Parenting after a Loss

If I have offended anyone...

I certainly apologize... however, I will say that LOTS of people have their etsy links in their siggys... and I certainly have been a poster on this board, and an active member of the bump for over almost 2 years.  I do not solicit business.... I post cute pictures of my kid and enjoy making hats as a hobby for my mom's hobby. Hats are not how I make my living... nor her.  We like doing things for people I consider to be my friends... and just want to say the following facts....

 I am on the bump to find a community of women to support me in becoming a parent and in my actual parenting.  If I "abused" the bump, I apologize... but I will also say that in general... people, after having seen what my mom did for Harper... solicited her... and asked her to do things.... This was not a case of me coming her to beg for business in my mother's name and with no intent in being a part of this community otherwise.

1.  To make a monkey hat, for example, it takes 7 dollars in supplies, about 4 1/2 hours of work, postage of 5 bucks, etc etc.  My mom makes about $2 for her work.  We do this for the enjoyment of making things, being creative, and sharing our talents with people I enjoy being with.  I will also note that we have made presents for girls on this board, I have overnighted things to people with no compensation and with absolutely no profit or gain... other than trying to be a kind decent person.

2.  I have a successful law firm, and make well more than $2 an hour doing that.  I'm not here with my tin cup announcing caps are for sale.  In fact, if you think etsy is the way to financial independence or that my family is making hand over fist on the bump, I am more than willing to disclose that my mom has made less than $1500 in 2 months of business.... and over 2/3 of our sales are to non-bumpies.  I will also note that I personally dont receive any... ANY of that money. I am not soliciting anything for myself.  EVEN if I make the hat, I leave that money with my mother... it is her hobby... and it is money she is working for to take her grandkids on a vacation one day. 

3.  If anyone wants to find my mom's stuff, they can PM me.... what  PM is is private...a private message...and that is their own business.  People here are my friends many of them have me on facebook or etsy.... I have never pm'ed someone asking them to buy something.. and never will.  I have never insisted upon someone buying something.  I have certainly tried to do things for people I socialize with and have connected them to my mom's business..... but I have not done so at a significant gain, other than this being something that is part of my life and part of my role within my community.

4. I am certainly happy to not post pictures of things that are "for sale"... but I will post pictures of my kid.. and she may happen to be wearing some of the things I make for her.. or my mom makes for her... because, well, we love what we do and do it for fun and as a creative outlet...

When I post a picture of a bee hat or a leprechaun hat (which, yes, I referenced if anyone wanted one... because people had previously requested them NOT because we had to have business)  it is because I am proud of something fun that we made... and that we enjoy it.  NEVER has anyone been forced or encouraged to purchase a hat.

IF by posting here you believe that I have violated the rules of the bump... and if in fact I have... again I apologize.  But I will also say that we will still make things, have an etsy shop, etc, because my mom and my sister and I have been making things for years.

If people want things, you can always pm me.  A PM, NFT will always be answered.  You can always ask me for links to my Mom's shop.  I"m not here to be a walking yarn market... nor was I in the approximatley 6000 posts I made on this site before my mom started making monkey hats..... 

Thanks girls for your support.... but in the interest of the general peace of the bump world... just find me on facebook (I'm part of the fb group, etsy, pm me or email me).... but it looks like "public hat" talk is over.... booo hisss:)

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Re: If I have offended anyone...

  • I love you :0) . I hate that someone got bored & had to ruin all the fun.
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    Summer 2011
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  • I have to say that I think it is totally ridiculous that this conversation is being had at all.  Alice you shouldn't have to defend yourself at all.  I think the person who is calling this issue out is an a$$hat.  I wish there weren' a$$hats on our board all the sudden!

