To postpone or no...

JennaAmalie18 · December 2010

Hi ladies. I'm in need of your advice/perspective. I'm wondering how many of you tried to "plan" TTC around life events (weddings, vacations, school, work, etc)?

DH and I recently started TTC. We are on cycle 2 and I think/hope I will be ovulating next week (just started charting this month). Recently we've been asked to be the MOH and Best Man in our friend's wedding (my good friend is marrying DH's good friend). My DH and I are the only two people in the wedding party as it is going to be a small/intimate wedding. If I were to get pregnant during this cycle my estimated due date is pretty much right on their wedding date (Sep. 24).

So...I am torn. Do I postpone TTC for one month to avoid being due on their wedding? I realize there are so many factors that go into this...who knows if I would get pregnant this cycle anyway, due dates are rarely accurate, etc.

I've heard that you should not plan TTC around life events, especially other's life events, BUT I'm am sure people do it anyway for many different reasons. The thing is, I didn't think postponing for a month would be a big deal, it's just a month...but now that I am in the middle of TTC emotionally it feels wrong to not try.

Thoughts? Have you been in a similar situation where you postponed for a month or so?

jb2rn · December 2010

For ME personally: no, I would not post pone. However, I am 34 and my husband is in the military. It means moving every few years, deployments sometimes, etc. So I have learned to not wait. And, I honestly (naiive me) thought I would be pregnant by now.

If you are young, no known medical issues, and it's important to you to attend these events, I can see waiting a few months. It just would not be my choice at this point in my life, I feel we have waited long enough.

mljohnson · December 2010

personally I wouldn't do it (postpone), but you do what you want.

reinstone · December 2010

No, I'm not planning my life around TTC or skipping things because I don't want to be pg. In the grand scheme of things, I DO want to get pg. And I'm not going to skip a cycle or more because something "comes up." If that person thinks anything of me, they won't care that I'm pg. And if they don't, then so be it. I'm not moving my reproductive schedule around other people's lives.

What if THIS is your cycle? If you skip it, you could be messing with fate. You don't want to do that, now do you?

HappyAardvark · December 2010

LOL maybe you'd be singing a different tune if this was your 11th cycle, but it doesn't seem like you think it's that big of a deal to skip out on this cycle that would put you right at your friend's wedding date, so I wouldn't worry about it.

CLeigh03 · December 2010

If it feels wrong not to try, I would try. Go with what feels right for YOUR life, not others

I have postponed TTC but that is because I wanted to, it was in no way a decision that was made based on others. In fact, is it rude I have never even thought that way?

I honestly have never calculated a wedding or other big event going on in others peoples lives....hmmm...

mego36 · December 2010

My brother just got engaged and is looking at dates in October and November. ?If we conceive this cycle we would be due at the end of September.I spoke to my mother about it and she told me that I better not skip any cycles of trying (she's dying for a grandchild!).?

I think that the chances of us conceiving this cycle and a baby being born on the actual due date are chances I'm willing to take in order to have a baby that we want so badly.?

jillybean1012 · December 2010

Don't postpone around life events - everything has a way of working out anyway so I would not worry about it.

cfitz16 · December 2010

I would not postpone for that. My cousin was a bridesmaid and was 7 months pregnant in my wedding...it made it nicer! Something to look forward to right after my wedding!

jwls84 · December 2010

I wouldn't skip a cycle, who knows what might happen and I think things can always pop up that might line up with a possible pregnancy/due date. Do what feels right to you and don't worry about it getting in the way of others plans.

Jenn478 · December 2010

I would not personally, now that I am down to one tube EVERY cycle counts!!

MommyWannaB10 · December 2010

I wouldn't put off TTC. My cousin asked me to not be pregnant in 2012 when she plans to get married, but after DH's diagnosis I don't care if I'm pregnant and she chooses to find someone else to be in her wedding. To me, a baby is what I want and I can still enjoy the wedding from the guest tables. I wouldn't plan my life around others. But that's just me.

Moose2000 · December 2010

I have a similar situation - going to be in a wedding next December. I've thought about it lots. Right now I have to agree with a lot of the others here, that I should not wait and stop TTC in an attempt to avoid it. If it is my time, then so be it.

Now, on the other hand DH is a bit worried that I'll be due the same week as peak fishing season! LOL! Knowing our luck, that is what will happen.... Smile

Good luck!

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