"It is God's way of trying to time it for you"

alhal · December 2010

This was the comment I just got from my one and only friend that knows I'm having trouble TTC. Her theory is that I am still not pregnant after almost 11 months of trying because God feels that the time isn't right yet. Now I remember why I decided not to tell friends and family that we are trying to get pregnant. I know she is just trying to be supportive, and to a certain extent I agree with the statement anyway.... but I still just don't feel good about hearing it from someone else's mouth. Ugh...

cyndielise · December 2010

That's one of the only things that makes me feel better... Honestly about everything... it's usually a relief to me that I'm not the one in control because that'd just be stressful to me, lol.

I also do see however, if it's not a self-concocted mantra how frustrating it could be to be told that! It's hard when you're going through such a trial to basically be told "God's doing it on purpose." Even though that's not really the case, that's how it comes across when other people say it to you, isn't it?

Hang in there! And take advantage of the boards for venting :]

karaknr · December 2010

I know. Ive heard that a couple of times too and while I know that may be true, it doesnt help me to not be irritated or bitter about it. That is something that I need to come to terms with on my own with God, not something someone else should be trying to tell me IMO...

I just love ignorant TTC comments made by others... I got "Just have sex right before or right after your period. That's your most fertile time...." Indifferent I just wanted to tell her, " You know absolutely nothing about TTC if you think that is remotely true". Odd thing is shes the second person to tell me that! What a wacky and completely untrue statement!

Some people...

bonnin507 · December 2010

I definitely know what you mean. I'm on my 1st cycle of clomid to TTC#2 (TTC#1 was successful w/ 50mg clomid) and so far it seems like my body is not responding to it. DH said that when we are meant to be blessed w/ another baby, it will happen. and yes I agree w/ this statement but @ the same time hearing it him say it made me feel frustrated that everything feels completely out of my control.

alhal · December 2010

karaknr:

I know. Ive heard that a couple of times too and while I know that may be true, it doesnt help me to not be irritated or bitter about it. That is something that I need to come to terms with on my own with God, not something someone else should be trying to tell me IMO...

I just love ignorant TTC comments made by others... I got "Just have sex right before or right after your period. That's your most fertile time...." I just wanted to tell her, " You know absolutely nothing about TTC if you think that is remotely true". Odd thing is shes the second person to tell me that! What a wacky and completely untrue statement!

Some people...

Ha! And the worst part is that those same people that are making those ignorant, false TTC statements are the same ones that probably somehow end up pregnant on their first cycle trying!

abozz · December 2010

cyndielise:

That's one of the only things that makes me feel better... Honestly about everything... it's usually a relief to me that I'm not the one in control because that'd just be stressful to me, lol.

I also do see however, if it's not a self-concocted mantra how frustrating it could be to be told that! It's hard when you're going through such a trial to basically be told "God's doing it on purpose." Even though that's not really the case, that's how it comes across when other people say it to you, isn't it?

Hang in there! And take advantage of the boards for venting :]

actually, all of this.

jb2rn · December 2010

I am sorry someone said that to you Sad

So what about those that can't have children? Does God not like them? I just don't get that logic.

Sounds like she was trying to be compassionate, but royally screwed up.

alhal · December 2010

jb2rn:

I am sorry someone said that to you

So what about those that can't have children? Does God not like them? I just don't get that logic.

Sounds like she was trying to be compassionate, but royally screwed up.

My thought exactly. But yes, she is a good friend and definitely thought she was being compassionate. It isn't her fault that I'm so sensitive about the entire topic. I have to remind myself of that.

SParkman80 · December 2010

That is the only thing that keeps me from having breakdowns. I had a friend tell me (after she announced her pregnancy) that maybe if she hugged me it would rub off on me....

It's very tough but I love thinking that God has a plan for me and when he's ready for me to have a baby, I will. He put this want for a child in my heart and I know he will deliver!! GL to you!

Eboom · December 2010

We are paddling the same boat sister! I agree and am trying to believe that statement with all my heart. I know that i would like certain circumstances to change before we conceive. Like getting out of the in-laws house and DH getting a job are at the top of the list! So, as much as I want to get KU, I have to believe and have faith that the timing will be right when DH has a job and we have our own place. And I really want that for us too! Good luck to you and your DH! Dont get discouraged!! Wink

XXXXX222 · December 2010

We are quite religious but cannot STAND that argument.

