Don't know what to think...

ataylor86 · January 2011

I realize that I haven't been trying for years, nor have I had to go through treatments, or lose a much wanted pregnancy, so a part of me always, always feels guilty about the way I feel. But I just don't know how to deal. My husband and I have been trying for about six months (off birth control for a year now), and nothing. Worse than nothing, every cycle kept getting longer, longer. I'm up to 79 days this cycle. My gyno said I'm just stressed, and didn't really want to talk about it until next summer. I bought a huge amount of OPK's, and started using them...but they would never turn positive. I finally had an appointment with a new regular doc, and she put me on medication, believing that it's a hormonal imbalance due to problems with blood sugar. Two weeks later, I finally got my positive OPK, on our anniversary. The next day, I had sever cramping, so I'm convinced that I finally ovulated. I got my hopes up, only to take a test this morning and have it be negative. I feel shattered, mainly because this was our last chance to try for a year and a half to two years, because my husband is deploying. And if we have any more problems after that, my gyno insinuated that we would have to try for another year after that before I could get any help. I feel like I'm broken and no one can fix me. My husband doesn't understand what it feels like. To him, it's a disappointment, but he's not the one who has something wrong. I can't stop bawling. I don't know what to do. Am I selfish for feeling this way, knowing that there are women out there that have waited years, and we've only been trying months?

SweetTea*83 · January 2011

Hi and welcome! I'm sorry to hear that you're having a rough time right now. Don't worry about feeling selfish for your disappointment - you're allowed to feel however you want to feel. YH's upcoming deployment only makes time more crucial to you and I'm sure has been adding a lot of stress to TTC.

That being said, I'm sorry your GYN pulled the "stress" card. If your cycles have been 70+ days, I think it' pretty obvious there's an underlying issue. I'm glad that your new doctor was more responsive. You might want to consider seeing an RE for testing when you're ready to TTC again after the deployment.

I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you this time. Hang in there and visit the board when you need support or have questions. Thank you to both you and YH for serving our country!

Aime32 · January 2011

Hey Lady! I'm sorry you are feeling so down and you are not selfish for feeling the way you are feeling. I can tell you that I had felt similar. Hence one of my reasons for switching my OB. When I switched OBs they actually were interested in me, MH, and our whole process of TTC. I even said to them that I think something is wrong. I was consulted on charting which my 1st OB never explained to me. Found out I had an infection after my first visit. At my follow up visit my doc saw that I was ovulating really late from my charting and wanted me to see an RE. But I can't believe your doc pulled the stressed card. Yes stress does your cycle to become a little wacky, but it does sound like you have an issue there. I think you should look into seeing an RE. Do you know how long YH will be deployed? Maybe you can start planning a consultation for when he gets back or right before he gets back (if you know his medical history really well). If you can get one before he comes home, maybe you can have your testing done and get that out of the way.

GL to you and feel free to post on here whenever. The ladies on this board are filled with knowledge. And thank you to YH for doing what he does

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