I feel like a bad person

pennynjon · December 2010

Everytime I log onto facebook and see friends of mine who are pregnant I feel angry. These are not annoying people. They are good, nice people. Even people who have also experienced a loss. I am not angry that they are pregnant. There were three of us who found out we were pregnant within a week of each other. They also have other living children. I really am happy for them. But I am angry that I am not still pregnant too. I am angry that I feel like I will never be that happy go lucky pregnant person. I am angry that I have been pregnant twice and both of my babies are gone. I hate feeling like this. I just feel like everytime I see them someone kicks me in the gut and knocks the air out me.I am sorry I am such a Debbie Downwer lately. I feel like all I do is complain to you all. But I just don't think anyone else gets it- even people who try (other than DH).

snazzycyn · December 2010

This is a completely natural part of mourning- I'm glad you feel comfortable complaining here!

ashleyluvskyle · December 2010

I know how you feel. I see my family and friends that are pregnant and either I burst into tears or I feel angry. It's hard to deal with those feelings because they make you feel so bad.

hopefulelise · December 2010

((hugs)) I hate that I feel that way too, you are not alone.

Stretchad · December 2010

I totally get it. I'm sorry!

I had to avoid FB for a while for that reason...

jen629 · December 2010

pennynjon:
Everytime I log onto facebook and see friends of mine who are pregnant I feel angry. These are not annoying people. They are good, nice people. Even people who have also experienced a loss. I am not angry that they are pregnant. There were three of us who found out we were pregnant within a week of each other. They also have other living children. I really am happy for them. But I am angry that I am not still pregnant too. I am angry that I feel like I will never be that happy go lucky pregnant person. I am angry that I have been pregnant twice and both of my babies are gone. I hate feeling like this. I just feel like everytime I see them someone kicks me in the gut and knocks the air out me.I am sorry I am such a Debbie Downwer lately. I feel like all I do is complain to you all. But I just don't think anyone else gets it- even people who try (other than DH).

Penny you are not a bad person ..you are a good person who had a really awful tragedy happen to her and no one can take away how you grieve and how you feel...you are allowed to feel angry,jealous and upset ..you are not a Debbie downer believe me ..I feel like I have not been as supportive lately because I have been very down too so I apologize if I have not been there more for you but that is why we have each other honey you can vent here anytime you need .... we understand

{{{{HUGS}}}

mandy6418 · December 2010

You are in NO WAY a bad person. I feel the same way too. I get angry and I almost resent them. And, like your friends, these are really good people. I know that they are "carefree" in their pregnancies and that I will never be able to feel like that again. It makes me mad. Its such an awful feeling to have to feel this way, but I guess it just comes with the territory. I know we will all get our take-home babies and it will be so amazing.

You can complain here whenever you want to. Thats what we are here for!

Many :::HUGS:::

martinimomma · December 2010

Penny, you are an incredibly strong woman who is entitled to feel exactly how she feels today and every day. None of those feelings make you a bad person. They make you eminently human.

((Hugs)). We are here for you at any time, Debbie Downer or otherwise.

Left Hug Right Hug

CheesyPeas · December 2010

Oh hun, please don't feel like a bad person. I get really angry too and avoid Facebook completely because of it. I can't take feeling that way all the time. It's bad enough that I see my pregnant friend at work every day. I love her to pieces, and she had a loss before me, so I'm glad that she's having success with this pregnancy....but seeing her growing belly every day makes me really bitter. It's okay to feel this way; don't ever beat yourself up for it. ((HUGS))

Pachita · December 2010

It's totally normal to feel that way. I'm having the same feelings myself.

((HUGS))

bryanandkatrina · December 2010

I know exactly how you're feeling ((((HUGEHUGS))))

You're not alone!

julesjb · December 2010

I came to say after reading the title that you are about as far from a bad person as it gets. You have been through sooooo much and you are on here supporting everyone way more than you ever say a complaint. I couldn't agree more with your post, I hear myself say somethings out loud after seeing pregnancy announcements and I don't even know who I am anymore.. So bitter and unable to see the happiness for others. It's natural and I hope some day when we have a whole brood of LO we can help people feeling the same way. Lots of (((hugs))) and thank you for always being such a good person on this board!

Tapatio · December 2010

You are NOT a bad person! It's only natural to get angry and/or sad. It's all part of the mourning process. I equate TTCAL like an emotional roller coaster. You're going to have good days and bad days. Just because you have "ugly" feelings sometimes, it doesn't sum up who you are. Feel free to vent all you want. That's what we're here for! ((big hugs))

shelshel79 · December 2010

((hugs)) Complain away! We all go through times where we are completely negative and in a funk. It will get better, it has to. In the meantime, go ahead and whine, we're here for you! I don't go on FB much either...it sucks to see the ladies with their healthy new babies when I was already sick of TTC when they first posted that they were PG.

Carolee · December 2010

Please do not feel like a bad person. What you are feeling is completely normal and acceptable. I feel very similarly toward 2 friends of mine who are both pregnant. I am so angry and jealous that I am not. It is hard for me to even talk to them right now because of how I feel. (((Hugs)))

vflipo · December 2010

((hugs)) Your feelings are normal and totally understandable.

ZZsmommy · December 2010

You are NOT a bad person -- you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, got to hold her in your arms and had her taken away from you before the day was even through. That is something very few women on this earth have had to endure, and it took an amount of courage and strength that is commendable. It is only natural to feel jealousy when someone else has something come so easily for them when it has been filled with heartache and pain for you. You should be a mom with a beautiful little girl and another one on the way, and it is unfair. So you should feel free to vent. Hugs!

Nicks10 · December 2010

You are not a bad person. All those feelings are completely natural, and most if not all of us have felt that way at some point too. Sometimes the cards we are dealt suck, and it is OK to be angry about that. You have been through a lot, don't feel bad about complaining here, we are here to listen to each other.

dbrym1 · December 2010

You are in NO WAY a bad person! You are a wonderful person who has had really horrible, unfair things happen and you have EVERY right to feel sad and complain! ((HUGS))

jerriesgirl · December 2010

((hugs)) sweetie

cutebride73 · December 2010

You are not a bad person - not at all!! Those feelings are completely normal considering what you've been through. You are supposed to have your baby in your arms right now and you don't - that's devastating. Honestly, feelings can't be wrong, they just are. It's how you act on them that matters and you are a caring and supportive person who has been through hell.

I have felt these same types of feelings. I am happy for my friends who are pregnant, who have recently had babies, but it is hard too. My one friend had her baby right in between my 2 due dates, holding him was wonderful, but so, so sad. I should have a baby in my arms right now, but I don't.

You can't beat yourself up about this, you just have to keep going day after day and process the feelings that you have. You need to give yourself a giant break, because you deserve it - 100%.

LilMaggs · December 2010

*huge hugs* I'm so sorry

I feel the exact same way. It doesn't matter how deserving they are, I envy them.

butterflynola · December 2010

I totally know what you mean! My DH will tell me just try to remember how happy and excited you were when you were pregnant and I do and I get it but it still really sucks to have "been" pregnant and have empty arms and they flaunt it

Hang in there. ((hugs))

dayjessica · December 2010

I feel the exact same way every time I log on to facebook. Now every time someone makes a pregnancy announcement they are promptly hid from my wall. That way I can still interact with them and send e-mails, but I dont have to see all their wonderful pregnancy related status updates.

haziedaze · December 2010

I've been feeling a lot of resentment I don't want to feel today. You're definitely not alone. Reading the responses to your post has made me feel better, so I hope they helped you too. That's why I love this board. Big time ((HUGS)). I'm so sorry for all you've gone through and am routing for a BFP for you very soon!

allybaby85 · December 2010

I think we have all felt like that at one time or another. Its totally normal.((hugs))

damabo80 · December 2010

Completely natural and completely justified. You are not a bad person...you're a greiving mother.

Huge hugs, Penny.

ColleenS629 · December 2010

Hugs! I feel the same way.

linz85 · December 2010

You are definitely not a bad person, this is just a part of how you grieve!

I'm so sorry that nobody gets it though. That's the hardest part sometimes.

And sometimes you think they get it, and then they prove that they really don't...that's even worse!

I really hope things start looking up for you.

SheriBT · December 2010

I say complain away- that is what we're here for. And I don't see this as a complaint either- just a natural expression of feelings. You're not a horrible person, please don't ever think that.

Want a personalized experience?

I feel like a bad person

Re: I feel like a bad person

Choose Another Board

Search Boards