I lost my mom on new years and its so painful. I'm sure the pregnancy doesn't help. I'm home alone so that doesn't make it better. It has gotten easier to deal with but accepting it seems weird. It wasn't expected. I spoke with her new years eve and I got the call new years early morning that she passed. She was fine when we spoke. Who thinks they will loose their love one especially their mother.
If you have a mother, even if you don't get along, please find a way to overlook their imperfections. I would give anything to have her here with me. It hurts so bad. She made blankets for all of my children and this one won't have one from her.
I'm just venting as there isn't anyone here to vent to. My SO is traveling and my kids had plans today which is fine. Hopefully the new year will bring everyone something good (well the babies born definitely is good). And maybe we can learn to love a little harder to those that hurt us, even if we have to love from a distance.
Just writing this made me feel better. Hopefully it stays this way.
Re: Trying to enjoy the new year but...