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trying to be happy

onehope1285onehope1285
in Trying to Get Pregnant

This Christmas Eve I found out that my sister in law is pregnant. I am happy for them and trying to be supportive. I think that the reason that I am having such a hard time being supportive is because my sister-in- law before I got married asked me if I could wait a couple of years after me and my husband got married to have kids because she wanted to have the first grandchild. She asked this because we got married 6 months prior to her getting married. Since we were engaged and planning on moving. I told her that we were planning on having kids once we were settled. Our move did not work out and we moved back up here so we waited for kids. We started trying in May of this year and found that it is more difficult than we thought it was going to be.

   So this Christmas Eve after we found out that they are pregnant we also found out she got pregnant the next month after stopping birth control. And my father in law went on explaining that it was because are healthy. (My husband has crohn's disease so I was caught off guard by him saying this but they also did not know that we are trying). I tried being supportive of my sister in law by asking questions. Gave her information on the development of the baby and in turn from her got a not so pleasant response back.I am really trying to be supportive but I still have her past comments and request in the back of my mind and was not fond of her response to me giving her information. I think I just needed to vent it out. I might just be overreacting.

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Re: trying to be happy

  • CamJack momCamJack mom member

    I dont think you are overreacting as far as your response, that would rub me the wrong way as well.

    However, when you do get pg, you wont want that same sister in law giving you advice on the developing baby either.

    I am sure if she was trying to get pg, she is also researching the development of her baby, so thats probably why her comments were not so pleasant (i dont think that gives her a reason to be rude, but I am just saying)

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  • psubride1012psubride1012

    If she seriously asked you not to get pregnant first, then I can say I am not surprised that she had the reaction that she did to your attempts to be supportive.  Sounds like she's pretty self-absorbed and not someone worth getting upset over.  Sorry that you have to deal with someone like that.  Sad


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  • doozer1345doozer1345 member
    I would just back off. You said your peice and it's obviously not welcomed. Whenever my SIL's get pg we won't be part of the experience. When I first married DH his family was always really cold to me and he said that's just how they are even to him. I kept trying and trying. They kept letting me down. I finally gave up and moved on. I have a lot less disappointment in my life due to that and b/c we've just stayed at arms length they've actually wanted us around and have been a lot more open to our views and help on things. GL I know the disappointment you're feeling
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  • bubbles0568bubbles0568
    Ugh. . . Frustrating!!! I have a similar situation It's like everything is a competition to get to see who can do it first only she's the only one making it a competition. I definately don't make life plans around her and don't tell her my plans like how we are TTC because I know it would just make her jump the gun to get there before me... annoying!!
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  • jwls84jwls84 member
    Hi, I am new here, but I just want to say that when I read your post I was shocked that someone would actually ask you not to get pregnant just so that they could have the first grandchild! I am so sorry you have to deal with someone like that, its definitely not fair to you or your husband.
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  • jillybean1012jillybean1012
    First of all, no one has the right to tell you and your DH when you should have kids. That is a decision that is no one else's but yours. So asking you to postpone starting a family is unbelievably selfish. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. In the future you should consider spending less time with them if they are going to act that way towards you. 
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  • onehope1285onehope1285
    I figure that I will just be supportive from a distance of her pregnancy. I am just hoping that my husband and I can get pregnant since we have been trying for about 9 months now. I am going to just focus on my husband and I starting a family rather than what has happened in the past. Thank you all for your comments. Hopefully I can stop remembering what she asked in the past and be able to just enjoy the fact that my husband and I are going to have a niece or nephew in August.
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