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Multiples
MADforever2009
member
i got frustrated with a baby tonight
MADforever2009
member
in Multiples
until this week both babies very content babies. Since my mom has been here Cooper has been more fussy. She claims he is gasy. Which makes sense to me cause doctors said he will take in more air with feeding cause of his lip.
Well he was fussy and awake from his 9:30 feeding to his 12:30 feeding and kept me up the whole time and the frustration kicked in. Every time i would put him back in his co-sleeper he would automatically wake up and scream. He likes his paci but someone literally has to hold in his mouth for him cause he cant keep it in with his lip. Him and his brother are either Houdini or i suck at swaddling cause they always get their arms free and wake themselves up. So i ended up holding his paci in his mouth for at least an hour, set him in his sleeper at 12:00 and bam...scream...hes ready for his bottle. i was soooo mad at him.
what can i do when this happens? i had ended up bringing him out to mark in the living room while my mom was feeding cannon...cause i dont want to hold a baby that im mad at...thats not cool. My mom ended up coming to get him cause i think she saw my frustration and now she fed both at the 3:30 feeding.
I feel terrible...
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Re: i got frustrated with a baby tonight
It's normal to get frustrated. The first 3 months are so tough. One of my girls had reflux and severe gas and it wasn't until she started to grow out of the gas that things got better. But there were times I thought I was going to loose my mind!
My H works night work, so I had to get up with both girls on my own at night and then get up with them for the day so he could sleep. One night when they were about 5 wks old at 2:00am Keira had gas and was screaming and refusing to eat, Mia spit up half a bottle in my lap and our dog was up crying with diarrhea and then threw up. I had to go in the other room and scream into a pillow and take a breather for a minute before I could finish feeding the girls, put them back to bed and clean up after the dog. The next night was our first night out and I could not wait to get out and after 2 hrs was dying to get to them
Just keep telling yourself it will get better
It is completely normal. I remember DS was colic & would cry all the time & I would never get sleep in the first couple months & I would get so mad at him & then I would cry & cry b/c I get mad at him. I think you did right in brining him to your DH or mom so that you can gather yourself. That's what I would do so I can walk away & have a couple minutes to breathe & relax.
GL & trust me when I say this it WILL get easier. I remember when people would tell me that back them I never believed them, but it does. You're doing a great job!
I agree with everyone - it's totally normal especially at this age. You're not doing anything that I haven't done. You did the right thing by handing him over when you've reached your limit. At this age it is damn near impossible to handle it yourself. You're doing great! DS had gas and reflux and he would literally cry all night long. I would get frustrated and I was literally afraid to be with him by myself. He seemed so miserable. Now that he's out grown that he's just the happiest baby and is always smiling. There was a big turning point for us at 12 weeks and another at 6 months. Hang in there and accept the help!
We have all been there. It's so hard! One baby is hard....but multiples are really hard! Don't beat yourself up, and just take it day by day (honestly, I had to take it hour by hour). I was a stressed out mess the first 8 weeks. When I took my 2 year old trick or treating on Halloween, I was actually in tears because I was so sleep deprived and stressed. I don't have fond memories of those first few months. We would feed them, and it would take 2 hours to get them back down. Then of course, it was time for them to eat again. This would go on all night and by the time morning rolled around, I was in tears.
I know people keep telling you this, but it WILL get better. I hung on to that hope and just told myself that the 3 month mark was key. And it really was. I am sleeping at night and enjoying my kids during the day.
Vent to friends, accept help and just take it day by day. Good luck!!!
can you bedshare? that is what saved us. we put a king size bed next to a queen size bed and had a massive family bed for the first 6-months. people had negative opinions on bedsharing but eh, we were sleeping 6-8 hours a night! they napped in their crib so the night transition was suprisingly easy when the time was right.
good luck - you will find yourself frustrated with your babies a lot. and then with your toddlers a lot. and, i suspect, we will all get frustrated with our kids. we're human, and it happens.
When I was at my boiling point, I'd call my husband over and tell him straight up, I need a break. And I'd take it, no guilt. Endless crying is HARD. Don't feel bad--just keep asking for breaks when you need them.
Also: Get yourself some miracle blankets, STAT.
