Multiples
Baby blues? Been home a week and a half and a lot of anxiety...
We just had our adorable baby girls last tuesday on Dec 21 and ever since we came home I feel so overwhelmed, filled with anxiety and just plain old scared. Wow it is a lot of work with twins!! My husband has been home on leave and he will be home another work, and I am really freaking out about when he goes back. How am I going to do this alone?? How have you all coped? I have to be honest.. this is not easy. Not that I was expecting it to be. I guess I have a ton of anxiety about how I will do this without his help all day........ What are your days like? Anyone else scared or have anxiety? What was your routine when your hubbies went back to work?
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Re: Baby blues? Been home a week and a half and a lot of anxiety...
Cut the Crap - Weight loss journey of a Few Fat Chicks
Congrats on your baby girls!
I was alone with them after the first week, because DH could only take one week home. It was hard and exhausting, and I had a LOT of anxiety about it, since they were our first babies.
My advice is to take a deep breath and realize that you CAN do this. Also, whenever they are napping, make sure that you lie down and do the same - don't worry about cleaning or any other housework, just make sure you get some rest.
I woke up with them every morning and changed and fed them - I would put one in the Boppy to the right of me, and then put my feet up on the coffee table and place the other one on my thighs (I bottle fed). At the beginning, they pretty much slept after each feeding, so I would just put them in the swings (sometimes swaddled, sometimes not), and would lay down when they were sleeping.
I also tried to shower every day, even though I just put back on pjs - it just made me feel a little bit better. I just showered during their napping, and put the monitor in the bathroom with me.
Good luck, and it DOES get better, and hopefully the anxiety will pass. Also, when your DH does go back to work, make sure you get him to relieve you when he gets home, if you need a break. You need time to yourself, too.
Yep, yep, yep!
As far as the baby blues...I had them really bad. After the girls were home a full week, my DH had me go out on a Friday night to our Bible study so I could take a break. I was gone for about an hour and a half. When I was driving home I realized that I didn't want to go back home. It terrified me that I was feeling that way. I wanted to be anywhere else but my house! By Week 4 I was doing much better with the emotions/blues, and by Week 6/7 I was feeling more like myself (just tired!). The baby blues are hard- you'll get through it though. It helps to talk about what's going through your head. I had my Mom and DH to talk to. I was 100% honest about how I was feeling and it really helped me. Most of the stuff I was feeling that I thought was weird, my Mom had also felt- so it helped me feel more normal!
My H went back to work after 10 days. We had no family in town. People from our church brought meals several times a week, and I did have two different friends that each came over for a couple hours once a week (the first three months of the boys' lives) to help me out with whatever I needed--watching the boys so I could shower and pump, caring for one baby while I cared for the other and we could chat, folding laundry, etc. that was awesome. Though except for those few hours a week, it was just me and DH, and he was working anywhere from 50-70 hrs/wk.
It was tough. I absolutely was scared and had anxiety. I had a wicked case of the baby blues and that plus sleep deprivation plus the shock to your system of suddenly having TWO newborns to care for can be a lot to handle. Our routine is that we split the night shift evenly (since we agreed my days were just as challenging as his! And the first few months, "nap while the babies are napping" was not an option since I also had to eat, wash bottles, etc. :P and the times when they were both napping were SO limited at first). We tried to follow the EASY routine and that did gradually help bring some structure to our days. I also followed HSHHC starting at 8w and that really helped too.
Hang in there! It will be tough, but you CAN get through this and it will get easier! And if you do start to feel like you are having PPD or postpartum anxiety, contact your OB right away. There is no shame in that; MoMs are at higher risk for PPD. Get whatever help you need, and feel free to vent and ask questions here whenever you need to.
I am sharing a brain w/ macchiato today!