IUI #6 and things didn't go so great (long vent enclosed)

lhcooper · January 2011

So, I need to vent in a big way. Unfortunately this morning at "collection time" DH had mechanical difficulties. He tried and tried (and, TMI, so did I, virtually every trick I have and some I didn't even know I had) but finally we just had to give up and use frozen sperm (which we had, thank goodness). Since it is our last IUI, I asked them to unfreeze 2 vials instead of just one -- and a good thing, too, because from those two vials we ended up with 7.1 total motile sperm (when we have done fresh, DH's count has ranged from 25-50 million total motile, really excellent). I was and am pretty devastated. Yes, I know, "it only takes one" -- but this was the ONLY time out of our 6 IUIs that we've had everything lined up really well, with good response to Femara (one 19 and one 12 mm follicle on CD 9), DH in town, and IUI timed for 36 hours after trigger. Maybe I wouldn't care if I hadn't decided that I just can't do any more IUIs, but all I wanted for this cycle (other than getting pregnant of course) was to be able to feel like we'd given this last one our very best shot. Yes, we could do one more IUI, but I just don't think I can handle it and anyway we are already in the land of diminishing returns.

PLUS we are both so confused about what has happened with DH's frozen sample: from one single donation (which produced 6 vials), we have had a frozen vial with 12.5 million, another single vial with 7.3 million, and then today, 2 vials = 7.3. We even talked with the andrologist (but before he had defrosted today's vials, and then he left work--it was Sunday and they all wanted to leave, that was clear--before we could ask him what the hell happened) and he didn't have a great explanation (or any explanation, really). On top of that, today was the substitute RE and she starts talking to DH about seeing their staff urologist -- which he does not need to do because his sperm count is just fine when it is fresh, but she never looks at people's charts when she does the procedures; the first and only other time we had her for an IUI, she congratulated me for "pushing out a cycle" even though I ovulate on my own. I've just been ranting to DH about this clinic and the way I now feel like they just don't know how to communicate -- literally even the "report" we were given today is printed differently, with different information, than the others we've been given for previous cycles, fresh or frozen; once I got a printout from them about my follicles after an u/s, the other five times I didn't; once the report said DH's birthdate was "missing" from their file, even though they had it....etc. It is a good thing I have set up a consult with the other clinic in town; we will have that in 9 days -- before I know if this last screwed up IUI has worked -- and I think it will be a big relief. I do NOT think I want to go forward with IVF at the clinic we've been at; maybe I'm just taking out my anger at not getting a BFP out on them, but this is customer service they are supposed to be providing (it is all OOP) and they are failing, if only on the level of basic communication which is so important in such an emotionally fraught process!

The andrologist did suggest Viagra for a back-up later today so we did get the prescription and DH used it and boy, did it work. Of course then I find there's data out there about Viagra affecting sperm badly, but I am going to assume that DH's sperm were all built up and ready to go and hopefully unaffected by one pill. And we will probably try to BD again tonight or tomorrow morning. BUT I am really emotional about it all (as you can probably tell) and meanwhile I have a *huge* 4-day work conference to travel to on Wednesday, very high pressure and very much not the relaxing time recommended for implantation.

AAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent (if you've even read this far!). I may be back for more venting on this same thread later. It does help...I already feel a little better just having pounded out all of the above....

Mrs.McIrish · January 2011

I'm so sorry the IUI did not go according to plan. The positives: you had frozen sperm on hand so it isn't all to waste and DH was able to "perform" at home. You have been through so many of these cycles and it must be so difficult each time. Of course you are frustrated!!! Anyone would be in your shoes!! From reading your posts, I think you absolutly should change RE's because you might just need to start fresh. The current RE may be fine but you have a lot of bad experiences with them (which may have had the same result elsewhere, you don't know). But you may just feel better starting over elsewhere.

You aren't out on this IUI cycle so try to find some **hope** that it worked !! Good luck:- )

aurora1974 · January 2011

I think it's absolutely understandable that you would be frustrated at this point. I would too. For this journey, I really believe it's so important that you can trust the RE you have as well as the staff. I hope that this IUI works for you and you get your BFP, but if you still need the RE, I hope that you find a better situation for you with the new one you are consulting with.

Good luck!! And you know you can vent here anytime.

mysticl · January 2011

It sounds like the clinic sucks. You should definitely try a new one before you make any major decisions.

Sorry it was such a cruddy day.

kbrodie06 · January 2011

Sounds like you need to go to another place, this is not right. All in all, i hope it all turns out good for you. I am off cycle now, since i go in tuesday to see how we are "growing" and then find out trigger date. It will all work, in a positive way!

Kristin

lhcooper · January 2011

Thanx, everyone. DH just talked to the andrologist about yesterday's thawed sample; the guy insists that there really is no problem with the numbers, that they may look like they are declining but in fact the samples are fine, and that it depends on when in the process they get tested; he claims that many frozen sperm may "wake up" after the IUI, but that they wait with the thawing only until they've reached the "threshold" of 5 million or so and then inseminate asap. For him, this is what may be causing the difference in the numbers per vial. He also reassured DH that he has "hyper motile" sperm (even in the frozen vial). Anyway it's too late now, but this does make me feel a little better. Plus DH was up for more BDing last night.

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IUI #6 and things didn't go so great (long vent enclosed)

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