Community› The Bump Message Boards› Toddlers: 24 Months+
Toddlers: 24 Months+
New Discussion
Options

temper tantrum- WWYD?

JLK483JLK483 member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
We were at my parents' house the other night w/ my 2 year old. Family friends were over w/ their two younger kids (10 and 7). I told my son is was almost time to leave and he had a couple more minutes. After a few minutes, I went to him and said time to go. He immediately started screaming so I picked him up. I tried to give him a few choices or change the subject like show the kids your new shoes, etc. He continued to scream. I basically ignored him and just tried to get his jacket on. At this point he was hysterical. My dad thinks he's spoiled and there should be punishment and said this wasn't acceptable. What should I have done? I guess someone else said their kid would've been in big trouble if they did that. I thought I just did the right thing by ignoring him and making him leave and not giving in. Should I have yelled at him or disciplined him? TIA...I have to post and run, but I'll be back! Any suggestions on preventing this or is this a 2 year old phase?
Report Reply to Post

Re: temper tantrum- WWYD?

  • Options
    JLK483JLK483 member
    Here's another instance (maybe I just don't have any control??) I told DS the pizza guy would be here soon. He started screaming at the door. I guess I shouldn't have told him, but I did. Well I just tried to ignore him and not feed the fit. So then I removed him from the living room and sat him in his room and told him when's done crying to come out. Well he continued to scream and only got more upset, hitting the ground w/ his legs. I gave him 5 minutes and he only got more worked up. So I went in and told him it was bathtime and asked for him to help give his brother a bath. He loves bathtime. He just continued to cry. So what do you do? Super Nanny?! haha. What book should I read to help me? I'm ashamed to admit I'm an elementary school teacher!!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    jaejaeveejaejaevee

    We struggle with this a lot.  My dad is a behaviorist and he seems to think that they way we are handling it (similar to the way you do) is a good route.  He has assured me over and over again that this is totally normal for the age. 

    I asked him the other day if these temper tantrums mean we suck as parents because they are totally traumatic for me.

    {Chaos and Love}
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Options
    didi1078@aol.comdidi1078@aol.com

    We usually have at least 1 good tantrum a day....today it was over a gogurt....My dad claims when he babysits he is fine until I get there. 2 yo are not rational  and highly emotional .... It is hard to figure out how to deter then from doing this. Today I sat in the bathroom and cried....so i guess i am emotional too!! Ha!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    JLK483JLK483 member
    Thanks! Glad to know I'm not alone! My son is very strong willed and will not give in which makes it so much harder. It just drives me crazy when others act like their child never threw fits- I think they were just lucky if they didn't!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    theganthegan

    My mom has also been telling me I'm not disciplining him enough (we do time outs, she believes in spanking) and that he only acts like that when I'm around.  I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one hearing this cuz it drives me crazy! 

    I've been doing the same things you're doing: leaving the situation, allowing him time to calm down in his room, ignoring, etc.  Sometimes these things work, sometimes they don't.  DS has been sick lately, so it's been extra horrible, and as pp said I've been brought to tears multiple times!  lol 

    Report Reply
  • Options
    chatty6176chatty6176 member
    Our DS is just like this...sooooo strong willed and stubborn. We ignore and let him have his tantrum or redirect if it works.  And it's really only for me...he's good for everyone else. I think grandparents forget that we did this as kids...they block it out. Keep strong. I know it's a common complaint of many of my kids with toddlers.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    squishysgalsquishysgal member
    Sounds age appropriate and parenting appropriate. Tell your dad if he had been a perfect parent then you wouldn't suck so much. That shut my parents up :) haha Honestly, you need to do what feels right for you and your LO, but we parent similar to you. I don't give in and I don't "punish." (Keep in mind, I once sang all 100 bottles of beer off the wall while DD SCREAMED in the back seat. I got to number 6 and she started begging me to stop, so I may not be the ideal person to take advice from.)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    iluvbillynollieiluvbillynollie member
    Oh my gosh- this totally sounds like my DD. I cried today after picking her up from daycare, because all she does is constantly change her mind, whine, tantrum about anything that doesn't go her way, and when I asked her what she did today she kept saying "leave me alone!" I have no clue when or where she learned that phrase. I blamed my crying on my preggo hormones, but this stage seems so hard to me. I feel like my parents are always judging or making comments about how I never did that or she only does it when we are around.  And all my friends with similar age kids act like their kids are so great and never have fits- I feel like we have the bad child and are always being judged. But maybe I am paranoid. I feel like I am much more of a baby person, not so much a toddler person. She is really taking it out of me lately.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Options
    didi1078@aol.comdidi1078@aol.com

     And all my friends with similar age kids act like their kids are so great and never have fits- I feel like we have the bad child and are always being judged. But maybe I am paranoid. I feel like I am much more of a baby person, not so much a toddler person. She is really taking it out of me lately.

     

    One of our friends asked us if  talked to our doctor about his behavior.... So we are totally the parents of the kid who is "bad" . It is a tough phrase that i cant wait to get out of ...

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    LucyPevensieLucyPevensie member
    Your son is two.  He's acting like a normal two year old - full of emotion and giant feelings and short on ability to communicate and understand why things can't happen exactly the way he'd like them to.  Your dad is wrong.  The best thing to do is stay calm, acknowledge your child's anger in a kind way, saying "I know you feel very angry and upset.  But we do have to leave.  I'm sorry you're so sad."  This - while picking your child up and getting their coat on and doing your best to get out the door.  Punishment would be creepy and out of line.  Emotional outbursts = two year olds.  It's OK to actually empathize with your two year old - he's a real person with real feelings - but very little self control and a normal, short two year old fuse.  Not everything has to be about discipline and correction and punishment.  You're doing fine. 
    Wheee!
    image

    "When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame

    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    JLK483JLK483 member
    Thanks for the reassurance! I thought that I handled it just fine. I would've been in the wrong had I just let him play longer once he threw the fit. I didn't see any other option than just letting him cry and leaving. There was no reasoning w/ him. oh well!  I just need to get over others' opinions! Thanks again!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"