and if you are supporting them without their help, then it's none of anyone else's business.
So, we'll all say it (again) for them.....congratulations!!!!
That sucks! You aren't being oversensitive and you aren't ruining the world. I would definitely be hurt.
And this!
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Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
Sorry girl! People are lame. Just about everyone I told I was pregnant asked if it was planned. Rude IMO. I can just imagine how they would act about a #4.
Whatever to all of them and congrats to you and your lovely family!
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
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