     

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  • Alice! I'm so sorry you had to write all that and even MORE sorry that you feel like you have to defend yourself. Goodness knows that we all love you (and your hat making abilities) and to be honest it never even crossed my mind that a line was being crossed. As you said, you've never come on here and asked for anyone to purchase anything. I don't think anything has to change because of just ONE person's post. Let that person be annoyed or whatever. As you said, Boo to them for ruining the fun of seeing cute babies in super adorable hats. From now on maybe they should just not open those posts if they don't want to read them you know? And most commonly those posts are just to YOU or just from you to one specific person so why are they worried about it?  Anyway, lots of love and hugs to you. We love you!

     

     

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  • What the hell is going on? Who said they were offended? You better tell me. I need to close out 2010 strong & my NY Rez is always to not be a raging b1tch so you better take advantage today! What happened? I don't like that your feelings sound hurt.
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  • I missed what happened, who is being a douche?  Your hats are awesome and I'm glad that if I'm going to get them it's through someone I know WHO HAS BEEN ON THIS BOARD FOR YEARS!
  • I can only speak for myself - but I've NEVER been offended. 

    I love your (and your Mom's) work.  In fact, I have a monkey hat on order right now.  I look forward to receiving it.
    I feel a sense of trust ordering it through someone on The Bump.

    In general   . .  . I don't think ANYONE on this board has been pushy to sell anything.

    Sorry you were singled out Sad  . . . I think the "tattletale" poster is a cowardly jealous person so try not to let her/him get you down.

     

  • whoever reported you is a giant DB Alice!
  • Well said Alice. This is why I have refrained from "soliciting" my hats. There are jerks on here who feel like there's nothing better on here than to start drama. FWIW, you have an awesome talent, and I think showcasing that talent shouldn't have to stop.
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  • imageburghbaby:

    I have to say that I think it is totally ridiculous that this conversation is being had at all.  Alice you shouldn't have to defend yourself at all.  I think the person who is calling this issue out is an a$$hat.  I wish there weren' a$$hats on our board all the sudden!

     

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  • See post from TattletalePolice (aka Bec&Elly) below. Dbag.
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  • I am offended by the lack of crochet vaginas on your Etsy page.

    So I created an AE and posted about it in the middle of the night :)

    You rock! 

    BFP#1 May 17, 2008
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  • Alice... please don't change.  I am not part of any FB group an it really makes my day when I come on here and see all these cuties in hats photos. It was never about "business" or money.... It was about goodness, love, happiness for our babies and sharing that among us who all been through losses and gratefulness.
  • imagelkstor:

    I am offended by the lack of crochet vaginas on your Etsy page.

    So I created an AE and posted about it in the middle of the night :)

    You rock! 

    lol! And boobie baby hats!

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  • You go girl. We love you and your sweet little hats.
    BFP #1- 1/16/09- Baby Ava stillborn at 32 weeks, possible cord accident, 7/30/09
    BFP #2- 1/5/10- Baby Jack born at 37w2d, 6lbs 13 oz, 8/24/10
    BFP #3- 7/30/11- Baby Boy Due April 3, 2012
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  • imagelil_rhody:
    imagelkstor:

    I am offended by the lack of crochet vaginas on your Etsy page.

    So I created an AE and posted about it in the middle of the night :)

    You rock! 

    lol! And boobie baby hats!

    Oh ha!  I remember the boobie hats... so funny.

  • It is ridic that you even had to post this.  Sorry for all the drama our new "friend" is causing.


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    BFP #1 - 3/19/09 - M/C  - 4/5/09 6 weeks 2 days
    BFP #2 - 7/1/09 - DD born 3/8/2010
    BFP #3 - 11/1/10 - chemical pregnancy
    BFP #4 - 1/2/11 - DS born 9/8/11
    BFP#5 - 7/13/13 - stick baby stick!  Due 4/24/14

  • WTF!?!?!  I obviously missed something big.  I'm sorry you had to write this Alice...it's all a bunch of BS if someone accused you of soliciting.  Everyone here who has bought a hat from you has initiated and solicited YOU!  And you keep right on posting pics of Harper in her adorable hats.  I'm just glad I have you on FB.  Sheesh...this post made me sad :(  At least you know we love you!

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  • imagesexyntexy:
    It is ridic that you even had to post this.  Sorry for all the drama our new "friend" is causing.

    THIS

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  • whoever turned you is LAME. Its not like you came "off the streets" and started peddling your stuff. Sorry you have to deal with this. Big hugs.

     

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    9 angels in heaven-3 in my arms and 1 in the NICU                                                                                                                                    
    Mono/di twin girls: Josephine born to heaven and Evangeline born Earthside at 25w

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  • People are ridiculous. We love you, and your moms hats. 
  • OMG, that is so lamesauce. Alice, I freakin love your hats and I never once EVER felt like you were soliciting here. We have all been paging you for months now to make them for us because the hats are so darn cute.

    I'm just so sorry you had to type all that and waste your time on a DB poster. Everything you typed is 100% right on.

    Love you, Alice and I will be ordering more hats!

    02/08 BFP resulted in m/c 4/10/08 (11 weeks)
    10/08 Clomid Cycle #1 = m/c 11/7/08 (6 weeks)
    03/09 Clomid Cycle #2 = BFN
    3 rounds of Femara + Ovidrel + IUI =BFN
    10/18/09 2nd Break Cycle (post HSG) before IVF #1 = BFP!

    ? The world thought I had it all, but I was waiting for you. ?
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  • I'm sorry you have to deal with some douce bag....however, just because they asked YOU to stop "soliciting"...which you weren't...doesn't mean we can't ask you about hats. Over on the photog board they call it "biology" so they aren't breaking the rules....so let's think of a clever name for you....
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  • I totally missed whatever is going on, but I'm so sorry someone was rude to you.  I love your hats and I want to get one for Z one of these days.  You and your mom are awesome and who ever said something to you is a total douchecanoe.
  • Wow. You've got to be kidding. What a fvcking douche. Just now saw the post. We love you and your precious hats. We'll just have to advertise for you now!

    Missed MC 1 - 11/21/2006 Missed MC 2 - 03/10/2008 BFP # 3 09/18/09 - Gabriel David born 05/11/2010 baby
  • I will only be offended if the cute hat pics disappear because of one cowardly douchecanoe.
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  • imageburghbaby:

    I have to say that I think it is totally ridiculous that this conversation is being had at all.  Alice you shouldn't have to defend yourself at all.  I think the person who is calling this issue out is an a$$hat.  I wish there weren' a$$hats on our board all the sudden!

     

    This completely!

    happy days are here to stay Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Damn them to H3ll!

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  • Whoever did whatever it is that they did is a jerk.  Period.  Those of us who have known you these last 2 years know that you aren't soliciting business. 
    Three losses in 2009; Boy/Girl twins born in 2010 image
  • Someone had way too much time on their hands! Us girls come to you about making us hats...you have never solicited your business!
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  • I'm still trying to catch up on all this cr*p that is going on and I don't like that someone attacked you Alice... It really pisses me off... that is all...
    BFP #1: 10/17/08 EDD: 6/24/09-missed m/c; d&c on 12/8/08 BFP #2: 11/7/09 EDD: 7/15/10-Cabe born on 7/9/10 BFP #3: 10/7/11 EDD: 6/20/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker A Butterfly lies beside us like a sunbeam and for a brief moment, its beauty and glory belong to our world. But then it flies on again. And though we wish it could have stayed we feel so lucky to have seen it. In loving memory of MrsTyson's precious Julia.
  • I have been MIA for a day or two, but I think what happened to you is terrible!!!  I personally LOVE your hats, and I have never felt that they were pushed on us.  I love that we all share ideas with each other.  My mom crochetes and knits my DD things, or I would totally purchase some.  Actually I LOVE the lamb one and may buy it for my next LO!  Anyway, keep up the posts and good work!

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  • I missed whatever is going on... but I have an etsy link too (even though my store is empty)  Your stuff is super cute!
  • I think seeing your hats made me want to learn to knit (and I just did!).  you started showing off hats after you had DD....after having a loss and going through the ttc/sal journey like the rest of us.  Sorry someone is harrassing you!  :-(
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