Don't know what to do! — The Bump
Special Needs

Don't know what to do!

My family and I are concerned about my cousin's little boy.  He is 4 years old, and I am concerned he has a form of Autism and/or ODD. She is pregnant, and she is due in May.  The family and I are worried about the safety of the newborn baby. 

My question is how do I bring these concerns up to my pregnant cousin?  I think deep down she knows there is a problem, but she is in denial.  When she talks about her new baby she often says, "God won't do this to me twice" in which she is referring to her not having another child with uncontrollable behavior.

He is currently in special ed pre-school for speech delay, however he does not show his behavior problems at school.  I would like to leave it to the teacher?s to mention something to her, but if he isn?t showing this behavior in school, I?m concerned that won?t happen.  I have read about kids with ODD, that do not show signs at school.  She has mentioned that the teacher said he seems ?anxious.?

Like I said, they have a new baby coming in May and we are worried that the new baby is going to make a bad situation worse.

What would you do?

Thank you all SO much!

Re: Don't know what to do!

  • Talk to your cousin if you are worried. Accept she may become angry, or deny there's a problem.
  • (I hit send too soon).

    Give her specific information about organizations/professionals to contact who may be able to help her child (early intervention services, psychologist, developmental pediatrician), and offer to assist her in making appointments. 

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  • I guess it depends on what the behavior is exactly. I'd go in with ideas to resolve the situation and people she can contact for help. That way, even if she gets angry or whatever she still has the contact info for someone who can help if she changes her mind.
  • If he is in a preschool for kids with speech delays I would bet $100 the teachers already know what you think they don't. If a child is truly on the spectrum there is no way to truly only be so at home and not at school. Let it be and it will be addressed by the profesionals, in fact I bet it already has been and she is just not being up front with you guys.
    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
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