Need Advice Re; Baby Shower (NTTGPR)

KSquish9199 · December 2010

I have a question for you ladies and thanks in advance for any input!

A good friend of mine is pregnant, due to have her baby beginning of February. Her older sister is throwing her a baby shower on the 22^nd of Jan. It's a surprise party and the invitations were sent via email only. (Not sure how I feel about that but that's not my issue). When I received the email invite this morning, there was a note at the bottom that said the following "The proud parents-to-be have all the "big" items necessary for baby X's arrival. Please, if you are thinking of giving a gift, consider a gift card so they can purchase what they still need."

I'm kinda bummed! I love shopping for baby stuff (I dream while I do it lol) and I don't want to just give her a darn gift card. I guess I will if etiquette says I should, but really? I feel like I'm taking the easy way out and I feel bad that she won't have gifts to open assuming everyone invited listens and doesn't get her gifts.

If you were in my place, what would you do?

Buy her a gift card that she can use for items down the road (or things she doesn't get but needs) or put together a basket with items she will need down the road (ie: clothes, wipes, shampoos etc things that she will need for awhile). I obviously will avoid larger items because they apparently have everything. My DH suggested toys that they can keep tucked away until LO is old enough to need them.

What do you think?

amandaloren · December 2010

I think that is majorly lame! The fun part of a baby shower is to watch the mom to be open her gifts and see what she got! I would still buy her gifts anyways. Who the hell wants to watch someone open tons of gift cards? I wouldn't even go if thats all it was.

tlynnus · December 2010

Well, if you are concerned about etiquette then I say it is rude for the invite to include something some presumptuous.

You should get her something that you feel will be useful and that you enjoy purchasing.

KSquish9199 · December 2010

That's what I was thinking too! I mean, I know from my own Bridal Showers that it was fun opening the gifts, seeing what everyone got, wearing the goofy bow hat with the match bow bra lol I mean, that's what you do at showers. If we give them gift cards, she wont open them, who would when you already know what's inside. What is going to say "Oh look, Mary Jane got me one for $100, oh look, Lucy got me one for $50". Confused

mrsransom · December 2010

I would definitely go with a gift. For one, asking for gift cards is kinda rude. For two, how boring would that be if all she had to open at her shower were envelopes with gift cards in them? Half the fun of a shower is seeing the cute baby clothes and items that are opened. I would go with a cute outfit and a few useful items (diapers, wash, shampoo, etc.)

heather_09_15_07 · December 2010

I think etiquette says that you can't demand what gifts guests bring. So I'd go ahead and find them a nice gift, and screw that noise about demanding gift cards.

FyreFry5 · December 2010

I know what you mean about enjoying shopping for baby stuff, but I think I would stick with the gift card. Even the consumables like diapers and wipes are risky because moms can get picky about what they use with their children, and you wouldn't want them to go to waste.

However, if this happened to me, and it was one of my "good friends", I would probably just ask her what she would prefer. Or maybe get a cute outfit to top off the gift card.

The kid will be around for a while, so you'll have plenty of time to shop for cute but not-as-needed items

sewpinkgal · December 2010

In this case, I'd just get whatever you thought she might need for the baby and that you will enjoy purchasing. If you are concerned about sizing or having dups with anything, include a gift reciept so she can exchange if necessary. Happy shopping!

ClaraEarlene · December 2010

I know it's a surprise party, but chances are good the parents-to-be have a gift registry somewhere, wouldn't you think? You should try looking for one at likely stores. The sister said they have all the "big" items, which I'm guessing means crib, bedding, rocking chair, stroller, etc., but she probably still needs the stuff you mentioned. I would suggest getting some of that stuff and a gift card (if your budget allows). While a surprise party is nice, it's tough for a baby shower, since the parent's don't really get to request specific items.

Country Girl in the City · December 2010

I think that asking for gift cards is rude. DH and I have had many arguments about this because his family has no problems with asking for them. One thing that I do for gifts is buy a certificate for meals to be delivered after the baby is born. I don't remember what website I used but if you google gourmet food delivery you should be able to find it. I usually give a small gift like a onesie or something with it so that there is a gift to open.

nebrtwin · December 2010

I would suggest doing both so as to not step on the toes of the party planner (although I too hate the idea of giftcards), but yet get something that you would enjoy giving her more so than a gift card.

If you are thinking about something for the future, I know it's not very fun, but the gift my twin raved about was one where someone gave her the essentials for a sick baby. It included items such as a thermometer, baby Tylenol, and other such helpful baby items. Like I said, it may not be fun but the first time your friend's baby gets sick she would be very thankful to have those essential items (I know my sister was!).

PDXGal7868 · December 2010

tlynnus:

Well, if you are concerned about etiquette then I say it is rude for the invite to include something some presumptuous.

You should get her something that you feel will be useful and that you enjoy purchasing.

Yes

I personally think it's rude to tell people what kind of gift to bring when you are hosting a party (family isn't supposed to host showers anyway...?).

I would probably just get her a gift or get her a gift card and a gift to go with it. It's not like she couldn't return stuff if it wasn't her taste. Weird!

MrsTran021310 · December 2010

I am planning a baby shower for a good friend who is due in Feb also. This is her second child, but insisted on a baby shower b/c this is her first girl. So, the shower is actually a diaper shower. (She already has the big items from baby #1) But, she insisted on adding to the invitation that they prefer ONLY Huggies Pure & Natural diapers. Which I feel IMO is quite tacky. I even suggested that this may not be appropriate and that any diapers she didn't like she could easily exchange, but she felt like that was too much of a hassle.

In your case I think the guests should give the gift they feel is appropriate or they feel comfortable giving. So, I say do what you feel is right.

MrsTran021310 · December 2010

Bump burp

MrsTran021310 · December 2010

Opps! Sorry!

MrsTran021310 · December 2010

Stick out tongue

Country Girl in the City · December 2010

mrstran021310:

I am planning a baby shower for a good friend who is due in Feb also. This is her second child, but insisted on a baby shower b/c this is her first girl. So, the shower is actually a diaper shower. (She already has the big items from baby #1) But, she insisted on adding to the invitation that they prefer ONLY Huggies Pure & Natural diapers. Which I feel IMO is quite tacky. I even suggested that this may not be appropriate and that any diapers she didn't like she could easily exchange, but she felt like that was too much of a hassle.

In your case I think the guests should give the gift they feel is appropriate or they feel comfortable giving. So, I say do what you feel is right.

Did you actually put this on the invite?

MrsTran021310 · December 2010

Country Girl in the City:
mrstran021310:

I am planning a baby shower for a good friend who is due in Feb also. This is her second child, but insisted on a baby shower b/c this is her first girl. So, the shower is actually a diaper shower. (She already has the big items from baby #1) But, she insisted on adding to the invitation that they prefer ONLY Huggies Pure & Natural diapers. Which I feel IMO is quite tacky. I even suggested that this may not be appropriate and that any diapers she didn't like she could easily exchange, but she felt like that was too much of a hassle.

In your case I think the guests should give the gift they feel is appropriate or they feel comfortable giving. So, I say do what you feel is right.

Did you actually put this on the invite?

LOL. I didn't word it that way. It says...'Bill & Pam have requested Huggies Pure & Natural diapers'. And I put it on the back of the card, so some people may not even notice it. LOL.

Want a personalized experience?

Need Advice Re; Baby Shower (NTTGPR)

Re: Need Advice Re; Baby Shower (NTTGPR)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards