How pissed should I be?

Mrs Manners · December 2010

Daycare just called and left a message telling me that they gave soy milk to my soy allergic child. She said that so far he's fine and they are bringing him up front to monitor near his epipen. I prepare and send all his food every day so that he eats soy-free. Everyone knows exactly what he can eat. All his containers for food have allergy stickers on them. His allergies are posted on the wall in every class. I'm in route to go get him now (riding with someone back to where we left my car earlier to carpool). What should I say to daycare? How pissed should I be about this?

monkeyqueen · December 2010

Mistakes happen, but I'd be super pissed.

I'd want to know who is accountable for this and what is being done about it and what they are going to do to prevent future incidences. Speaking as someone with severe allergies to a couple of dif. foods, this is unacceptable.

Although, I think it's good they called you - they are obviously not being careless about the mistake.

goodheartedmommy · December 2010

I'd be pretty pissed. I would be even slightly more understanding if they gave him a processed food with soy over soy MILK! That makes absolutely no sense. Was it a substitute or did he reach and grab the person's next to him? Not many people need soy milk, so I don't know why it would be near him. You'd think they'd put the kid who drinks soy milk far away from your son. I'd just make sure you get a plan of what they'll do to keep this from happening in the future, and make sure they know the seriousness of what could have happened (I'm assuming it's more than a small allergy since he has an epipen for it).

lizard76 · December 2010

I wouldn't be pissed until I found out exactly what happened. It's possible he accidentally drank another child's milk by picking up the wrong cup. They obviously are doing the responsible thing by calling you, telling you what they're doing (monitoring him closely), etc.

Mrs Manners · December 2010

A girl in his class has a dairy allergy so they give her soy milk. The teacher (not his normal one - she apparently had gone home) said he sat in the other girls chair at snack and drank her milk. He appears to be fine but that's probably the most soy he's ever had. We have no idea exactly how much it would take to cause a reaction. ETA: I was very nice when I picked him up and simply asked them what happened. I'm going to talk to the director on Monday to find out how we can avoid this in the future. They need to monitor him more closely at meal time.

wildfloweragain · December 2010

I wouldn't be so pissed. They called you right away. A girl in my class grabbed something and drank it before I could get to her and she is allergic to soy. I did the same thing - called her mom. For her, it's a build up of soy that is the problem. This was hot chocolate that had some soy in it, I was making something else for her. I was very concerned, but the mom kept her cool. It won't happen again.

Mrs Manners · December 2010

wildfloweragain:
I wouldn't be so pissed. They called you right away. A girl in my class grabbed something and drank it before I could get to her and she is allergic to soy. I did the same thing - called her mom. For her, it's a build up of soy that is the problem. This was hot chocolate that had some soy in it, I was making something else for her. I was very concerned, but the mom kept her cool. It won't happen again.

I agree that they did handle the situation properly after if happened. They called me and they removed him from class for monitoring. I've calmed down about it now. I knew I would which is why I didn't address it when I picked him up. They really do care about him there and they do a great job with him.

debs1018 · December 2010

I would be very upset! Why would they even have a soy milk in a classroom where a child was allergic? I mean when a kid has a peanut allergy, peanuts are not allowed. Period. I understand the other child has a dairy allergy, but then maybe they should change the policies to just water. Food allergies are not a joke, who gives a F how they handled it, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. I am assuming his allergy is pretty bad if he has an epi pen no? I am glad he is okay.

Cbidt's girl · December 2010

debs10/18:
I would be very upset! Why would they even have a soy milk in a classroom where a child was allergic? I mean when a kid has a peanut allergy, peanuts are not allowed. Period. I understand the other child has a dairy allergy, but then maybe they should change the policies to just water. Food allergies are not a joke, who gives a F how they handled it, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. I am assuming his allergy is pretty bad if he has an epi pen no? I am glad he is okay.

generally soy allergy is not a contact allergy, unlike peanut.

r9stedt · December 2010

Mrs Manners:
A girl in his class has a dairy allergy so they give her soy milk. The teacher (not his normal one - she apparently had gone home) said he sat in the other girls chair at snack and drank her milk. He appears to be fine but that's probably the most soy he's ever had. We have no idea exactly how much it would take to cause a reaction. ETA: I was very nice when I picked him up and simply asked them what happened. I'm going to talk to the director on Monday to find out how we can avoid this in the future. They need to monitor him more closely at meal time.

debs10/18:
I would be very upset! Why would they even have a soy milk in a classroom where a child was allergic? I mean when a kid has a peanut allergy, peanuts are not allowed. Period. I understand the other child has a dairy allergy, but then maybe they should change the policies to just water. Food allergies are not a joke, who gives a F how they handled it, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. I am assuming his allergy is pretty bad if he has an epi pen no? I am glad he is okay.

