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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
If you brought LO to daycare dirty
Would they bathe him/her? I have been watching my friend's relative's baby 3x a week and she is so dirty. I have to hold my breath when I change a pee diaper because her crotch smells so disgusting. My child has never smelled like that before. The first time I watched her at 3 months old, her nails had never been cut since she was born. I have started cutting them because she scratches me, but they have so much dirt up underneath them, I have to sanitize the clippers afterwards. I don't know what to do. She smells so badly, I don't want to hold her. Of course I do hold her because I would feel guilty otherwise, but I am really upset with how dirty this baby always is.
My friend told me to bathe her when she first drops her off but honestly, I don't want to have to wash someone else's baby because they don't. And since I am her daycare, is that normal daycare protocol? Would they wash your child if you brought them dirty 3 days a week?
I guess I'm just upset that this baby doesn't seem to be cared for regularly or properly. I hate saying that because I don't know that the mother never bathes her, but the smell of her crotch alone is enough to indicate that she is not getting wiped good or washed very often at home. Any advice? I don't feel completely comfortable telling the mother my concerns since we are not close and I don't want to offend her. Also, maybe she is bathing her every night. Considering the condition of her black nails and smelly crotch, I highly doubt it.
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Re: If you brought LO to daycare dirty
this. I would do it just because I feel bad for that little girl
Maybe send out a refresher note to all the parents reminding them about your policies with the start of the new year?
ie: Types of foods to bring, how many changes of clothes, diapers, etc..
At least then you're sending it out to everyone and not isolating just that parent. Then if it continues, you can approach the mother with it.
I feel bad for the poor LO! I don't think a day care should have to, but if you are at home watching her and it is that bad, please just take care of that little one!
I think I missed the age, but how old is she now?
I would give her a bath and then I would probably lie and say we were playing or eating or something, and she got her hands/face filthy, so I gave her a bath.
That way you wouldn't have to have the awkward conversation about why you gave her a bath.
This.
(c) Holly Aprecio Photography - Oct 2011
Our in-home DCP recently 'fired' one of the families whose child she was caring for, and while it was not the sole issue, bathing and lack thereof was one of the major issues.
Initially, she was simply bathing the child on an almost-daily basis, but when it became clear that there were other issues that the parents seemed unwilling or unable to address on their own (they would send 1 diaper with her...for the entire day, child's long hair was rarely maintained: tangled and unkempt, child has obvious yet apparently undiagnosed developmental issues that were making it difficult for our DCP to manage her along with other small children) our DCP finally had to tell them that they had to go somewhere else. It was almost as though they expected our DCP to warehouse their child and clothe, feed and bathe her FOR them. I feel awful for the child, but it was to the point where all of us were uncomfortable with the amount of parenting that was being left up to our DCP.
Yup, this.
I'd keep the friend out of it, giver her a bath and start writing notes/taking pictures. talk to the mom when she picks her up. If it continues, I would report her. I bathed my son 2x a week at that age (very sensitive skin) and he wasn't smelly. How sad.
completely agree with this.
i feel so awful for the LO. makes my heart sad how someone could neglect their baby like that.
I don't know how to answer this question b/c i would NEVER bring my child to daycare dirty. I think IF i did, that my daycare would probably bathe her. I know when DD gets food all over or spills milk on herself, or has a poo-splosion, our day care provider will definately give her a bath.
This. Madeline gets a bath once, maybe twice a week due to eczema. However, she never smells. If the child's that dirty, it's not just irregular bathing that is problematic.
Honestly, that sounds neglectful. Poor baby. Does your friend have PPD or something like that? I'd talk to her about it.
But FWIW, I didn't cut my oldest' nails until about 4 months because I was so frightened to cut him.
Go Phils!!
From what my friend says, she is a semi-hoarder. I don't think she is purposefully neglectful, but just doesn't know better. Maybe she thinks changing a diaper is supposed to be smelly so she doesn't think anything of her baby's crotch smelling like it does. This isn't poo-stench though. It is the worst thing I have smelled on another person. The baby could have an infection it's so bad.
If this child were in a daycare centre, I am willing to put money on the fact that
a) the parent would be spoken to
and
b) CPS would be called if nothing happened after talking to the parents.
As her caregiver, you need to speak up and talk to the parents, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you.
When I worked at a center we had a little girl that this. We started giving her a bath every 2 days if we could tell that she hadn't had one. We also noticed that they weren't changing her diaper at home, we would change her right before mom came and put a pink dot on her diaper. She would come in with that same thing. We documented it all and reported it.
Please do something for this poor baby girl.
I would call the mom at the next diaper change to tell her that there is a foul odor coming from her daughter's vagina and that you think she should take her to the pediatrician to check for an infection. I would say "I'm going to bathe her to see if it helps". I would let the mom know if it helped or not at the end of the day. I would keep doing this for a few days to a week. If the mom doesn't call to make an appt with a pedi, I think I would have to report her. Especially if I suspected an untreated infection. This is awkward and difficult for you, but you have to speak up for that poor baby.
Exactly this. I would be concerned that the child's lack of hygeine represents a much larger problem within the home. I used to do investigations for CPS and have seen some houses that would make your skin crawl. Of course, the risk is that they would not return the child to your care if you said something, but in that case I would proceed to calling CPS. Sorry that you got put in this situation and I feel so badly for this poor little girl.
Error, duplicate post
WTF? The child is obviously neglected - you need to call child welfare.
If she comes to daycare that stinky and w/ dirty fingernails, obviously something is amiss. You need to report it.
I'm not a real daycare. I just care for her 3 days a week in my home. She is a family member of my friend. I need to talk to the mother because I would feel like a douche reporting something that I don't know all of the facts. My friend says that no one is allowed at their house since she is a hoarder so no one really knows how clean they are with the baby. The baby was very sick when she was born so they didn't want her in DC around a lot of other babies. That's when they hired me on a trial basis. I love watching her, but can't deal with how differently we care for our children. I honestly don't think they are neglecting her on purpose. I think she just doesn't know how to clean a baby girl's vagina. I know I have to talk to her about it, it's just so freakin' awkward telling another mother that she needs to do something better/differently.