Ditto PP's. You're doing a great job even if it feels like you're not sometimes! Newborns are no walk in the park, especially 2 of them. I would rather not remember the first 2 months of the boys' lives. I would get so mad and frustrated with them screaming and being fussy that I would yell at them. I even told them a few times to shut up -- which in turn made me feel like a complete a$$hole and a terrible mother. On more than one occasion I thought the babies would be better with another family and that maybe I should put them up for adoption.
Not a good feeling. PPD at it's best. 
I spent the first 2 months bawling and melting down almost, if not, daily. Cut yourself some slack! Afterall, you're only human and so are they! Good for you for knowing you needed a break and handing off to H and your Mom. I use my supports daily still too.
My guys are 12 weeks now and it truly is getting better. Still a ridiculous amount of work and I still have the occasional meltdown, but they're so funny. They smile these big, giant toothless smiles. They coo and make all kinds of funny noises. So much better now that we get some feedback. Makes the sleep deprivation slightly easier to deal with. Plus, I'll be a bit of an AW -- Nathan has slept 10 hours straight for 5 days in a row and Ryan sleeps 5-7.5 hours straight now. It pretty much rules.
Hang in there lady! You're doing great for your babies!
Aww, we were doing the same thing at the same time last night! DS1 is really out of sorts with getting his routine all messed up over the holidays. He screamed for an hour before a nap yesterday, and screamed for another hour before bed. I could only handle 30 minutes before I had to give him to DH and take over dinner duties. I made stir-fry while crying.
Hang in there. You're doing a great job!
Oh, we've all been there. Newborns are hard and twins or HOM is even harder.
There was one night we swaddled DS in 2 blankets because he kept busting out. He also got 2 diapers that night bc he was peeing through them. We were so frustrated.
I ended up buying new blankets and that helped a ton. People swear by the miracle blanket, but I am too cheap to pay $30 for one blanket. So I do a double swaddle that mimics the miracle blanket (found here : https://jeniallen.blogspot.com/2009/08/wfmw-double-swaddle.html) and got some of the Aden + Anais muslin blankets. They are HUGE. More blanket makes it harder for a swaddle break.
For gas, we pretty much routinely give ours Mylicon before their bedtime (7:30) bottle as a preventative.
Also, do you run a white noise machine? I find that helps mine sleep better.
Just take it day by day, hour by hour. Every day you survive, you are one day closer to being out of this hard newborn stage.
We all get frustrated every now and then. It is VERY hard! In that early stage with no sleep and crying and crying, I would soemtimes cry too and I even yelled at them and then started crying because I had yelled at my babies. It's crazy stuff and you totally did the right thing by giving him to your mom and taking a break. We all need breaks, especially in those first few months and don't feel bad about thaking them. Swaddling with blankets didn't work for us, we used the swaddle me's and then the swaddle sleep sacks which I liked the best. Later I found the Woombie which was great too but by then we were almost done swaddling anyway. My girls were really gassy as well and we used mylicon all the time!!! GL and I know everyone says it....but it is true....it will get better!
Ohhh mama! you sound just like me when the LOs were that age. Heck im like pp i VIVIDLY remeber calling DH hysterical bc i had screamed at DD and the fear on her face broke my heart i swore i was the worst mother in the world and begged DH to come (which he didnt) This first few months were sooo hard! And there are still days (like today) that i want to just curl up an cry. But they are much MUCH much less now! Your better than me you handed your LO off instead of screaming like i did!
Paci: I agree with pp i never used one but i have heard wubbanubs are great. Might help your little guy keep the paci in. Does your LO need a special paci bc of his lip? if not we had to experiment with our guys to find one they could keep in better. I HATED the soothie pacis for that reason.
Swaddeling: As far as the swaddeling i did what pp did. during the winter we double swaddeled. this helped a lot and i found large recieving blankets worked great something about the tecture and size made it stick really well. Also a nurse at the hospital said to b sure the first fold gets under them really good to anchor it then the feet and the the last fold should go under thier back/hinney again to keep it in place.
Gassy: we use gripe water at bedtime and night feedings as a preventative with DS he had awful gas and reflux i think bc he was tounge tied and never had a great latch. I also burped him more often than DD. If you think your LO has reflux.... i found tilting them up a little helped. Early on when they were tiny and couldnt roll i would use the angled positioner (and even used an extra blanket under the positioner to prop it even higher) as long as DS was swaddeled good i never worried he was angled up a little and felt better than flat on his back.
Like pp said it gets better! but thats easier to say now than to hear when your going through it. GL and take a break!!