Stay at Home Moms
ZooCrewMom
member
When did you tell your manager you weren't coming back?
ZooCrewMom
member
Hello Everyone,
I'm just a few days shy of 8 weeks pregnant with our first child. Needless to say we are excited - I just heard a heartbeat today!
My husband and I hope that I'll be able to be a full time stay at home mother. I've already started worrying about how to tell my manager I'm not returning after my maternity leave. I work for a great company, so I'm sure they will be supportive of my maternity leave but it just seems like an awkward situation.
I'd love to hear how it worked for other mothers. What would you have done differently? Was it easier or harder than you expected?
Thanks!
Margaux
Proud Mom to the ZooCrew - Jack 3 years old and Joey 21 months.
Excited and delighted to welcome the 3rd member of the ZooCrew in 2015! We can't wait to meet you Matthew Henry!
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Re: When did you tell your manager you weren't coming back?
I went back to work after my DS was born. I intended on returning to work in some capacity after DD was born but it didn't work out and I decided to SAH. About 6 weeks into my maternity leave, I continued talks with my job about possibe part time, etc. When it became clear that my hours/job/child care wasn't going to line up, my DH and I looked into it being financially feasible for me to stay home (which I always wanted to do anyway). As soon as we made the decision (about 8 weeks into my maternity leave) I called my work and let them know. I did NOT want to milk the rest of my maternity leave pay once I knew I was definitely staying home. My work was great and they actually paid it out to me anyway and told me that I was welcome back at any time.
My suggestion is that if you are SURE you are going to SAH, be honest before maternity leave. If you think you might go back, take maternity leave and tell them as soon as you are sure. In my case, it was difficult because I loved my job but I really love staying home. I want to keep my relationship with them positive in case I ever go back!
you are going to have two different mindsets replying to your post.
One set is going to say- 'tell as soon as you know' and the other 'wait until ML is over because you never know what will happen' (or something along those lines).
Me personally- i am in the first group.
I knew I wasn't going to come back after baby was born- at least not in the capacity that i was working. I was upfront with my company. I told them I would be willing to work up until my due date- and then offered to enter into a consulting arrangement with them. Almost 3 yrs later- I still consult on all of their international tax projects and I am my own boss. Being upfront with them was in my mind the most professional thing to do- I knew I wanted to continue working with them and if I screwed them over it would only hurt my chances- as well as women in general in the future.
I'd love to go back, but I look at my current job which requires 80 percent travel and I know its not feasible. I hope they can alter my position in some capacity, so I can come back in some way but I'm not sure how it will work out.
My maternity leave will be unpaid, so I'm not concerned over getting additional money from the company. I'm still very uncertain how I'll feel once the baby is born, which may be what I share with my manager. Maybe I'll want to go back? I don't think that will be the case but I guess I won't know for certain until then.
I think it is very possible you might want to go back. I was leaning towards SAH, but someone very wise told me not to make any decisions until I had to. My H wanted me to SAH, but more importantly wanted me to be happy, so the decision was mine.
I did get paid maternity leave and discussed options with my HR person. She told me "Listen you have worked here for 7 years, you earned this. Take your time"
I really went back and forth about going back and didn't decide to SAH until literally a week before I was scheduled to go back. I absolutely see why people want to go back and am very glad I didn't make any decisions before I had to. I am still on great terms with my old job, in fact they had offered me a PT position but by then I was pg with #2
GL to you!
DS 3.12.08
DD 7.11.09
DD 8.01.13
I left my job in mid-August and gave my final notice in early June. I wanted to give them time to hire someone new and offered to help train my replacement as some of my tasks were only done by me.
They knew I was not coming back not long after I revealed I was pregnant. While I loved my job, my commute was 45 minutes one way and daycare would have taken my paycheck anyway. Plus, we were moving DD#1 to a school closer to our home so that is why I left in August instead of sticking around until October.
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05
I told them at 1 month PP. I was really glad I waited that time. I wasn't 100% sure what I wanted to do after LO was here. Even though I resigned on maternity leave, I didn't leave on bad terms as I offered to help them recruit my replacement from home (I work in HR) and also offered to come in to help train. It wasn't like I left them high and dry. Luckily, there was someone covering for my position who ended up accepting the job so it worked out perfectly and there was no gap in coverage.
I know the ethical thing to tell before you go out, but what if you SAH and completely hate it? What if DH loses his job or becomes unable to work near the end of your pregnancy or while you're on maternity leave? Maybe you'll want to go back to the company you work for on a part time basis? Plans change all the time. I'd wait until you've survived some of your maternity leave to make an official plan especially since you seem to like where you work.
Best wishes with whatever you decide and congrats on the pregnancy!
I had actually planned to continue to work. I went back for 2 months after my leave. I guess it was just rougher than we had anticipated. Firstly, the cost of daycare was crazy (we did know what it was going to be ahead of time, but to actually get there sucked), plus this baby was just waaaay more needy than my first. Them upping my hours was the final straw. It was a combination of multiple factors really.
In your case, it depends on where you work. Some say to say upfront, but depending upon where you work, that may be a flat out stupid move. If you're in an at-will state, they could just lay you off, or your employer could find another reason to fire you. It's easy to do and it happens all the time. Hopefully you work some place nicer and more family friendly, but only you know that.
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder