Dealing with a doctor - advice needed — The Bump
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Dealing with a doctor - advice needed

Hey ladies,  I do have one thing I could use your advice on:

When we were in the NICU, they ran bloodwork looking for clotting disorders, and they felt pretty strongly he had one.  They consulted with one pediatric hematologist by phone, from a different hospital.  I was told that we needed to follow up with this doctor and he would need to re-run the same bloodwork when Carson got a little older because the labs on a newborn are not really accurate.  They made a big deal out of us going back.

So I call, make an appointment with this hematologist and we go to the appointment, expecting bloodwork, etc.  We get there and a different doctor who I have never even heard of comes in to the appointment.  He asks us for a history of what happened with Carson, says he has reviewed his records, gives him a quick physical exam and tells us that he thinks he is fine.  He said he "bets" the blood clot he was born with was due to the cord wrapping around his arm at some point (totally contrary to what everyone else has said).  He says he will run a couple of tests when C is 6 months, but he doubts they will find anything.  

I didn't say anything at the time, because I was kind of shocked by the situation, we had already waited 2 hours for this guy to come in and I just wanted to get out of there.  

I felt really blown off by this guy.  I talked to C's pedi this week and she agreed that that guy is terrible, and she said that referring people to that practice is a problem, because you ask for one guy and they give you this one.  Problem:  this is the only pediatric hematology practice in this town.  Even if I call and request the original guy I wanted, will he really go against what this random guy said?  They work out of the same practice, so I bet they back each other.

Hopefully that guy is right, C is fine, but I would really like a second opinion, which can only come from this practice, and I am torn about calling up there and "demanding" the original guy, because then he will probably think I am being one of "those" moms and really not investigate C's situation like I want him to.  


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Carson Henry, born 39w, 2d, via emergency c/s due to no fetal movement and fetal distress.  Seizures, IVH grade 2, brain injury, kidney and liver damage.  Complete blood clot in the artery in his right arm.  27 days in the NICU.  Now discharged from all specialists, excepts his kidney doctor, who will monitor him indefinitely.  My tough little cookie.

Re: Dealing with a doctor - advice needed

  • Is there anybody in Santa Fe or another nearby town? That way you can get a fresh perspective.

    I think sometimes they blow us off because they are arrogant and don't want to admit that they don't know why or what is wrong. Or they just have more of a "wait and see" attitude. If that does not mesh with your attitude towards it, I definitely say go elsewhere.

    That said, if you can't travel, just say, "I really feel more comfortable with Doc X" when you make the appt. You don't have to give details-- just repeat that until they stop pressing. It usually takes people about 3 times to accept it, and move on. Say it with a pleasant tone and smile, and be firm. No one can get mad at you for that!

    Good luck! 


  • Maybe call the office back and tell them that you decided that you want blood work drawn now instead of waiting till he is 6 months. 

    Or just call them back and tell them you want to make an appt with the one doctor and ask nicely to not be scheduled with the one that you don't like.  You don't have to give them any reason.

    I work at doctors office and there are many patients that will request to only see one doctor.  No one gets upset or mad.

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  • I think you've got a couple of options

    1. Since your Pedi agrees he's a jerkface see if she'll take control of the situation by calling the practice and requesting the bloodwork be done now.  It's easy enough for her to say something like " I've been working with X kiddo for X months and all along we've been expecting for these ?'s to be addressed at this stage based on the NICU recommendations and as his primary caregiver I feel more comfortable following those recommendations".  Most Dr. (as in jerkface) aren't going to tell another Dr. no, I don't care what you think we do it later.

    2. Call the practice ***odds are if the medical community in your town thinks this guy is a jerkface than so do the staff he works with every daySmile ***  Be honest but tactful and let them know that you'd like to schedule an appointment with the other Dr., that you were uncomfortable with the way your appointment went with Dr. Jerkface and you need to have some issues address right away by Dr. Nice Guy.

             ****make sure you use the terminology, uncomfortable vs. unhappy.  Unhappy= eye rolls and uncomfortable=oh *** what went wrong.  Stick with that terminology when talking with Dr. Nice Guy also, unhappy patients *** and moan but uncomfortable patients take their kids elsewhere and have other professionally evaluated your decisions****


    Also just because Dr.'s are in a practice together does not mean they get along.  It may be a purely financial partnership, maybe Jerkface was the only qualified applicant and they can't wait to get rid of him.  I think that if you can get in front of the other Dr. that no way will he flat out refuse to do the bloodwork now if you request it based on the previous recommendation.


    Good luck.

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