Why are people being so weird?

Hyfagal · December 2010

So we have these friends of the family. We were all very close when me and their son were BFFs in elementary school and now they still come to summer BBQs and get togethers now and then but it's only a few times a year.

One of the boys hit me up on FB saying his mom asked him to contact me about coming by and visiting. I assumed she meant because our induction is next week and they wanted to see the baby. I told them when they could drop by. He said "Oh she was thinking tomorrow." Indifferent

They're wanting to come by before the baby is born. I know pregnancy is not crippling but my house is in shambles, I'm a hormonal wreck about my baby coming in a week, and we are swamped trying to get all the last minute things done around the house. I don't want to entertain anyone.

I feel like a douche but I told them they couldn't come. I'm way to busy and stressed to play hostess.

I also told a friend from highschool yesterday she couldn't come sit in the waiting room during the induction. We were close years ago but barely talk now and she texted me to ask if she could come sit in the waiting room. I told her to just come the next day and visit the baby.

Mrs. Bella · December 2010

Both those situations sound well-handled to me!

kesrya · December 2010

Don't feel like a douche - you are being totally reasonable. I'm actually the opposite about visiting the house - but for the same reason. I just don't feel like going anywhere, so if people want to see me, they need to come to me. A friend gave me a hard time about it b/c they moved their annual new year's eve party from their apartment (15 minutes away) to her boyfriend's house (45 minutes away) and I said that might cause me to stay home. She was disappointed b/c she wants me to make my famous jello shooters for the party -- hello, I don't even want to drive up there, what makes you think I want to be making alcoholic snacks for everyone else and messing up my kitchen? The only thing that may convince me to go is the fact that her boyfriend is one of my best friends, and I don't get to see him very often since we live far away.

As for the old friend who wants to sit in the waiting room -- it doesn't hurt that she asked, but don't feel bad about your answer. That too is totally reasonable. Birth is a private thing and you don't need the pressure of someone sitting around and waiting. If she gets upset - that is her issue to deal with - its not a reflection on you doing anything wrong.

LifesPeachy · December 2010

Wow those people are weird indeed. Why would someone you were friends with in high school, but not anymore, want to waste her time in a waiting room?? Why would she think you want to see her moments after delivering? Really, that is weird.. gees.

And I don't think you need to feel bad for telling the mother of your old friend that she can't come tomorrow. People really have unrealistic expectations! She must be used to getting her own way- you did the right thing by saying no. I'd never invite myself over to anyone's house, let alone someone who is due to be induced in a week! Again, weird... and rude!

pomrom · December 2010

I don't blame you for not wanting to play hostess! My best friend from high school has not been to my new house yet... we moved here in October! And she emails me for directions and tells me that now she knows where my house is, she is going to just drop by whenever she feels like it! Haha! I politely told her that I am hit and miss at home because of school stuff with the older two kids and that I have doctors appointments and stuff. It would be better if she called and gave me some warning... and she got crabby with me!!!! i shot back with, well it would be nice to have the house picked up and not answer the door in by pj's with no bra and my hair all messed up! being this pregnant does not look that great on me, especially when i am not put together!

I don't know why, but having a baby seems to bring people out of the wood work. I had a lot of people add me on FB when I had an u/s picture up as my profile pic. People that I used to work with, went to school with... it is wierd!

But it is really odd that your friend wants to sit in the waiting room.... my family doesn't even wait in the waiting room... they just come after delivery.

WannaBeCrunchyMama · December 2010

A few weeks ago my cousin jokingly told me they'd be coming to visit in early jan.

I thought they were joking.

Until my mom told me he was serious and planning on coming early january.

So my mom told him this...

"You're welcome to come visit any time. I just want to let you know what they requested early on not to have any visitors except immediate family for the first few weeks. So you won't get to see her or the baby."

WTF. They have two kids. You'd think they would know that I DO NOT want out of town visitors that I haven't seen in almost 10 years and barely know while I'm either A)enormously pregnant. or have a brand new baby.

GRRR.

They changed their plans to early february.

skibi83 · December 2010

Weird how people all of a sudden think they need to be so involved in your family life when a big event is happening. Don't get me wrong it seems like it is all well meaning, but in another sense it seems a bit invasive to me. I have had people ask weird questions and want to all of a sudden be more apart of my life. I know its well meaning, but I agree with you it is a bit weird.

aggiemeg · December 2010

That is weird. Meet for lunch at a restaurant and call it a day. And hope your water doesn't break in the booth... sounds like you're getting close!

Hyfagal · December 2010

She seemed to take it okay. There's just so much uncertianty with inductions and I know my family and H's will be wanting to storm the room. I don't want a bunch of extras that we have to worry about too. I know it's not my place to entertain but I know that if I know there are people waiting it will make slow progress seem like an even bigger issue. I don't want to have to think about it.

LadyXaverian · December 2010

It is so weird to me that your HS friend wanted to be in the waiting room. Seriously? Neither our BEST friends nor our FAMILY are going to be in the waiting room while I'm in L&D. That is outrageous.

I'm glad you stood your ground on no visitors right now. I'm glad they took it ok.