Dairy and soy allergies are (usually) not contact allergies.

gibs · December 2010

I think you're asking a lot of daycare. Keep him home with a nanny/babysitter or yourself until he's old enough to understand that he cannot drink soy. I bet the other parents don't want to pay for all the extra attention to ensure that your special needs kid is watched like a hawk 100% of the time. Daycare isn't for severely emotionally disturbed kids or for kids with severe food allergies.

And p.s. your OP is inaccurate and misleading. Nobody GAVE your kid soy milk. YOUR kid moved to a seat not his own and drank something.

Mrs Manners · December 2010

gibs:
I think you're asking a lot of daycare. Keep him home with a nanny/babysitter or yourself until he's old enough to understand that he cannot drink soy. I bet the other parents don't want to pay for all the extra attention to ensure that your special needs kid is watched like a hawk 100% of the time. Daycare isn't for severely emotionally disturbed kids or for kids with severe food allergies.

And p.s. your OP is inaccurate and misleading. Nobody GAVE your kid soy milk. YOUR kid moved to a seat not his own and drank something.

We did keep him home with a nanny for his first 2.5 years and enrolled him in daycare due to changes in our financial situation that no longer afforded us that opportunity. I posted the OP based on what they told me on the phone which was that they gave him soy milk. I posted the follow up after I spoke to the teacher. I do expect them to watch my kid and all the other kids carefully when eating...that is why we pay for daycare...for the supervision. I don't complain about paying for the two meals and a snack they include in tuition that my child never eats. He has had contact reactions to products like salad dressing that contain soybean oil and tests positive on skin testing - we avoid it at all costs at home so I can't say that we exactly know how severe the allergy is. For most kids, it takes a lot of soy to cause a reaction (vs. something like peanuts that any contact can trigger a reaction).

r9stedt · December 2010

Mrs Manners:
We did keep him home with a nanny for his first 2.5 years and enrolled him in daycare due to changes in our financial situation that no longer afforded us that opportunity. I posted the OP based on what they told me on the phone which was that they gave him soy milk. I posted the follow up after I spoke to the teacher. I do expect them to watch my kid and all the other kids carefully when eating...that is why we pay for daycare...for the supervision. I don't complain about paying for the two meals and a snack they include in tuition that my child never eats. He has had contact reactions to products like salad dressing that contain soybean oil and tests positive on skin testing - we avoid it at all costs at home so I can't say that we exactly know how severe the allergy is. For most kids, it takes a lot of soy to cause a reaction (vs. something like peanuts that any contact can trigger a reaction).

Poor guy. Did he do okay last night?

Mrs Manners · December 2010

r9stedt:
Mrs Manners:
We did keep him home with a nanny for his first 2.5 years and enrolled him in daycare due to changes in our financial situation that no longer afforded us that opportunity. I posted the OP based on what they told me on the phone which was that they gave him soy milk. I posted the follow up after I spoke to the teacher. I do expect them to watch my kid and all the other kids carefully when eating...that is why we pay for daycare...for the supervision. I don't complain about paying for the two meals and a snack they include in tuition that my child never eats. He has had contact reactions to products like salad dressing that contain soybean oil and tests positive on skin testing - we avoid it at all costs at home so I can't say that we exactly know how severe the allergy is. For most kids, it takes a lot of soy to cause a reaction (vs. something like peanuts that any contact can trigger a reaction).
Poor guy. Did he do okay last night?

He actually did great. They told me when they called that he probably drank 1/2 cup. When I got there the teacher said it was more likely only a few sips. He was perfectly fine last night and this morning.

r9stedt · December 2010

Whew. What a relief! I don't have any food allergies, but I have lots of skin allergies and know how miserable it makes you feel.

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