Twins...and done?

jenn_darrin1515 · December 2010

DH and I have been having THE talk a lot lately about whether or not we want to expand our family or be done...not that we have to make the decision this instant..but still....I always thought I would have 2 children b/c I figured I could survive 2 pregnancies...but since we had the girls I starting thinking I would like one more...DH always wanted 3 and we both come from 3 children families and liked the dynamic and the craziness that we didn't see in our 2 cousin/friend households....

But at the same time I finally feel like I have a handle on my girls, my home life with dh and my work life and I am kind of afraid of upsetting that balance...just wondering who out there has decided that having your twins is it for kids? How did you *know* you were done? I know it is different for everyone...some days I really want to try for a 3rd and other days I think about how hard it has been to share my time with my girls and how maybe it is selfish of me to take anymore of that time away from them with another sibling...I don't know...I guess this turned into more of a vent...but if you want to share your thoughts/feelings on the subject I welcome them!

Haven1 · December 2010

I am 1000% done. DH is hesitant to do anything perminent until they boys are at least a year, but I'm positive I'm done. We both come from 2 children families, and that's all I've ever wanted. The fact that I only had to get and be pregnant once was just God's way of paying be back for all crap we went through to get pregnant in the first place.

LALASEPT05 · December 2010

We are definitely done! We always said 2 kids as well because we just felt like that would be a complete family for us. Our babies are only 7 months old and I feel like it's only been a month since I've felt somewhat normal. For me I just have no desire to be in a situation like I was for those first 3 months - it was just so hard. I mean who knows how I'll feel in 2 years but I really don't see myself wanting to go back to that. For what it's worth I think your girls will be happy to have you to themselves and I also think that another sibling would bring them joy in their life as well. I think whatever you choose they'll be just as happy. So in that repsect I don't think you can go wrong. Before you know it they'll be in school and having their own social lives and then maybe having another will seem right?

blondek8 · December 2010

DH and I are 1000% done. No more. Not doing this again. I had thought years ago that 3 children would be lovely. Not anymore. We lucked out with the twins and we're happy with just 2. DH will get his vasectomy within the year. He says it'll be a cake walk compared to what he witnessed throughout my pregnancy and especially the delivery. Smile

AmberB711 · December 2010

We always said we were gonna have one. But ended up with twins so we are done. Husband has appt today for vasectomy consult. Financially we want to be able to continue our lifestyle so 2 is limit for that! Plus we dont know what we would do if we had twins again.

piccolina09 · December 2010

Yup, we are. Two is enough for us and we have no desire to jump back into the world of fertility treatments. I also think long term and what we can afford to give them and am thankful we live a good life, no debt other than the mortgage. I am currently on a 2 year leave from my job and able to spend this time with them, if we had another, I feel we would be taking financially security away from these 2 for a possibility of a third. Our life is very full with our two and our family is complete.

kafunder · December 2010

Before having twins, I thought I'd be happy with one or two kids, as DH and I are both only children. But, since having the twins, we know we aren't done. We're already talking about when we'll try again--probably sometime late in 2011. This feeling really surprised me b/c I had a rough pregnancy and wasn't crazy about the newborn phase until recently. But, we just don't feel like our family is complete with the twins. We now know we want to have a big family. Part of it comes from the fact that DH and I both realized how much we hated having small families. The other part is that my best friend also has b/g twins and they went on to have two more singletons, and their house is always so fun, and we love the dynamic b/w the kids and the chaos in their house. It's just how we want to be. Finally, I know we're not done b/c selfishly (and I know this isn't a reason to have a baby), I want to know what it's like to have just one baby to care for and be pregnant with.

shegak · December 2010

We thought we were done after our first set of twins was born. I always wanted 3 kids, but with the struggle of IF and the business of twins, we thought they were "it" for us for a long time. It wasn't until they were about 3 that I realized that deep down I did want one more. DH and I thought long and hard about it, debated on how it would effect our family, how we'd handle another IF battle, our financial situation, etc... and decided to go for it. Lo and behold, after an even longer struggle, here we are having another set of twins! When we made the decision to try for one more, we never thought this was in cards for us! But we feel very blessed and happy.

It's a tough decision. Takes a lot of serious thought and for us, a lot of time to reach the right answer.

FaeryStarGazer · December 2010

Lots of factors contributed to my being done. First, I only wanted to have one kid, my crappy weakass eggs sort of ruined that plan :P My husband had liked the idea of two kids, I didn't want any, but I agreed we could pull the goalie and shoot for one. Second, pregnancy was without a doubt the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life. There is no way I will ever put myself and my family through hyper-emesis ever again. Then there's the money factor- there's never enough, college is going to be a challenge, forget about activities like dance, gymnastics, sports... I have two kids, and they are enough for my family. I had my tubes tied when I had my section.

sawyer918 · December 2010

We are DONE. My DH had his vasectomy in July. We said we only wanted 2 children (I also said that I only wanted to be pg once). So this was a win-win. I don't think I could go back to those first 3 months again as pp said. The only thing that I am nervous about is that in a few years will I miss the baby stage? Right now I laugh thinking how I could possibly miss it, but maybe I will. I just can't see myself pg again.

twobytwo2010 · December 2010

Not a chance that we are done. I know that we want atleast 4 if there is more then we would be happy with that. We both came from large families and it is just so much fun to get together with all of them and that is what we want to have.

Tofumonkey · December 2010

We'd like a 3rd, but are too scared of having twins again (spontaneous fraternals) so we aren't ever going to try!

MrsLnt · December 2010

I am an only and DH is 9 years younger than his brother so he's practically an only. I always said 3, he said 2. We agreed on 2 with the option for the 3rd. Never, ever dreamed we'd have twins.

