Just found out today...

LaurenB15 · December 2010

We just found out today that our LO did not make it past about 9 weeks (we were supposed to be 13 today). We went for our 2nd drs appt and when they couldn't find a heartbeat they sent us to have a u/s to confirm. My husband and I are heartbroken and I can't help but feel like I've disapointed him and our families (they have NOT made me feel like this at all). I know its not my fault, but I keep thinking of all the things I might have done differently.

I have a D&C scheduled for tomorrow morning and I'm very scared. As if losing our baby isn't bad enough, now I have to endure this kind of procedure.

I'm sorry for all the losses on this board... I never thought it would happen to me.

mkwt · December 2010

Oh Sweetie, I am so very sorry for your loss. I also did the same thing, re-thinking everything I should have done differently, I raked leaves and cleaned carpets the weekend before I found out I miscarried, and trust me I felt horrible just thinking I had over done it. My doctor just kept reassuring me that I did nothing to cause it. She said it was just a "fluke" and there was absouletly no reason behind it, that sometimes it just happens. As for the D&C, I had one, and I can honestly tell you that I don't remember a thing. The staff at the hospital was sooooo nice to me, and the last thing they told me was to smell the beach ball (the mask) and I woke up shortly thereafter in recovery. The procedure was not bad at all, I cramped and bled for a few days afterwards but physically I was fine. Try not to be scared about it. It has been 6 weeks since and I can tell that time has helped. The holidays were awful, I miscarried the week of Thanksgiving, so it has been hard to cope at times. I am looking forward to trying again, which is something I said no way too at first. Try not to be hard on yourself and give yourself time to grieve and just know that this board is wonderful and if you need to vent, cry, scream, or need hope, we all know what you are going thru and are here for you. (((hugs))))

LDW80 · December 2010

I am so sorry. I just got home from having a D&C and like PP said you won't feel a thing. Just the prepping and waiting for the proceedure to take place is the hardest. I bled excessively during the proceedure (dr. thinks it might be a molar pregnancy but not 100% sure yet until after talking with pathologist) and I had to stay overnight last night. That was hard because I just wanted to get out of that horrible place full of bad memories but the nurses and my dr. were wonderful and very compassionate so that helped a little. If you ever need to talk I am here.

kimmiekp · December 2010

I second what pp said. This is NOT your fault... It's a really awful thing that happened to you by chance... Don't go blaming yourself. And don't put a guilt trip on yourself for "letting everyone down"... You didn't (I did the same thing too... this would have been my in law's first grandchild... they've been wanting one really bad). It's a horrible thing to go through but as PP said, everyone here is great and supportive. You have friends here who understand and sincerely care about you. My best to you!

Jenn478 · December 2010

I am sorry for your loss, take care of yourself tomorrow.

WifeyWynn0626 · December 2010

Aww, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I can only agree with what everyone else has said. Cry a lot, lean on your support system and just take it day by day. It's the only way to get through.

lavril · December 2010

I am soo sooo soo sorry for your loss. I had the exact same thing happen to me on Monday when they couldn't find the heartbeat. We also lost the baby at 9weeks. Truly devastating. The D&C isn't too bad (did mine today). Honestly the worst part is the emotions and having to say goodbye.

One thing that I wished someone would have told me is that we were asked what we wanted done with everything after the precedure. We could choose to bury our baby if we wanted to, and I didn't know I would have that choice. Some people don't get that option until they are 20 weeks. It depends on the state and hospital probably. Anyways, it was really hard to hear that question and not be prepared.

The physical part of the surgery is really easy and painfree. Afterwards I felt groggy, but I wasn't in a lot of pain.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me. Good luck tomorrow. T&P your way!

beccabec83 · December 2010

I know exactly how you are feeling! I found out I had a miscarriage on the 7th. We were supposed to be about 11 1/2 weeks, but the baby only made it to 9 weeks. I was hysterical for about 2 days. I also had to have a D&C and I have to say that was the easiest part of the whole process. Things have been getting easier but I still cry every once in a while. Just when I think I'm doing better something will remind me. Yesterday I found out a girl I went to high school with and got married just a couple of months after me is pregnant and due Aug. 9th. I should be happy for her but I just feel very envious. We are going to start trying again right away which is something I would not have thought was possible the first few days. The holidays were very hard. My mother-in-law got me some PJs for Christmas and found the need to tell me I got you a size large at first but now that you're not pregnant I took them back and got you a medium. She could have just not said anything! And this coming from a woman who experienced a miscarriage herself. My mother was very sweet and since our baby was due in June she took one of my Grandmother's old pearl earrings and had it made into a necklace for me so now I have something to remember he or she by. Anyways it does get easier day by day and I wish you a sticky baby for next time!

npilcher506 · December 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. We got the beginning of our bad news yesterday, and are living it today. Once again, I am so sorry. It sucks.

LaurenB15 · December 2010

Thank you all so much for the kind words and support. I'm so sorry to all of you who have had to go through this, but there IS hope ahead for us all! I'm feeling a bit better today... though its only 7:38am and I haven't seen or heard about any baby related things yet, but I'm nervous for the procedure. I just want it to be over and done with so we can move on and try again (I don't mean for that to sound harsh or uncaring since we are very heartbroken). I feel like the saving grace for us is that we didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, we never heard the heartbeat, we never felt the baby kick... though it was real for us, we weren't able to gain that sort of attachment which I'm thankful for at this point. My aunt lost a baby at 34 weeks... I can't even imagine.

Good luck to those of you going through a D&C today or tomorrow... I'm thinking of you all.

Just found out today...

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