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My DH won't let our 13 year old cat rest in peace...as in "go to a better place". WWYD?

Katalen72Katalen72
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

My DH loves our 13 yr old cat Julius so much. Julius was my cat before I married my DH for about 9 years.

Julius the cat is suffering. I took him to the vet and the vet says that with Hypertension, and a lot of renal issues, his kidneys are shutting down. He is just miserable.

The vet wants beaucoup amount of money to make Julius comfy which I and DH do not have. We are not poor, but we don't have 1k laying around to fix Julius, even which the vet says this won't fix him, just make him comfortable.

I would like to let Julius "rest in peace". But DH says I am being a cold, heartless biatch for wanting this for Julius.

I am at a loss here on what to do. Ugh.

Thanks.

 

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Re: My DH won't let our 13 year old cat rest in peace...as in "go to a better place". WWYD?

  • brideofscowboybrideofscowboy member

    Sounds stupid, but if Julius could talk...what do you think he'd say?

    We were in a similar situation with my beloved 9 year old cat Bosco. He had bladder issues. We had him hospitalized 3 times before we decided that maybe it was time. He was suffering. We were being selfish. He wasn't going to improve and it was just a vicious circle he was going through on our terms.  Sadly, his bladder burst and we didn't have a choice but to put him down.

    We were there the entire time he was going. It was hard, but it was the right thing. He was purring as he was letting go...I miss him like crazy, but it was his time.  (bah, I'm teary typing this).

    Best wishes in whatever you decide.

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  • VitskyVitsky member
    then i m a biatch right there with ya...i would put him down....he is 13 and lived a long life..
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  • Mrs.HizzoMrs.Hizzo member

    It's really, really hard to let an animal you love go. I'm dealing with this right now, too. My dog is 13, and he's got some issues. However, I think he still enjoys his life, and I'm willing to do what needs to be done for him at this moment in time. At some point, though, you cross a line, and I'd no longer be keeping him alive for him, I'd be doing it for me. And that's not fair. He's been a wonderful friend to me his whole life long, and he deserves to die with dignity when the time comes, even though it will be the hardest thing I've ever done and will break my heart. Wow, now I'm getting weepy.

    Anyway, I think you need to have a conversation and ask your DH if he feels this way for Julius's sake, or for his own. Because, unfortunately, pets at that age never really get "better." You can buy them some time, but that's about it, and if they're going to spend that time hurting and miserable, it's really no benefit to them. Good luck, I know this is tough.

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  • TSDTSD member
    I don't know what you should do but I just wanted to say sorry that you're going through this. I can imagine how difficult it is. Good luck. (PS- you're not being heartless. Not wanting him to suffer is love)
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  • Emilia0101Emilia0101
    I had the same issue a few years ago. Murph my cat from 5th grade had the same thing happen. My vet wanted 2k for thyroid removal onto of other things, he was nearing 16 at that point and I really felt like all I would be doing is providing a short term solution to a long term issue that wasn't going to go away. I made the choice to put Murph down and even had him cremated (moment of weakness) and laid to rest at my parents cabin in OR. I don't regret it one bit, he had a great life and my last memories of him were positive not death ridden. 
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  • jonnygurl76jonnygurl76 member
    Dh and i had to let our 14 yr old german shepherd go, she lost control of her hind legs and had 2 "episodes" where she zoned out and couldn't move.  Dh was against putting her down until he saw how much pain she looked like she was in....it was just time.  if your pet has had a rich, full life and it is their time to go, then let them go.  it is your responsibility to ease their pain and let them go....they cant speak up and tell you.  {{hugs}}. 
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  • steverstever member

    I had a much beloved 13 year old cat who had kidney failure when I was 6 months pregnant. They suggested dialysis(2 hours away and very expensive) as the only thing that could keep her going.

    DH was the voice of reason and her took her in to be put to sleep. Saddest I have ever been in my entire life. I still miss her so.

    Sorry, not really giving advice, just passing along my similar experience.

    Good luck and hugs.

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