Help. Furious with DD

veloelle · December 2010

We were in the car forever today. DD asked if she could feed 9 month old DS a hard pretzel with peanut butter in the middle. I told her no twice. I get them out, and he has the hard, square pretzel in his hand. She's in her room. I'm so mad. I don't know how to discipline this. She knows to never, ever feed him. She doesn't understand what he can/can't eat. WWYD?

shopgirl78 · December 2010

BTDT twice. I honestly didn't fret too much over it but my DD was only 2 and didn't understand the consequences. I think we just did a TO. All's well that ends well?!? It's how I found out both of my boys are NOT allergic to peanut products...

AnnapolisLari · December 2010

What's making you most mad? The fact that she gave it to him, or that it was peanut butter?

I'd discipline her for the 'doing it anyway' after being told no. By 9 months, I know that DD had at least one hunk of DS peanut butter and jelly sandwich, if not more. I wouldn't worry too much about that end of it.

veloelle · December 2010

She didn't nap today, so i told her she's eating dinner then bed, nothing else tonight. Part of it was that it was the last effing straw with her. She was awful this Afternoon, and it was the last in a string of horrible behavior.

veloelle · December 2010

My issues were 1) no following directions and 2) the choking issue. I wasn't worried about the PB. #1 was the listening. Just so beat down about it today.

ccm1203 · December 2010

I bet DS had the pretzel in his hand even before she asked. For the near future I would probably just not let her eat in the car because you can't trust her not to give something to DS. Also as far as what he can / can't eat, I would probably tell her that she can not give him anything larger than a cherrio.

Cbidt's girl · December 2010

You're mad at her or are you mad at yourself? You put yourself in a position where you were relying on a preschooler to take care of your baby because from your seat in the car you couldn't possibly intervene. I wouldn't give snacks they can't share in a place you can't control it. Yes, she should listen, but she'll inevitably fail at that lots of times and you are mad because of the imagined consequence of her not listening this time.

veloelle · December 2010

Lesson learned on the car snacks. She had to throw the pretzel at him, she's not close enough to simply hand it to him. I'll only let her drink and we'll have to stop or make her wait for snacks.

CubbyMama · December 2010

When K was 2.5 and E was a newborn, K fed E a jellybean. I had left E laying on her back on the floor for a second to throw away a diaper, and came back to find green all over her mouth and tongue. I about had a heart attack! Luckily, she had spit it back out and I found it on the floor next to her, but I felt like a horrible parent and kept imagining what could've happened. Your DD is older and more capable of following directions than K was at that time, but she does still occasionally do stuff like that at 4 years old now: last month, she tried to pick E up off a kitchen chair and let her face-plant right onto the kitchen tile. Bloody nose, busted lip, etc...bad times. I think sometimes we expect too much of big sisters/brothers and forget they're still little, too. Maybe just talk to her about why you got so upset and remind her why she can't feed the baby, and leave it St that. I'm glad he's ok!

winomom22 · December 2010

DD1 did something similar when we were making cookies. Her and I were eating the cookie dough. DD2 was in the high chair watching. She has been told, never feed the baby, but I think sometimes her impulses get the better of her. I turned my back for a second and hear DD1 say "Look mom, Soleil likes cookie dough too!" I turn and see DD2 gumming on a ball of cookie dough. I fished it out of her mouth (it had raw eggs in it). I just reminded DD1 about not feeding her sister. She had good intentions and just wanted her sister to enjoy some cookie dough too

I think she got so overwhelmed with that, that she forgot our rule about not feeding her.

UGAbride · December 2010

Not saying I wouldn't be upset that this happened, but it's totally on you to keep your baby safe...you just canNOT trust a child to listen 100% of the time. I'm definitely unspoiled in that area, feels like neither of my kids listen to me consistently yet, so I always have to be one step ahead of them, and of course discipline each time they don't listen. So I'd have done timeout if it was appropriate time-wise (like we were pulling in at home), but otherwise they'd lose a more immediate privilege (say turn off a movie we are watching in the car, or take away his Explorer he was playing with, etc). DS #1 tends to remember privileges lost more than a plain timeout, so we are going in that direction at the moment with him. DS #2 is just a devilish 2 year old at the moment, so we do a LOT of timeout and redirection still!

Littlejen22 · December 2010

CubbyMama:
When K was 2.5 and E was a newborn, K fed E a jellybean. I had left E laying on her back on the floor for a second to throw away a diaper, and came back to find green all over her mouth and tongue. I about had a heart attack! Luckily, she had spit it back out and I found it on the floor next to her, but I felt like a horrible parent and kept imagining what could've happened. Your DD is older and more capable of following directions than K was at that time, but she does still occasionally do stuff like that at 4 years old now: last month, she tried to pick E up off a kitchen chair and let her face-plant right onto the kitchen tile. Bloody nose, busted lip, etc...bad times. I think sometimes we expect too much of big sisters/brothers and forget they're still little, too. Maybe just talk to her about why you got so upset and remind her why she can't feed the baby, and leave it St that. I'm glad he's ok!

Ditto this. When you have had a long hard day it is hard to keep things in perspective but if it was the first time and you made a huge deal of it I would just remind her when you give her a snack in the future (because I honestly cannot imagine you will not do it again b/c I know I could not) that it is just for her and the baby could get very hurt with it and as long as it does not happen again then I would let it go.

adri77 · December 2010

What strikes me the most about this thread is that you have a 9 year old that still naps! Do give me your secret PLEASE!!!!!

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