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Needing help with insensitive people

missbaby14missbaby14
in Trouble TTC

This week was a tough one for me in terms of IF.  Three pregnancy announcements among friends and family and then this....  I went in for b/w and urine sample for life insurance.  Well the lady asks me if I have AF and I explained to her that I would have a little blood due to chemical pregnancy.  Well this lady held me captive and made a doctor suggestion to me with a "96% success rate" and that this Dr. supposedly can tell you to "just eat alfalfa" and "boom your pregnant."  And then proceeded to explain how she got preg first month off of BC and then the 2nd time didn't know she was preg for 4 months.  So here I am trying not to cry just nodding my head not knowing how to stop the onslaught of insensitivity.  Looking back I realized I shouldn't have opened the door with my honestly but she was a health professional and I just assumed she would have half a brain.

Now that my rant is over....I need some suggestions on how to stop this stuff short without being rude.  Especially in situations like this where I really can't just walk out or be rude.

TTC since 10/09
dx PCOS, mild Endo, hypothyroid, MFI mophology
3 Clomid cycles=BFN
12/10 IUI = c/p
2/11 IUI = c/p
RPL b/w=all negative
6/11 IVF#1 = c/p
8/11 Lap
11/11 FET = c/p
7.14.12 IVF&PGD+acu+Lovenox=BFP

**SAIFW/PAIFW**
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Re: Needing help with insensitive people

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    tinkerbelletinkerbelle

    I am so sorry she put you through that.  What a half-wit. Super Angry   I think in a case like that cutting her off and/or being rude may be the only thing that would work.  I don't think you did anything wrong by being honest.  She was doing a medical test and that was necessary information.  She just needs to get a clue and take some medical/IF etiquette lessons.

     

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    MToomsMTooms

    How about- At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people -- you are obnoxious in a different and worse way....

     

    or- Oh my goodness, I would never think to give someone I don't know such insensitive and personal advice, but I guess that is just me.

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    zookbridezookbride member

    I'm so sorry, that is very unprofessional of her! What a douche! Sadly, people like that just don't comprehend personal boundaries and probably wouldn't even if you told her she crossed a huge line.

    You could say something like, obviously you don't understand since you don't have lack of fertility, so please don't give me advice. Or I'm already seeing a fertility specialist who is qualified to give me advice, but thank you.

     ((hugs)) I really hate people like that.

    New to 3T? Check out this website first:
    TroubleTTC

    image
    Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end --Semisonic

    **TTC since 04/09, C/P 02/02/10; 4 weeks, 3 days**
    **Dx: Anovulation, Hypothryroidism, Mild Endo, Pituitary Adenoma (prolactin issues), PAI-1, MFI **

    **7/10: Clomid + TI= BFN**
    **3/2/11: 1st RE appointment**
    **DH= Morph= 2%, Motility= 30%**
    **HSG= All clear!!**
    **3/11: Femara + Pregnyl + TI= BFN**
    **5/17/11: Laparoscopy / hysteroscopy = mild endo**
    **7/11: Novarel + IUI #1= BFN (7mil, 75% motility, 2% morph)**
    **8/11: Femara + Novarel + IUI #2= BFN (11mil, 35% motility, 1% morph)**
    **11/11: Femara + Novarel + IUI #3= BFN (9mil, 2% morph)**
    **Jan 2012: Follistim (75ius) + IUI #4= CANCELLED due to cyst -put on bcp**
    **Feb 2012: Follistim (75ius) + Novarel + IUI #4.2= BFFN (2.5mil, 13% motility, 1% morph)**
    **Mar 2012: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5= CANCELLED due to 35mm & 14mm cysts**
    **On med break indefinitely...IF Sucks!**

    **Jan 2013: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.2= CANCELLED due to high prolactin level, MRI scheduled, pituitary adenoma found, put on Dostinex**
    **Mar 2013: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.3= CANCELLED due to uterine polyp, surgery scheduled for polypectomy and D&C**
    **03/22/13: Hysteroscopy, polypectomy and D&C**
    **May 2013: Finally got to start a cycle!!! Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.4 = BFFN (6mil, 74% motility, 2% morph)** 

    **Jun 2013: Decide to start IVF**
    IVF w/ICSI #1 (Long Lupron Protocol)
    06/26/13: Start BCPs
    07/02/13: HSG #2= all clear
    07/15/13: Start Lupron 10 ius
    07/25/13: Suppression check
    07/28/13: Start stims (225IUs Follistim + 75IUs Menopur) drop to 5 IUs Lupron
    08/01/13: Monitoring: 12 follicles all about 10mm, E2- 313
    08/04/13: Monitoring: 18 follicles (15mm, 13mm, a few 11mm, rest 10mm or below) E2- 1,505
    Start Augmentin- antibiotic prep
    08/06/13: Monitoring: 13 follicles (18mm, 17mm, rest b/w 15mm-16mm!) Ready to trigger!! E2- 2,248
    08/08/13: ER-- 14R, 13M, 10F 
    08/11/13: One fertilized late, we now have 11 embryos!
    08/13/13: 5dt-- 2 blasts (Sheldon and Penny) 3AA and 3BB, none to freeze
    8/23/13: BFFN... Sheldon and Penny didn't stick**

    **8/29/13: Follow up... bad fragmentation issues. Changing protocol to Antagonist for round #2 coming soon! Also started on 81mg Aspirin after getting blood panel done and found out I have PAI-1**

    **Oct 2013: After large cysts, finally starting IVF #2**
    IVF w/ICSI #2 (Antagonist Protocol)
    BCPs started back in Sept due to cysts
    10/27/13: Start stims (225 IUs Gonal-F + 75 IUs Menopur)
    11/03/13 - 11/05/13: Add Ganirelix to the mix
    11/06/13: 3 follicles at 18mm-- Ready to trigger!
    11/08/13: ER-- 17R, 13M, 8F
    11/13/13: 5dt-- 2 blasts (Luke and Leia) 5AB and 4AB, 1 frostie
    11/20/13- 11/23/13: light positives on FRERs and Wondofos
    11/22/13: BFN per RE office (under HCG of 10)
    11/27/13: CP ::sigh::

    *12/03/13: Follow up...great response and quality this time, was given 50% chance of it working, just didn't stick. Great plan for 2014! 

    **Jan 2014: Last IVF of our SRP**
    IVF w/ICSI, freeze all, then FET
    12/27/13: Start BCPs
    01/19/14: Stims (375 IUs Gonal-F + 75 IUs Menopur)

    Congratulations Cutebride!! --TWINS!! Congratulations, Luvie, on your sweet boy! Congrats, Jess! So happy for you ladies! <3<3  
    ~~Also best of luck to Kati, illinigal, and youngin!~~

    *S/PAIFW*

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    CrispityCrispity member

    Ugh. Medical professionals should know better, but often don't! With my first c/p, I went to the OB, and the nurse who brought me in said a bunch of stupid stuff to me, the worst of which was, "They told you that you were pregnant?", as if I had imagined the positive, doubling beta numbers!

    I told her, "Yes, I was definitely pregnant, and I'm having a miscarriage. Please just let me talk to the doctor now". She shut up then and left. I think with medical professionals, you have every right to be direct. In your case, maybe just something like, "I'm happy with the doctor I'm seeing, thank you".

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I really hope 2011 is a better year for all of us!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Cautiously expecting our second little petri dish baby - stick, Baby, stick!

    BabyFruit Ticker

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    missbaby14missbaby14
    I saw someone on here posted it's the Year of the Rabbit...let's hope 2011 is better than 2010.  Thanks for the suggestions.  I am hoping that next time this happens, as we know it always does, I have the clarity of mind to use one of these.
    TTC since 10/09
    dx PCOS, mild Endo, hypothyroid, MFI mophology
    3 Clomid cycles=BFN
    12/10 IUI = c/p
    2/11 IUI = c/p
    RPL b/w=all negative
    6/11 IVF#1 = c/p
    8/11 Lap
    11/11 FET = c/p
    7.14.12 IVF&PGD+acu+Lovenox=BFP

    **SAIFW/PAIFW**
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