C-Section mama's come on in! — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

C-Section mama's come on in!

My DH and I had planned an all natural bradley birth. 12 weeks of classes and an entire pregnancy of preparation. Emma, had different plans. She was breech at 28 weeks and decided to stay that way until my bag of waters ruptured at 37 weeks and 2 days. I ended up having to have a c-section. I still find myself getting a little sad over this. :( My water broke at 2 and by 5:17am I had a baby. It happened so quickly. I love my cuddle bug to pieces and I wish I could just get over the fact that I had a c-section. Any of you have this problem after you had a c-section? Did you feel inadequate in any way?
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Re: C-Section mama's come on in!

  • I had a planned c/s based on est size.  (Est size was 9lb 13oz; K was born at 9lb 7oz.)  My plan from the beginning was delivering a healthy baby and I did just that.  The means in how it happened didn't matter to me, so no, I don't feel inadequate in any way. 
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  • I had a c/s with DS when his head got stuck in my pelvis. There was no other way to get him out, and he was stuck so bad that it took them quite awhile to get him out.

    With DD we planned the c/s - my hospital is anti-VBAC - so I knew it was coming.

     

    Both times I feel that I did exactly what I was supposed to. I grew a healthy babies and delivered them the safest way possible. 

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  • There is nothing wrong with having a c-section, I had one.  I was hoping to have a vaginal birth but DS wasn't taking to the med's for induction and i had to have an emergency c-section. i didn't care, do whats best for the baby.   Babies don't grow up to be any different then a child delivered vaginally.   I'm not being b!tchy, i just don't want you to beat yourself up over something like this.  It's too bad you didn't get the delivery you wanted, but just be glad you were able to deliver your baby in a healthy way.   
  • Try not to feel sad or inadequate.  Just be super happy that you have a happy, healthy baby now!

     I had planned on vaginal childbirth and labored for 12 hours and went to 5 cm dialted.  All of the sudden, Noah's HR dropped and would not stabilize. Within 15 minutes I was on the operating table and they were taking him via C-section.  I was scared to death of surgery of any sort but afterwards I was glad that they did whatever was needed to get him out healthy and safe!

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  • My baby would not come out after a whole days labor, and was sunny side up and stuck in my pelvis.  Like PP said, it was even hard for them to deliver him with a c-section. Not the ideal delivery, but I am happy that he is healthy and here! I think today women feel like they want to, need to, and should be able to control every aspect of delivery-but in reality, these babies have a lot more control and we should just give up that power. It really doesn't matter how your baby enters the world, but you love him just the same!  Don't let your feelings of how you delivered effect how you are enjoying your baby now.  There are no medals for motherhood, so just do the best you can!
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  • All of you are right. I couldn't be happier I have a healthy daughter. That's all that matters and I know that. I am frustrated for feeling this way, because I know it is irrational. :( I know that with time this feeling will pass. For now, I am going to ignore it and just enjoy my baby girl. Thanks for the comments. :)  
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  • I understand how you feel. I also planned to have a med free and natural delivery but was aware that I would accept any interventions necessary if my LO was in distress. I received a lot of support from the hospital staff for getting to 8cm with no meds, but when I developed a fever of 107 and the babies heart rate became elevated, I knew we had to act quickly and any "preferences" that I had beforehand went out the window. In the hours that followed, I felt inadequate as well but realized that I did what was best for my son.  
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  • At least you have the option of a VBAC next time... I planned an all natural birth, but had to have a c-section after 2 hours of pushing because an old pelvic injury had collapsed my pelvis so much that my LO couldn't pass through. 

    You are definitely justified in going through this grieving process. You'll find that a lot of people won't be sympathetic and tell you that you should just be happy that you and your LO are happy and healthy... but giving birth is a highly profound experience and it is often bittersweet.

    *hugs* 


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  • I had a scheduled c/s for 34 weeks because of major complications. DS was breech otherwise they may have tried it vaginally. I did what I had to do for the best interest of DS which was the c/s. I knew I didn't have the time or energy to care about my feelings because I needed him to be as healthy as possible so I sacrificed that for him and it was worth it
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  • I also had a section because LO was breech, but mine was scheduled.  I was terrified of a c-section but I in no way feel inadequate and honestly I loved my experience and am in a way happy that my future pregnancies will also end in planned c-sections.

    I think modern science/medicine is amazing and I'm grateful that my LO and I both  made it through safely!  I don't worry about it being "unnatural" because if you think about it all of modern medicine is "unnatural"..  I'm just grateful it exists.

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  • I understand where you are coming from, but i dont think inadequate is the right word. I dont feel like i didnt do my job, or im not able to do my job later on as a mother because i had a c section. I just feel sad at times that i didnt get to have that experience of a vaginal birth. I dont know what it feels like to push a baby out and have that final release when he made it out and everything is all over. I watch all those "bringing home baby" shows on TLC and every.single.time i see a vaginal birth i get teary eyed. But at the same time, i was overdue, tired, and ready to have a baby, but he didnt want to come out. (it was unplaned EMERG c-section) So in general, i dont feel inadequate, but i feel sad that i didnt get that "moment" 

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  • Come see us on the VBAC board. Even if you don't want to have a VBAC in the future, we've all had C Sections and many of us share your feelings on our birth experiences.
  • I've gone through similar feelings however, it wasn't that I felt inadequate.  I felt cheated out of labor and the accomplishment of actually delivering my child.  I realize that my child will not be any different based on the fact that I had a C-Section.

    My story is this.  My water broke at 1:30 - or I thought it did.  I went in to the hospital to be tested to see if it in deed had broken.  They ran tests found my water had broke and began to admit me.  (At this point I was only in the triage unit to determine if labor had started)  I wasn't even having any true contractions, just mini ones.  I felt tightening, sorta like BH.  As I was answering standard admission questions DS heart rate dropped off and they couldn't get it stabilized.  Next thing I know I'm being whisked away to the OR. I didn't even have time to get used to the idea that I would have a CS.  It was happening! 

     I, too, had red books, gone to classes, did special Yoga, listened to CDs, and had my birthing mix all set on my iPod.  I was READY!  DS had different plans.  I'm tankful every day that the doctors and staff were able to get him out safely, but I do feel as if I wasn't involved at ALL!  I just laid there after all.  

    I feel this more so because this will be our only child and I'll never get to experience child birth (vaginally).  Something I've always looked forward to.  Oh well.  As we know, life doesn't always work the way we want it.

  • I also had a natural birth planned and am very upset and disappointed that I ended up getting a C section. I'm happy LO is healthy and I did it for him, but that doesn't change the fact that I still wish for the natural, unmedicated experience. People will tell you to just be thankful your baby is okay, but it's alright to be upset and doesn't make you less of a loving mommy. Hugs to you :)
  • image Sarahhhlynn:

    I understand where you are coming from, but i dont think inadequate is the right word. I dont feel like i didnt do my job, or im not able to do my job later on as a mother because i had a c section. I just feel sad at times that i didnt get to have that experience of a vaginal birth. I dont know what it feels like to push a baby out and have that final release when he made it out and everything is all over. I watch all those "bringing home baby" shows on TLC and every.single.time i see a vaginal birth i get teary eyed. But at the same time, i was overdue, tired, and ready to have a baby, but he didnt want to come out. (it was unplaned EMERG c-section) So in general, i dont feel inadequate, but i feel sad that i didnt get that "moment" 

     

    I feel the same way 

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  • I was upset about my whole experience for a while. I had to be induced at 37 weeks, so LO was too early in my head. Then it turned into a c-section and I flipped out. I screamed throughout most of the surgery. My guy ended up being tiny [4lb 12oz], and I felt like I failed at being pregnant and giving birth. At about 5 weeks PP, I decided it was OK. He just needed me to take care of him outside instead of in my belly. And he didn't want me to have mangled lady bits from his big head. I don't ever have to wonder if everything down there really does go back to normal after giving birth, because I never squeezed anything out.
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  • Okay, I know that all of you are saying inadequate is the wrong word, but that's exactly how I felt as well. I had also planned a med-free birth, and ended up with a c/s after 26 hours of labor after my water broke. I could not get over the fact that I had a c/s. I felt like my body had failed me and that I had failed Piper. It was my job to give birth to her, but instead, someone had to take birth from me. I didn't care so much about missing that "moment" or not having H cut the cord, or missing her first bath etc, but I could not get over not being able to labor. We also had latching issues from day 1 and on day 3 I got a terrible breast infection and couldn't feed her b/c I was so engorged. I felt like an inadequate mother. I couldn't labor to have her, and now I couldn't even feed her. It was the most terrible feeling ever. I spent most of the first week with a 104 degree fever, hooked up to a pump, crying my eyes out while my mother took care of my baby. I will never get that first week back, and it breaks my heart. So while I don't feel inadequate b/c of having to abandon a med-free birth, I did struggle with feeling like an adequate mother.

    OP- I totally get where you are right now, and if you need to chat, I'm here, you can PM me. I do have to tell you, that I feel a lot different now 3 weeks out. I did go to see a therapist, and spoke with my OB about how I was feeling and both of those helped a ton. I really hope that you start to come to terms with it, and I'm sorry you are going through this.

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  • image Jb&Jb:
    Come see us on the VBAC board. Even if you don't want to have a VBAC in the future, we've all had C Sections and many of us share your feelings on our birth experiences.

    Def. going to do this. I am happy there are other out there who can resonate with me. I think a lot of my sadness also stems from the fact that I laid on a table an hour after she was born getting stitched up. She was with her daddy, wide eyed and bushy tailed. I missed her first bath, her alertness.....she didn't get to see me when she first came out. My family was waiting for her in recovery and got to spend more time with her than I did. I can remember laying on the table, asking every 5 minutes, if I was almost done. I got to see my baby girl for a few minutes, enough time for a photo op, and she was whisked away. Vaginal deliveries normally allow a woman to go through a slew of emotions. You are in prelabor, active labor, transition, etc, and each of these comes with their own emotions.... and then you meet your baby. I didn't even have time to feel a real contraction. I don't want to sit here and act like "poor me, blah, blah" but I do think it's okay for me to have my time to grieve a bit over it. I understand how inadequate can be the wrong word but earlier this week it's how I felt. We started having problems breastfeeding, and all I could think was GREAT! I had a C-Section and now baby is having a hard time latching! Thanks for sharing your experiences with me. :)

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  • Maybe not inadequate but sad...we went in for an induction at 39w 3d due to LO being estimated at 9+ pounds and serious hip and pelvic pain (I was at the point I couldn't walk the last 2-3 weeks of my pregnancy), also we live 1 1/2-2 hours to the hospital where we would deliver. Never in my mind did I think I'd end up with a C-Section.

    We went in Tuesday the 14th and started the meds to ripen things, after fours hours I'd not progressed so we started pit. Meds off/on until 1pm the next afternoon before they let me get off the monitors and shower and would try again. After lunch they started the pit again and we tried to nap, about an hour into that the nurse came in to say they were having a very hard time monitoring LO and they'd have to stop the pit if they couldn't keep her on and they couldn't increase it either to start contractions unless she could stay on the monitor. 

    Around 9pm that night I was in terrible pain, being in the bed for 24+ hours and having to lay on my side my hips were very sore. Dr came to check...still no progress and LO was up VERY high. So he suggested a C-Section. 

    I cried and cried, thought about it for a few hours, asked if I could try and his honest opinion was she was not coming down and with her size and my hip pain would probably not make it out anyhow but he'd be willing to let me labor for 2-3 more days if I'd like. We decided to take the C-Section to make sure she was alright due to the monitors not staying on.

    BEST choice we could have ever made, turns out LO's cord was wrapped numerous times around her neck and she was so high that it took them a very long time to get her out. It was scary, but in the end, our baby is healthy and perfect in every way. 

    Yes, I'm sad I couldn't deliver her myself. Especially when I see others being able to, but I'm glad she's safe in my arms and that we made the best choice for her health.

    PS: LO was only 6.5lbs...no clue where the 9lbs est came from. :O)

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  • I totally know how you feel and trust me it gets better. I cried for days and days because I had to have a c/s. We too planned a med free birth and went through all the classes. My LO was face up and would not come down enough to put enough pressure on my cervix to make it dilate. I got to 8 cm without an epidural when I was told we had to do a c/s because my water had been broken for 24hours + and things were not progressing. I felt cheated our of the birth I wanted. I thought I would never get over it but time helped me realize that the only thing that matters is LO is here and she is healthy. There is no way she was going to come out on her own. I hope to try for a VBAC in the future.
  • I know exactly how you feel!  I wanted to experience labor naturally, have my water break, go through contractions and have a vaginal birth, but I developed preeclampsia at week 38 and had to be induced.  I was okay with that, since I'd still have a vaginal birth, but LO showed signs of distress and I was wheeled away for an emergency c-section. 

    Not only was the c-section a horrible experience for me and my husband, but it was so soul crushing for me.  I really wanted to experience child birth the proper way!  LO is only 9 days old and when I think about the way it all went down it still brings tears to my eyes.  I like watching baby shows and when I see mothers having their babies naturally it makes me feel worse.  (I stopped watching those shows, hahaha).  But yeah, I totally get where you're coming from.  

  • I do not feel inadequate
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  • I don't think inadequate is a word I would use. However I did feel cheated in a way when i had my C-section. I have two previous children and I delivered them vaginally without a problem. I was looking forward to a new experience as I had planned on no drugs and to do this recent delivery finally with the comfort of my own doctor and my husband and no one else. I ended up going to the ER on the 11th about 10 in the evening due to my Zoey not moving around like she should. I can't explain the feeling, but I knew something wasn't right. I was four days past my due date and more than ready to have her. Within being there about 20 minutes I was informed that she was showing severe signs of distress and we needed her out. At 11:06 she was here due to an emergency C-section and she spent a week in the NICU due to it as well. I still am sad that I could not have the delivery I wanted to and I feel that the C-section was why i had to go a week without my baby at home with me. In the end though, I am happy she was brought into this world as safely as she can be and that she is now at home with me and my husband. I did not get my delivery option, I didn't have my own doctor and I wasn't even in my own hospital that I knew so well. But the overall result is what matters to me.
  • this honestly is not meant to sound snarky - but i really dont understand those who get so bent out of shape about their birth plan not working out and ending up with a c-section. nothing with babies is predictable, so how could labor and delivery be? i can understand having a plan and using it as a guide - but things rarely go as planned the way i see it. i just dont understand getting so upset about it after the fact. its not the end of the world. the goal through all of this is to have a healthy baby... so does it really matter how they got here? he/she is in your arms afterall, and thats what you waited all this time for!

    im not meaning to sound snarky at all. just trying to give some perspective and share my opinion that i just really dont get it.

    anyway - to answer your question, i figured i would have a typical vaginal delivery in a hospital and i planned on having an epidural. my gut feeling was that i would go late. i didnt write a birth plan because i am a go-with-the-flow kind of person and i knew that it could change either because it had to or because i might change my mind. by the end of my pregnancy my bump was ENORMOUS especially for my size, and i was in a lot of pain. people constantly thought i was having twins and honestly i cant blame them. my stomach stuck straight out. i went up a size in maternity clothes and still could not find shirts long enough to cover my bump. i had gestational diabetes and LO was measuring HUGE. at 36 weeks 5 days she measured 8 1/2 pounds. i am 5 foot 1 and normally 115-120lbs with a pretty petite frame. i could barely get around. and i was still working. they ran a CSS screening which takes my measurements and LO's measurements and other factors (weight gain, GD, blood pressure, and others) and come up with a risk factor for shoulder dystocia. the screening placed me in the very high risk category (in 2 years i was only the 4th patient to be placed in this category at my doctors office). so i had a scheduled c-section at 38 weeks. she was 9 lbs 3 oz and 21 inches. they had difficulty getting her out even with a c-section. we are all pretty sure that there is no way i would have been able to vaginally deliver her. so do i feel inadequate? no. i did my job. i carried her and gave her everything she needed for 9 months and she was delivered safely. 


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  • image piglet6609:

    this honestly is not meant to sound snarky - but i really dont understand those who get so bent out of shape about their birth plan not working out and ending up with a c-section. nothing with babies is predictable, so how could labor and delivery be? i can understand having a plan and using it as a guide - but things rarely go as planned the way i see it. i just dont understand getting so upset about it after the fact. its not the end of the world. the goal through all of this is to have a healthy baby... so does it really matter how they got here? he/she is in your arms afterall, and thats what you waited all this time for!

    im not meaning to sound snarky at all. just trying to give some perspective and share my opinion that i just really dont get it.

    anyway - to answer your question, i figured i would have a typical vaginal delivery in a hospital and i planned on having an epidural. my gut feeling was that i would go late. i didnt write a birth plan because i am a go-with-the-flow kind of person and i knew that it could change either because it had to or because i might change my mind. by the end of my pregnancy my bump was ENORMOUS especially for my size, and i was in a lot of pain. people constantly thought i was having twins and honestly i cant blame them. my stomach stuck straight out. i went up a size in maternity clothes and still could not find shirts long enough to cover my bump. i had gestational diabetes and LO was measuring HUGE. at 36 weeks 5 days she measured 8 1/2 pounds. i am 5 foot 1 and normally 115-120lbs with a pretty petite frame. i could barely get around. and i was still working. they ran a CSS screening which takes my measurements and LO's measurements and other factors (weight gain, GD, blood pressure, and others) and come up with a risk factor for shoulder dystocia. the screening placed me in the very high risk category (in 2 years i was only the 4th patient to be placed in this category at my doctors office). so i had a scheduled c-section at 38 weeks. she was 9 lbs 3 oz and 21 inches. they had difficulty getting her out even with a c-section. we are all pretty sure that there is no way i would have been able to vaginally deliver her. so do i feel inadequate? no. i did my job. i carried her and gave her everything she needed for 9 months and she was delivered safely. 

    This doesn't sound snarky at all. No worries!! :)

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  • image Mrs.Reyna2008:


     I think a lot of my sadness also stems from the fact that I laid on a table an hour after she was born getting stitched up. She was with her daddy, wide eyed and bushy tailed. I missed her first bath, her alertness.....she didn't get to see me when she first came out. My family was waiting for her in recovery and got to spend more time with her than I did. I can remember laying on the table, asking every 5 minutes, if I was almost done. I got to see my baby girl for a few minutes, enough time for a photo op, and she was whisked away. Vaginal deliveries normally allow a woman to go through a slew of emotions. You are in prelabor, active labor, transition, etc, and each of these comes with their own emotions.... and then you meet your baby. I didn't even have time to feel a real contraction. I don't want to sit here and act like "poor me, blah, blah" but I do think it's okay for me to have my time to grieve a bit over it. I understand how inadequate can be the wrong word but earlier this week it's how I felt. We started having problems breastfeeding, and all I could think was GREAT! I had a C-Section and now baby is having a hard time latching! Thanks for sharing your experiences with me. :)

     

    I felt this exactly. I was going natural and didn't get an epi...it was an emergency C section, so I had to be under general anesthesia because there wasn't time to give me a spinal. I didn't get to meet my son until the day after his bday, when he was over 3 hours old. At this point I was so drugged up that I don't even remember the moment, and I had surgical complications that prevented my milk from coming in for 10 days. It sucks and I'm sorry you had to experience it as well. Don't let anyone tell you your feelings about this aren't valid. Hopefully I will be seeing you on the VBAC board soon.

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