When does it become normal again?

Beanin · December 2010

Life that is. I know things will never be exactly the same with a LO but I feel really left out out life. I rarely see my friends. People don't call me anymore. I'm never invited anywhere.

I feel lonely.

Violet_McPurpleson · December 2010

I think it's when you make new friends that are at the same stage of life. We're dealing with the same issues. It seems a lot of the board is. You are not alone.

redjetta22 · December 2010

I'm sorry. Sad

This is uncharted territory for me so I dont know.

RunningWife · December 2010

It's rough. But we have some friend who already have kids, so that helps.

We also have friends who are expecting currently, so they'll be where we are soon.

I also make an effort to leave DS every once in a while with his dad or my mom and will enjoy an evening with one of my single girlfriends. No, I can't stay out until 2am and get plastered, but at least I enjoy the company for awhile...

It sucks, but your life IS different now. In time,as you get involved in different groups and activities with your LO, you will make NEW friends.

UnderAtree · December 2010

I'm in the same boat. Once I told my friends I had a BFP they ran in the other direction.

FancyFeet10 · December 2010

Don't worry, you're not alone. :-)

Do you think maybe your friends are afraid to call b/c they don't want to disturb you/the baby? I know this was the case with my friends. They didn't want my phone to ring and wake her up or me if I was lucky enough to be napping.

TheSkimmy · December 2010

Just think- when your friends come around to having a baby your's will be a little older and you will be out and about- they will be in your shoes. It does get a little better when you get into your new life. I joined a mom's club and I have lots of friends in similar situations now. Hang out at the library and parks... that's where the moms are!

anvloveskme · December 2010

DH and I are "older" - I am 31 and he is 38, so we have a lot of friends that are married with kids, but my 4 closest girl friends are all unmarried and do not have children. As far as social life, I don't know that it will ever be the same as before we had a child. DH and I used to go to happy hour pretty much EVERY friday without a care in the world, and we rarely do that now. We have decided to make an effort for me to get out and do that at least once per month with my girlfriends, and that has been nice. As far as just feeling like you are able to deal with every day type things, I can say for me, around the 5 month mark I began to feel like I was really getting the hang of this whole motherhood thing, DD started sleeping better, which means I am sleeping better and just feeling generally good about things now.

) GL!

RitaT22 · December 2010

You are definitely not alone. Like another pp said, once I got my BFP my friends stopped calling. I am the first (and still only) of my friends to be married and have a child. I sometimes feel like I don't connect with them much and that we don't have a lot in common in anymore. I definitely need to find a mom's club so that I can find other mommy friends.

VABride2008 · December 2010

Unfortunately, you will quickly discover who your true friends are. We've become closer with our friends that do have kids and become more distant with those that don't; with the exception of a few couples. There's a few good friends who still hang out with us even when we have the baby and they aren't just worried about getting plastered. If you've made an effort to stay friends with people and they aren't giving you a time of day, I'd say it's time to move on because they aren't worth your time.

MommaEm · December 2010

It gets better, I was 19 when I got pregnant with DS, and had him at 20. I was the first one of my friends to get married and have a baby, it was hard..I don't think I really started making friend until I started workin again. I would go to mommy groups but was always the youngest one there and never made friends that way. I moved when DS was 2.5 and had to make friends all over again, now ALL of my friends have kids so we have many playdates every week. I promise, it gets better!!

Kaidee0710 · December 2010

Violet_McPurpleson:
I think it's when you make new friends that are at the same stage of life. We're dealing with the same issues. It seems a lot of the board is. You are not alone.

all our friends were soo excited about have DD around before she was born. DD was an extremely hard baby the first 3.5 months so we really couldnt do much and our friends just kinda stopped calling and inviting us places. We have one couple that we hang out with they are our age and TTC and LOVE DD... sometimes DH and Iget a little down when we hear about all the fun old friends are having but like pp said when you have an LO you kinda have to make sure the friends you have are in the same stage of life as you because otherwise they just dont understand ya know. Its not easy to go out every weekend with a 5mth old. LOL

hlashley · December 2010

"A man with friends must show himself friendly."

I say that because our friends didn't call so much after DD was born, other than at first wanting to see her. When she was about 2 months we decided to make the effort on our side and it turned out our friends were still there, they just didn't want to bother us as a pp mentioned. So after some effort on our part we're hanging out again and our friends call (or rather in our case, text). Yes, some friends may be lame and drop when you have a kid, but I wouldn't want a fickle friend like that. And we don't hang out every weekend but we just take DD with us when we do or we have people over. Life changes when you have a baby - that's a good thing, otherwise we'd all still be Jr. Highers who think the world revolves around us. But being isolated is not part of that change.

Also, some new mama friends can be a lot of fun too!

haleybeth81 · December 2010

I have had to find all new friends since having kids because people without kids don't really get it. I do have some really good old friends that will hang out now and then but mostly I see my new mom friends. I recommend MOPS and a moms group, it really saved my sanity.

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