98% of the time I think we are done. This newborn thing is rough. Twins are even rougher. Because ours were spontaneous, and on the first "try" (more like not preventing one time), I'm scared that this will happen again. I love my babies more than anything but I don't really want another set of twins.

If we do #3 (and that is a BIG if), it will be 4-5 years down the road.

jenn_darrin1515 · December 2010

Tofumonkey:
We'd like a 3rd, but are too scared of having twins again (spontaneous fraternals) so we aren't ever going to try!

this is my dh's main fear...

thanks for sharing ladies! I think we will stop talking about it for the next 6 months and then see how we feel about things then...it is a big decision (obviously) and maybe taking a break from thinking about it for now will help...

jenn_darrin1515 · December 2010

Tofumonkey:
We'd like a 3rd, but are too scared of having twins again (spontaneous fraternals) so we aren't ever going to try!

this is my dh's main fear...

thanks for sharing ladies! I think we will stop talking about it for the next 6 months and then see how we feel about things then...it is a big decision (obviously) and maybe taking a break from thinking about it for now will help...

jenn_darrin1515 · December 2010

Tofumonkey:
We'd like a 3rd, but are too scared of having twins again (spontaneous fraternals) so we aren't ever going to try!

this is my dh's main fear...

thanks for sharing ladies! I think we will stop talking about it for the next 6 months and then see how we feel about things then...it is a big decision (obviously) and maybe taking a break from thinking about it for now will help...

kelliwill · December 2010

I feel the same way you do, some days I think I want another and some days I am like....whoa.....I am good with two! DH says he's done but I say it's too soon to make that decision, so nothing permanent yet. I have the IUD, we got pregnant 1st time trying and them ID twins. We know that the chance of ID twins again is not likely but in his mind I think it still scares him. I like our life now and don't want to take any financial resources away from the girls, but if it was up to me I'd have another in another year or more. DH says not until the girls are 4 or 5....but by then I may be too tired and too old to make it happen. If we don't have another I think I will be happy with just the girls, as we feel so blessed to even have them. GL! I think it's hard to know....

jenn_darrin1515 · December 2010

Tofumonkey:
We'd like a 3rd, but are too scared of having twins again (spontaneous fraternals) so we aren't ever going to try!

this is my dh's main fear...

thanks for sharing ladies! I think we will stop talking about it for the next 6 months and then see how we feel about things then...it is a big decision (obviously) and maybe taking a break from thinking about it for now will help...

DarthNBJenni · December 2010

I always said, growing up, I wanted two children and having twins would be the perfect solution.

And now I have my girls, and some days I wish for a normal pregnancy, birth, and singleton. Now that I'm divorced, I don't see this happening in my near future.

However, I'm definitely open to it once my girls are in school full time. Or if I re-marry someone with children, we might not have another. Who knows.

ardilla · December 2010

After battling with IF, then having a very problematic pregnancy (PTL, shortened cervix, bedrest for 14 weeks (7 in the hospital), I just don't know if I can risk subjecting my family to all of that again. That said, neither DH nor I have done anything permanent about birth control. We toss the idea of #3 around every now and again but are probably done with just DS and DD.

McKenna04 · December 2010

I've always wanted 4.. SO only wants 3. We are waiting til the boys are 3 years old to try again and I am secretly hoping for twins again! (Yes- I am crazy) & yes I know it will get harder when they start moving and doing all the crazy things that babies and toddlers do- but it's worth it.

clarku2000 · December 2010

We're 95% sure we're done. I got the Mirena b/c neither of us are ready for anything permanent right now. We got pregnant with spontaneous fraternal twins right after my m/c, so we joke that we'd probably end up with another set of twins if we tried for a 3rd. We also want to make sure that we can give everything possible to our girls without being financially strapped (college, cars, etc)--right now 2 is perfect.

jbl126 · December 2010

We are definitely done. Though in my own mind, I go back and forth about possibly wanting another one. I used clomid to have the twins so if I couldnt get pregnant on our own, then i would not do clomid again for fear of having another set of twins. Financially, I just dont think we could do it and that is a huge part of not wanting another.

jamie217 · December 2010

We said 2 and done, esp after everything we went through to get pregnant!!!! The first 3 months were so hard, BUT lately now that my girls are fun and sleeping better I'm starting to forget how hard it was to get pg and the first 3 mos and have been thinking about a 3rd...but H is done and financially I think we can do more for two than we can got three...so I'm 95% sure were done!

janjag · December 2010

I totally hear what you are saying! I thought we were twins and done. I am an only child, while DH is one of 5 (including twins). For me 2 kids is a big family

I also was just feeling like I have a good handle on the girls, and was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel... like thinking about traveling with them more easily, maybe just being able to do more things with them as they got a little older.

If you decide to start trying now, your next baby would be at least 2yrs old, which (I hope!) makes a difference in how independent they'll be while you're trying to care for a newborn.

The question of taking away from the girls weighs heavy on my heart. But I think the first year will be hard and then things should start to get easier again. A local twin mom I know had another when her twins were 18mos. She said the first year was brutal. I'm really hoping that being almost 2 will help.

mlkwmu · December 2010

We are done. We got one of each. It's hard not having any family and friends nearby to help out in a pinch. Every once in a while someone will come and visit and help out. Now that they are getting a bit older, it's getting a bit easier, but there are still times I feel like they don't get the individual attention that they should. Plus we want to be able to pay for college, etc. 2 is perfect for us.

busybea · December 2010

We are 100000% done. We only wanted 2 kids and are blessed with three. As you can see the twins have an older brother and to be honest, if my twin pregnancy was my first one, I would have been done then and there. It was an awful pregnancy for me, compared to my singleton, which was a dream pregnancy.

Want a personalized experience?

Twins...and done?

Re: Twins...and done?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards