Parenting after a Loss

Anyone else have a LO that does not fall asleep on his/her own??

This is taking more out of me than the sleep strikes/nursing strikes ever did. I'm really trying to follow Healthy Sleep Habits but it just seems like glorified CIO. LO fought all of his naps today, and the only reason he got any daytime sleep is because I put him in the swing and moved him to the crib after he passed out.

All I ever read is babies that are easy to put down. Is there anyone else fighting this fight? DH said to just leave him there but he hasn't been listening to the crying all day like I have.

It's making me dread nights again. :-(

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Re: Anyone else have a LO that does not fall asleep on his/her own??

  • For about a month she would put herself to sleep and now she doesn't. I don't know why but she cries as soon as I put her down.
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  • imageshall923:
    For about a month she would put herself to sleep and now she doesn't. I don't know why but she cries as soon as I put her down.

    How do you get her to sleep, when she eventually does?

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  • if you had asked this one week ago (in fact i think someone did, but it may have been on another board) i would have said there was no way my LO would fall asleep on her own. but for the past few nights i've been putting her down awake and with a little butt patting and pacifier help, she has managed to fall asleep on her own. and without crying! she'll fuss, but i'll be able to calm her down without picking her up.

    i really think it goes in phases. sometimes she's been easier to get to sleep than others. right now it seems like it's going pretty well. but that doesn't mean it will last. for months i've had to rock her and bounce her to sleep, and if i didn't she'd scream bloody murder. anytime i tried to put her down awake, she would just get more and more worked up and no amount of butt patting would help! so i know how you're feeling. try to take it one night at a time. just because she needs mama's help falling asleep now doesn't mean she will in a few weeks!

  • imageSallyCampos22:

    imageshall923:
    For about a month she would put herself to sleep and now she doesn't. I don't know why but she cries as soon as I put her down.

    How do you get her to sleep, when she eventually does?

    Usually I have to nurse her until she falls asleep. Last night that didn't even work. We walked her around until she was out. For naps lately I have just been holding her. If I put her down she cries and then is cranky because she missed her nap. I know it is a bad habit but I don't know what to do. 

  • Ha! DS didn't put himself to sleep until 12+ months!!! I'm not a huge fan of that book. That author is so pretentious!
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  • imageshall923:
    imageSallyCampos22:

    imageshall923:
    For about a month she would put herself to sleep and now she doesn't. I don't know why but she cries as soon as I put her down.

    How do you get her to sleep, when she eventually does?

    Usually I have to nurse her until she falls asleep. Last night that didn't even work. We walked her around until she was out. For naps lately I have just been holding her. If I put her down she cries and then is cranky because she missed her nap. I know it is a bad habit but I don't know what to do. 

    Me neither!

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  • imagelkstor:
    Ha! DS didn't put himself to sleep until 12+ months!!! I'm not a huge fan of that book. That author is so pretentious!

    Thank you!!!!

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  • If you figure it out, let me know. DS cried for 30 minutes before bed tonight. I was rocking him, walking, bouncing, etc. Nothing was working. I finally turned on the shower and rocked him in the bathroom which eventually worked. I read Healthy Habits but it sounded like CIO to me which I am not a fan of.
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  • imageKelleyBean:
    If you figure it out, let me know. DS cried for 30 minutes before bed tonight. I was rocking him, walking, bouncing, etc. Nothing was working. I finally turned on the shower and rocked him in the bathroom which eventually worked. I read Healthy Habits but it sounded like CIO to me which I am not a fan of.

    Me either. I will let her fuss a little. When she is just babbling her displeasure I let her lay there but if she starts crying I go in.  

  • I almost had him down after nursing him to sleep but he popped his eyes open and got upset as we were heading out of his room. DH's trying to bounce him on the exercise ball to see if that helps. He started yawning at 5:30 and no dice yet. This is going to be the death of me next week when I go back to work after winter break is over!
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  • imagelkstor:
    Ha! DS didn't put himself to sleep until 12+ months!!! I'm not a huge fan of that book. That author is so pretentious!

    And a jackhole. 

  • None of my children really put themselves down well.

    With DD (who is 8 now), we'd do bath, read, and nurse until asleep or darned close and then she'd go in her crib after 6 mos of age.  Before that we coslept.

    With DS (who is 4 now), it was the same - though he didn't go into the crib until 9 mos of age.

    Both self-soothed after about a year or so and would eventually settle down to sleep with back pats, songs, etc..  I found The No Cry Sleep Solution to be helpful for them.

    Now DD is only a month old.  We babywear and cosleep and honestly, I'm not even at the point where I can put her down, really.  She's very high needs.  You're not alone with the not-putting-themselves-to-sleep kiddo.

  • I'm SOOOO glad to see I'm not alone! Lately nothing seems to be working except nursing to sleep, and even that is hit-or-miss. He's still not asleep, now we've got him in the swing. The kicker is that he's so chipper and excited to see us, it makes me feel guilty that we're working so hard to get him to sleep when I know DH in particular gets very little evening time with him.
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  • Sally...while Addison sleeps well (most of the time -- tonight was a bit of an exception), she hasn't self-soothed yet.  For naps, I usually let her sleep on my chest (DH doesn't do this when I'm working or sleeping after working overnight though.).  At night time, we diaper change, nurse, and rock.  Or sometimes, I'll get lucky and she'll fall asleep nursing.  Most of the time, she stays asleep on her own, but if she cries, I go back and get her.  For the most part, just doing that, she's been STTN since 8 weeks.  It might not follow the books, but it works for us.  I know that eventually we'll have to change the system a bit, but our pedi said she's too little to be 100% self-soothing at this age. 
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  • imagepapetvet:
    Sally...while Addison sleeps well (most of the time -- tonight was a bit of an exception), she hasn't self-soothed yet.  For naps, I usually let her sleep on my chest (DH doesn't do this when I'm working or sleeping after working overnight though.).  At night time, we diaper change, nurse, and rock.  Or sometimes, I'll get lucky and she'll fall asleep nursing.  Most of the time, she stays asleep on her own, but if she cries, I go back and get her.  For the most part, just doing that, she's been STTN since 8 weeks.  It might not follow the books, but it works for us.  I know that eventually we'll have to change the system a bit, but our pedi said she's too little to be 100% self-soothing at this age. 

    If he'd just go to sleep I'd be fine with whatever method it took to get him there. But nothing is working. We're going on 5 hours (yes, I said 5) where he's been showing all the signs of desperately needing to go to sleep and absolutely refusing to do so. I'm at the point where he's back in the crib fussing. But I won't be able to leave him there because he's been doing this all day and I can't take the crying anymore. 

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  • imageSallyCampos22:

    imagepapetvet:
    Sally...while Addison sleeps well (most of the time -- tonight was a bit of an exception), she hasn't self-soothed yet.  For naps, I usually let her sleep on my chest (DH doesn't do this when I'm working or sleeping after working overnight though.).  At night time, we diaper change, nurse, and rock.  Or sometimes, I'll get lucky and she'll fall asleep nursing.  Most of the time, she stays asleep on her own, but if she cries, I go back and get her.  For the most part, just doing that, she's been STTN since 8 weeks.  It might not follow the books, but it works for us.  I know that eventually we'll have to change the system a bit, but our pedi said she's too little to be 100% self-soothing at this age. 

    If he'd just go to sleep I'd be fine with whatever method it took to get him there. But nothing is working. We're going on 5 hours (yes, I said 5) where he's been showing all the signs of desperately needing to go to sleep and absolutely refusing to do so. I'm at the point where he's back in the crib fussing. But I won't be able to leave him there because he's been doing this all day and I can't take the crying anymore. 

    ((((hugs)))) - do you think he's teething?  I keep thinking that is what upset Addison today.

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  • imagepapetvet:
    imageSallyCampos22:

    imagepapetvet:
    Sally...while Addison sleeps well (most of the time -- tonight was a bit of an exception), she hasn't self-soothed yet.  For naps, I usually let her sleep on my chest (DH doesn't do this when I'm working or sleeping after working overnight though.).  At night time, we diaper change, nurse, and rock.  Or sometimes, I'll get lucky and she'll fall asleep nursing.  Most of the time, she stays asleep on her own, but if she cries, I go back and get her.  For the most part, just doing that, she's been STTN since 8 weeks.  It might not follow the books, but it works for us.  I know that eventually we'll have to change the system a bit, but our pedi said she's too little to be 100% self-soothing at this age. 

    If he'd just go to sleep I'd be fine with whatever method it took to get him there. But nothing is working. We're going on 5 hours (yes, I said 5) where he's been showing all the signs of desperately needing to go to sleep and absolutely refusing to do so. I'm at the point where he's back in the crib fussing. But I won't be able to leave him there because he's been doing this all day and I can't take the crying anymore. 

    ((((hugs)))) - do you think he's teething?  I keep thinking that is what upset Addison today.

    It's possible, although he's been in a pretty decent mood all day, except when it comes to efforts to make him sleep. I haven't checked his gums in awhile but it's definitely possible that he's teething this week.

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  • Um, all babies are NOT easy to put down!  That is not true, so don't let it get you down.

    DD1 didn't start falling asleep on her own until around 6 months.  She didn't STTN until 8.5 months and her napping was absolute crap until 9 months.  

    DD2 doesn't put herself down either - but I don't expect her to.

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  • If he'd just sleep at all I'd be ecstatic. This fighting sleep stuff is driving me up a wall. I've tried letting him CIO (and I hate it) but he gets so worked up if we leave him in there that it's impossible to work him back down. We've tried everything else 5x over tonight and he still won't sleep. I'm about ready to cry.
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  • Some babies just have a very VERY tough time going down.

    DD's been awake since 4:30.  She'a a MONTH old.  By all accounts, she shouldn't really be awake very long before she goes back to sleep, but, well, we just make Energizer Bunnies in the Grr_Aargh household.

  • I nursed DS 1 to sleep most nights when he was an infant. Logan is the same .. I am not fighting it
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