Multiples

How much help for the first couple of weeks?

I think I am totally screwed as far as surviving the first month of newborn twins lol.  My husband owns a seasonal business and works 9am-2am 6 days a week from June to Labor Day.  My twin due date is Aug 2nd.  Of couse we knew this when doing IVF and figured we would just figure it out, because we didn't want to wait another 2 cycles to do IVF.  I assume I won't be able to do it on my own, but maybe I can??
After 20 months, 5 IUIs, PCOS, Endo and IVF, our baby is here! Full IF history in blog
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Re: How much help for the first couple of weeks?

  • I actually do most of it on my own as well. DH works so he's not around all the time. He does help with the night feedings though which is glorious, let me tell you lol It's hard to do it solo, but it can be done. Some days I want to rip out my hair and just cry, but I'm so completely happy to have these munchkins at the same time so it's all okay. It works itself out. I will suggest KEEP THEM ON A SCHEDULE. My boys were in the NICU and I am very thankful they came home on a schedule. If they weren't, I might lost my mind completely.
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  • I did it mostly on my own, and I wanted it that way. 

    My situation was a little different since the boys were in the NICU for the first couple weeks.  By the time they came home, I was totally recovered, they were on a pretty good 3 hour schedule, and I just wanted alone time for the four of us without anyone around.  DH took a few days off, but it was pretty spread out since we all got released at different times.

    My mom started coming over at about 4 weeks so I could go run, but I was doing fine by myself during the day.  DH and I had it covered at night too.  Thankfully, I have pretty easy babies, so that helps.

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  • Lots of ladies on the board did it on their own. Some had no choice. My feeling is if you have help available to you -- use it. I couldn't manage on my own and had pretty much 24/7 help until 10 weeks. That's just me though.

    DH has been off work since the babies were born in October and my Mom and my IL's have taken turns staying overnight at our house to help us out with feeding/household chores/food ... etc. DH goes back to work next week on nights (400pm-200am). Family and friends will come over at night just to help me with their bedtime routine and keep me company. For the most part though I'll be on my own. Still freaks me out a lot.

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  • No official help here either.  IL's are always available to babysit any of the boys, but we've never had scheduled help (it's usually asking if they'll watch the boys so DH and I can go out to eat or something).  Is there anyway he can take the first week off or have a modified schedule for a week or two?  Keep in mind, at the beginning they sleep most of the day.  I think all 3 of my boys would wake up long enough to eat, coo a little, and then conk back out until next feeding for the first month or so.  I would definitely try to get him to help with the middle of the night feedings, even though he has to work, I couldn't imagine having to feed 2 screaming babies at 3:00am.  GL, you'll do fine.
  • Ok makes me feel less stressed.  I know my mom would stay with me but I think it would drive me crazy more than help.  And unfortunately since it's his business and his only employees are kids there's no way he can take even two or three days off.  And I can't imagine waking him during the 5 hrs of sleep he gets at night to help feed.  By that point in the summer, he's the walking dead.  He probably wouldn't be much help anyway! lol
    After 20 months, 5 IUIs, PCOS, Endo and IVF, our baby is here! Full IF history in blog
    ~Life After Infertility~
  • Hey 2bK!  I remember you from the GP board. Congratulations!  I am so happy to see you over here!

    I had a lot of help the first couple weeks.  DH was off work for 2 weeks and my parents were in town from Texas to help out.  I needed the help though since I was dealing with the baby blues pretty bad at that point.  I thought it would be crazy with my parents here helping out and I thought they would drive me crazy too, but their help was really a blessing!  My Dad washed bottles and made formula and my mom helped with feedings and making dinner for DH and I. It was very helpful!

    Congratulations again and keep us updated!!

    BFP July 09 - m/c Aug 09
    BFP Nov 09 - c/p Dec 09
    BFP Dec 09 - A&J born in August 2010 at 37w, 6d
    BFP Sept 11 - ectopic pregnancy/left tube removed
    BFP April 12 - E born December 2012 at 39w, 1d

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  • Just wanted to add that I did it mostly on my own, too.

     Yes, DH was home almost 2 weeks after my c-section, so I wasn't completely on my own from the start.

    You just do what you have to do, and while the hours may sometimes seem like eternity, the time really does fly by, and before you know it, you'll be wondering where that time went, and you'll feel very proud of yourself for making it through!

    At all my OB appts and pedi appts shortly after they were born, the nurses always went on and on about how in the world am I able to do it, and they were suggesting ways for me to find help...  But truly, like I said, you just do what you have to do and it goes by in the wink of an eye!

  • My dh had just started a new job (seasonal-construction) 2 weeks before we had the girls...so he got one day off (the day we were discharged from the hospital) and that was it...so I did overnights by myself from the start (he would help holding a bottle while he was pretty much sleeping most nights...but that was about it)

    My mother did stop in the first few days and then a couple times a week from about 10-2 and she would run out to do any shopping I needed and would load the dishwasher, make me lunch, throw in a load of laundry,  etc....it was VERY helpful to have her around to do this kind of thing for me so I could focus on the babies...and she helped with them too with a change and bottle feeding too...it was great...

  • imageTheNewFry:

    Hey 2bK!  I remember you from the GP board. Congratulations!  I am so happy to see you over here!

    I had a lot of help the first couple weeks.  DH was off work for 2 weeks and my parents were in town from Texas to help out.  I needed the help though since I was dealing with the baby blues pretty bad at that point.  I thought it would be crazy with my parents here helping out and I thought they would drive me crazy too, but their help was really a blessing!  My Dad washed bottles and made formula and my mom helped with feedings and making dinner for DH and I. It was very helpful!

    Congratulations again and keep us updated!!

    Hey! Can't believe how big your twins are!!

    After 20 months, 5 IUIs, PCOS, Endo and IVF, our baby is here! Full IF history in blog
    ~Life After Infertility~
  • I had help the first 4 weeks DH saved his 3 wks of vacation and my Mom saved 1 of hers. I really needed the help as the first 2 weeks I was still having Blood Pressure Issues from the pre-e after delivery. The csection recovery was fine just trying to get BP down was the problem.

    I am on my own now except my Dad comes Tues, Weds, Thrus morning for about 3 hrs to help.

    I do night feedings on my own Sunday night thru Thrusday night and DH does them Fri and Sat nights, although the only bad thing is they are on my routine at night so I have had to been waken up a few times cause they fussed for DH cause he didnt do feeeding right LOL Funny how they get  in a routine so young.

    Just make sure you take time for yourself even it is running somewhere close, I swear I go to CVS a few times a week ( its 2 min from house) and it feels good LOL

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  • really depends on your personality and what you think you can handle.  i really enjoy the help and the company.  ive gotten annoyed of the visitors cause they feed them and it seems they dont eat as well for everyone else and it screws up schedules.  (my own fault for letting them feed the boys) so if youre good at putting your foot down and letting people know what you want and dont want.

    Ive had people bring me dinners and thats great.

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  • i did it totally on my own...my husband was home the day we brought them home from the hospital and the next day he went back to work and i was totally alone. my family never even asked if i wanted help or if they could come over. i did everything 24/7 by myself my husband got up really early for work so i never asked him for help. i probably only got between 2-6 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period though...you can do it! you'll just figure out what works and you'll do it!
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