ugh FIL vent (BFing related)
so we are on a family vacation with DHs extended family. we're at a timeshare so there are several units all around that various family members are staying in. we leave all our doors open and most of the time we gather in several of the rooms on that are on the 1st floor.
Anyway i was in DH's grandmother's unit with a couple of his family members an was nursing DS.
FIL walks in with several of DH's relatives, saw me nursing (i wasnt covered but there was nothing to see, b/c i had a nursing tank on under a heavy sweatshirt). he got all flustered and said "no men should be in here" and made all the men behind him leave the room. I tried to explain that I don't care who's around, that if anyone is uncomfortable they can leave, but i personally don't care (if i cared, i wouldnt do it in a public place).
no one really heard me so now i feel like all the men think they have to avoid/leave a room if i am nursing DS
and what's strange is FIL has been in the room before when i've been nursing, and he didnt even realize, so now whenever he sees me holding DS in a cradle position he assumes i'm nursing. so he knows i don't care who's around when i nurse - which makes me wonder if he thinks i shouldnt nurse in front of them. (again i always make sure i'm covered up. sometimes i use my nursing cover if its available, especially if the teenage boys are around, but otherwise i make sure to cover myself as much as possible when latching on/off)
sorry this is long i'm just so annoyed. there are other issues with FIL that i won't go into that i am sure are contributing to my mood about it.
Re: ugh FIL vent (BFing related)
i totally understand and respect if a man is uncomforable about NIP - then they can leave, but dont make every man in the room leave! and since he's myFIL it looks to the others as if he is saying it on my behalf, so now everyone is afraid to enter a room for "fear" that i am nursing and would be embarrassed by their presence!
I agree, it's so nice being over here where it's pretty well excepted. I nursed DD all over Paris and no one cared.
"So close while nursing!" This comment that the PP endured made me spit out my tea. Seriously? What, do they think they are going to catch your breastfeeding cooties?
I am beginning to understand why people become lactivists. This kind of behavior really just wants me to whip it out wherever and whenever, just to show people that feeding my baby is not wrong.
I have no problem NIP, but I'm not completely comfortable around my husband's family so I either bring her a bottle or go to another room. But I don't need people speaking on my behalf.
I have no advice, but wanted to share a similar story.
At Ada's birthday party I was nursing at the back of the room, sort of away from the party, so she wouldn't be distracted. My brother and father were sitting at the opening of that part of the room. My nine year old friend* headed back to talk to me. My brother told him he couldn't go back, just as my father yelled to tell me he was coming back, presumably so I would stop or cover up.
I laughed and told him to come talk to me, explaining to everyone else that not only has he seen his mother nurse, but has seen me nurse also. They were horrified.
* his mother is one of my closest friends. Since he was two he made it very clear that I am his friend too, so I am not allowed to refer to him as a friend's child, I am to call him my friend
DH and his family are like this... I told DH I will be respectful at their houses, but in my house it is my rules. I don't want my children growing up with the same attitude about NIP as DH has...
When we were little my mother would leave the room, but only for the comfort of those around her, not her own. I know it is where my comfort/ attitude came from.
Sorry your FIL has all of those people thinking you are not okay with it.