- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Multiples
MADforever2009
member
more newborn questions-holding, crying, etc...
MADforever2009
member
in Multiples
3 weeks old, overall really i think theyre pretty content. (i dont have anything to compare to cause im a first time mom)
So as they get older they are starting to stay awake longer after some feedings, im attempting tummy time, but of course they hate it. My mom says of course they dont want to be on their tummys after they eat, they have a full belly...well when should i do it then?
Im attempting to follow babywise but of course i know all bets are off with them being preemies but every once and a while one or both babies will wake up before two hours and fuss...we try diaper changing and pacis before we feed again but i know theyre not really hungry cause they wont take a full feeding. Should I worry about 'snack feeding'?
What am I supposed to do with hubbs? He gets mad at me when hold the boys too much. But too much to him is like 20 minutes. He literally wants to feed them and put them back to sleep like they did when they were 3 days old. (they dont do that anymore) im afraid im not holding them enough. I feel so bad when i lay them down during the day and they are wide awake. At night of course i dont mind cause i want them to differ between night and day.
Cannon was up the whole time between his 7:30 and 10:30 feeding. Normal?
Its frustrating to not know their needs all the time, when did you learn their cries?
Sorry for the randomness...
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: more newborn questions-holding, crying, etc...
Re: tummy time. My kids cry during tummy time to this day. I don't think it has anything to do with full bellies (although I can't be sure obviously) b/c it doesn't matter when I do it. I just think they don't like it. If I give them their pacis they don't cry, but then they just fall asleep. We're still experimenting with how to get them to do it longer, but it'd definitely gotten better since they got more head control. Maybe they just grow out of hating it (?), I hope. I also started napping them on their tummies 2x a day. That's helped a lot IMO. (I only do it when I'm sitting right in front of them.)
Unless I think my kids are going through a growth spurt I don't feed them when they wake up and cry after 2 hrs. It took me at least a month, maybe longer, to ascertain why they're crying and I still don't know sometimes. When mine were <1 month they fussed during their naps for no reason I could ascertain. They did the same thing at night. Like you said I know they weren't hungry b/c they wouldn't take a full feeding. Looking back I think they didn't like sleeping flat on their backs. It got better once I napped them on an incline (boppies/swing). Or maybe they just grew out of it. Around 6-8w they started sleeping between their night feedings really well and also napped a lot better. Now when they wake up I hold them and put them in the swing.
20 min of holding is definitely NOT too long! I wish I could figure out how to hold each of mine for 20 min at a time. It's rare I can do that now. I think you're doing it just right -- keeping them awake and snuggling with them after their feedings. : )
That evening feeding (7-7:30ish) was/is always hard for me to get them to nap afterward too. When they fall asleep after that feeding is now when I put them to bed for the night. Sometimes they go down easily around 8:30 or 9pm and sometimes it's a struggle. They used to hardly ever sleep after that feeding and it was a PITA to put them down for the night when they were overstimulated, so I'm going to assume it's normal! But not normal in a good-for-sleep way haha.
My pedi recommended tummy time after they eat - it angles their esophagus up and helps with spit up. All babies hate tummy time; that's normal. It will be awhile before they tolerate it.
I fed on demand, and never worried about snack feeding. Although when one ate, they both ate.
I'm of the mind that you can't spoil a newborn, and as such there's no such thing as too much holding. quite honestly, it sounds like you might need to do some research for your husband about newborn care. His attitude at night coupled with this idea tells me that he doesn't know what he's up against, and it doesn't sound like he trusts your instincts much. Take him to the pedi with you, find a book with the info in it, and shed some light on this for him.
It takes awhile to work the kinks out of getting them to fall asleep after that feeding. We started their bedtime routines early, and they're now usually in bed by 7.
It does get easier, and better, and more fun. The first few weeks are pure hell, but it is worth it.
I would say that at 3 weeks, we had no schedule whatsoever. I fed on demand, and I agree that my thoughts were that babies that young could not be spoiled. We had family and friends around all the time til my guys were about 6 weeks old, and I would say that they were almost constantly held. Even after that, Benjamin wanted to be held whenever he was awake until he was about 4 months old. It was tough, but I wore him in my Moby wrap as much as I could, or hired a mothers helper to hold him when I needed to do things, and I really think it was the right thing to do-- he turned into a happy infant who is now much more independent and easy-going. I could never have put him down and listened to him cry, and I can't imagine what it would have done to him if he had cried and been ignored at that stage of life.
At 3 weeks, I fit in tummy time whenever I could. Asher never minded it, and Benjamin would tolerate it for about 10 minutes, and then fuss, so if he was upset, I ended it for him. I read somewhere not to force it because you don't want them to associate tummy time with unhappiness.
I'm not sure if this is helpful... I guess what I am saying is that it is ok to take your cues from them and not follow rules or a schedule someone who has never met your babies planned out. You are their mom and you know what's best!
Good post!! I was wondering these same things myself........
My husband doesn't think I should hold them long either-but sometimes I think they just need to snuggle and feel your love. After feedings, I have been holding one of them for a little bit, probably about 15 or so until they get sleepy and then I'll put one down in the swing or bouncy. I just feel so bad putting them in those all the time..but I don't want them to rely on me holding them all the time either.
well when should i do [tummy time] then? Any time they are awake is good. Even if it's just for a few minutes several times a day. Maybe try it on your chest too. Every little bit helps.
Should I worry about 'snack feeding'? I'd try to get feeds between 2.5-4.5 hours. And yes, when one eats, you both eat!
What am I supposed to do with hubbs? Awww, you can never hold a baby too much. Especially that age. I have a baby in my arms almost constantly when I'm home. I just wish I could hold them both at the same time. Babies don't need to be played with at 3 weeks, but they do need to be stimulated while awake. The best way is for you to touch, talk, hold, and look at them while they're awake.
Cannon was up the whole time between his 7:30 and 10:30 feeding. Normal? As a one-time thing, it's not a huge deal. I certainly wouldn't be trying to keep them awake for that long. At 3 weeks, they shouldn't be awake for more than an hour or so.
Its frustrating to not know their needs all the time, when did you learn their cries? I'd say around 10-11 weeks was when I really started to figure things out. (Just in time for me to go to work. Awesome!) You'll figure it out though. Every day gets a little easier.