*hugs* Unfortunately, evil exists in our fallen world and bad shlt just happens sometimes.

cyndielise · December 2010

SParkman80:
That is the only thing that keeps me from having breakdowns. I had a friend tell me (after she announced her pregnancy) that maybe if she hugged me it would rub off on me....
It's very tough but I love thinking that God has a plan for me and when he's ready for me to have a baby, I will. He put this want for a child in my heart and I know he will deliver!! GL to you!

It's just like when you have a loss in your family or something. People usually can't relate (even if they've had a similar loss, no one is in your exact position) and they just want to try to show you they can sympathize. They want to connect with you on some level to try to help, but don't know what to say. A lot of times they come across as rude, but in their minds they are relating your experience to one they've gone through to try to help.

It's almost NEVER maliciously intended. Like the girl who posted a month back or so who lost a loved one, and someone sent them an e-mail saying they knew what it was like, they'd lost a pet.

It's just people trying to connect, and it almost never comes across right, lol!

alhal · December 2010

Thanks for all of the encouraging words ladies! I knew you guys would understand!

siren0076 · December 2010

to your friend.

SParkman80 · December 2010

I know she definitely wasn't trying to be rude. She's a sweet girl, It was just hard to hear and it's always an emotional time for me anyway around cd 1 and I haven't really even been trying for near as long as some of these ladies. I wouldn't know what to say to to someone who was ttc for awhile and I had gotten pg the first try either!!

partymama · December 2010

alhal:
This was the comment I just got from my one and only friend that knows I'm having trouble TTC. Her theory is that I am still not pregnant after almost 11 months of trying because God feels that the time isn't right yet. Now I remember why I decided not to tell friends and family that we are trying to get pregnant. I know she is just trying to be supportive, and to a certain extent I agree with the statement anyway.... but I still just don't feel good about hearing it from someone else's mouth. Ugh...

I had this EXACT conversation with one of my friends...even if I don't mind the religious undertones, it just left me feeling more frustrated!

FyreFry5 · December 2010

Oh, HE7LLLLLL no. I would have been pissed, and I would have told her so. What ruffles my feathers about this (besides that I don't believe in God), is that it is somehow implied that either a) God must not think you're ready for a child, or b) your friend doesn't think you're ready for a child. Either way, it's a pretty sh!tty thing to say.

I hope she meant it with the best of intentions and in a comforting way (I'm sure she did), but you are definitely justified in being a bit bent out of shape about it. If it was me, I would talk to her about it and give her an opportunity to understand why it was upsetting - if she's a good friend (good enough to be the only one to know your secret), you don't want bitterness and old anger about something like that hanging over your friendship.

alhal · December 2010

FyreFry5:

Oh, HE7LLLLLL no. I would have been pissed, and I would have told her so. What ruffles my feathers about this (besides that I don't believe in God), is that it is somehow implied that either a) God must not think you're ready for a child, or b) your friend doesn't think you're ready for a child. Either way, it's a pretty sh!tty thing to say.

I hope she meant it with the best of intentions and in a comforting way (I'm sure she did), but you are definitely justified in being a bit bent out of shape about it. If it was me, I would talk to her about it and give her an opportunity to understand why it was upsetting - if she's a good friend (good enough to be the only one to know your secret), you don't want bitterness and old anger about something like that hanging over your friendship.

Love this response. And you are right, I probably should talk to her about how I feel (in regards to her well-intended yet insensitive comment). And thanks for reassuring me that I have a right to feel bent out of shape about it. Between this and the fact that you started a Bump Book Club, you are quickly becoming one of my favorite bumpies.

alison2379 · December 2010

You were right to be upset. *HUG* I haven't seen you around lately!

Want a personalized experience?

"It is God's way of trying to time it for you"

Re: &quot;It is God's way of trying to time it for you&quot;

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

&quot;It is God's way of trying to time it for you&quot;

Re: &amp;quot;It is God's way of trying to time it for you&amp;quot;

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

"It is God's way of trying to time it for you"

Re: "It is God's way of trying to time it for you"