- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
3rd Trimester
For already Mommies: Showing DH he's still loved
I am just curious to know how you handled life with a newbaby how did you make DH feel like he was still loved and not left in the dust. I will be a first time mom, but I already know that when the baby comes it's going to be really difficult to juggle taking care of a new baby and myself, and the house, and DH. I also know that the baby is going to be like the greatest thing EVER! and I will be head over heels in love! I just don't want DH to feel like I am forgetting about him. How did you DH's feel when the baby came? Did you do anything special to make him happy?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: For already Mommies: Showing DH he's still loved
Rachel and Jeff Married 5.29.05
Jason is 8
Elizabeth is 6
Katherine is 18 months
That's a really sweet sentiment, but just him knowing how much you need him once baby arrives should be sufficient. Struggling through the unknown territory of parenthood is a pretty good bonding experience, even with its difficulties. I was a hot mess after baby #1 and could barely take care of myself, let alone think of special ways to take care of DH. Give him some extra cuddles now and let him know how glad you are that he's here for you.
He's a big boy; let him take care of you.
I think you might have some unrealistic expectations. Ya, babies are great, but it's not always the "best thing ever." It's probably going to be the most difficult think you ever do. And not everyone falls head over heels in love. I`m not trying to be harsh, just honest.
As far as your DH goes, he's a grown man, so I wouldn't worry about him too much early on. Take care of yourself. Really, he should be concerned about taking care of you while you take care of the baby. This is especially true if you plan on breastfeeding.
I just try to make sure I verbally remind DH how much I appreciate him. I tell him he's a great dad/husband all the time. And I make sure that he knows I love him. In the early days, with an infant, it's hard to do much more.
We're both pretty focused on LO right now. It's not like I'm paying attention to the baby and ignoring him- we're both paying attention to the baby and that's ok. Right now she needs most of our energy and DH is focused on bonding with LO and supporting me with BFing.
This. You shouldn't have to worry about keeping house, taking care of baby and keeping your DH happy. You're the one recovering.
Mine felt good just to have a specific task to do - getting me water when I was BFing, etc. I tried to make sure I wasn't taking stress from baby/life changes out on him, and I tried to remember that even if DH was doing something with baby that wasn't exactly 100% what I would have done, that he needed to figure out how to take care of DS in his own way, and I needed to support him in that.
This! I had a tough time with the newborn stage, and DH spend most of his time looking after ME. We really really bonded during that time.
Maybe I need to talk to my DH. You all sound like you have really great supportive husbands. I don't feel like I have that support. I am 29 weeks and I do absolutly everything in the house now and work full time, when DH comes home we spend one on one time with eachother I have no issues with this now but I know it will be impossible to do it all once the baby is here.
I know it's not this way for everyone and some girls think I am insane and a lot of people think I am spoiling him, but this is how my family does things, and his family too. But it's also why I am concerned about how things will be after LO comes. I know it won't be easy,I can't do everything myself. I know DH will love the LO but honestly he doesn't seem as keen on having a baby as I am, he rarely talks about it, he hasn't read any books or anything.
I guess I will just have to talk to DH and let him know I need some more help so that I am not to exhasted to spend time with him.
He might surprise you. This is my third pregnancy, and my husband has not shown me much special treatment during any of my three pregnancies (well, admittedly, he's done a lot of dishes lately) but he has been a tremendous support each time baby is born.
Don't expect him to completely fill your shoes (all the things you do now) and try to make sure he has reasonable expectations too. Things will slide. Sometimes parenting a newborn absolutely exhausts two whole people and you have to call in extra help. But the cool part is that you're in it together and you're a team. Up till now, your husband may have not felt that needed because you are so self-sufficient. But this can be his chance to really shine and step up and be your hero.