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Double Baby Shower.. ok/not ok?

brandy3511brandy3511
in 3rd Trimester
Me and my neice are both prego with girls!!! she is 8 days before me... this is my second child and this is her first... We dont have much of girls in our family and friends are in and out...so we are stuck having to do our own babyshower's.... do u think its wrong of me to ask her if we should join them..? me and her are bff and yet i just dont know if she would like her own and all considering it being her first!
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Re: Double Baby Shower.. ok/not ok?

  • akemroseakemrose
    I guess it doesn't hurt to ask. However, I personally would not. I would imagine she would want it to be all about her and her baby since it's her first. I would not want my baby shower with somone else..especially that already has a child. A lot of people think its not a good idea to a have full baby shower if you already have a child, but every situation is different. I would just do whatever you feel comfortable doing. GL to you!
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  • jamacattackjamacattack

    imageakemrose:
    I guess it doesn't hurt to ask. However, I personally would not. I would imagine she would want it to be all about her and her baby since it's her first. I would not want my baby shower with somone else..especially that already has a child. A lot of people think its not a good idea to a have full baby shower if you already have a child, but every situation is different. I would just do whatever you feel comfortable doing. GL to you!

    I totally agree

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  • EmjayTheHuntedEmjayTheHunted member

    imagebrandy5031988:
    Me and my neice are both prego with girls!!! she is 8 days before me... this is my second child and this is her first... We dont have much of girls in our family and friends are in and out...so we are stuck having to do our own babyshower's.... do u think its wrong of me to ask her if we should join them..? me and her are bff and yet i just dont know if she would like her own and all considering it being her first!

    I hope you have on a flame-resistant suit.  Also, please don't ask this in the baby shower board.  Oh, and the word prego is moronic...  unless you are referring to spaghetti sauce. 

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  • monlyn9monlyn9 member
    You do not host your own shower. If someone does not offer to host, you don't have one. If the host wants to do a double shower, then this matter can be discussed. Until someone offers to throw a shower for each of you this is a non-issue.
      
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  • pixieprincsspixieprincss member

    Rather than hosting your own showers, I think the nicer option would be for you to host a shower for her since she is the first-time mom. Yes, you are very PG but hopefully you still have the energy to put together at least a small something if you feel well enough to host a shower for yourself. Even though you don't have many girls in your family and friends, you still must have enough people in your life to help if you have enough people to invite. Could someone on the potential invite list help you host?  What about having her DH help you?

    As for your own shower, while I am in no way against baby showers for 2nd babies (though some women are), I think it is not appropriate to host one for yourself. You just have to wait and see if someone chooses to throw you a party. If not, a meet-the-baby party once he/she is here would be appropriate or even a casual GTG with friends before the baby gets here that is not focused around gifts or the baby--but really just about fun times with friends.

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  • BeetleLinz1125BeetleLinz1125 member
    imagepixieprincss:

    Rather than hosting your own showers, I think the nicer option would be for you to host a shower for her since she is the first-time mom. Yes, you are very PG but hopefully you still have the energy to put together at least a small something if you feel well enough to host a shower for yourself. Even though you don't have many girls in your family and friends, you still must have enough people in your life to help if you have enough people to invite. Could someone on the potential invite list help you host?  What about having her DH help you?

    As for your own shower, while I am in no way against baby showers for 2nd babies (though some women are), I think it is not appropriate to host one for yourself. You just have to wait and see if someone chooses to throw you a party. If not, a meet-the-baby party once he/she is here would be appropriate or even a casual GTG with friends before the baby gets here that is not focused around gifts or the baby--but really just about fun times with friends.

    I not only agree with this, but also with what the pp's have said.  It wouldn't hurt to ask her, but I think that she might want her own day.  I know I do!  I think if you threw her the shower that would be even more special than if you had it together.

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  • kwitt22kwitt22 member
    I agree with the PP, do not ask if you can have a double shower, thats kinda tacky. Also as a guest I would not like being invited to a double shower. It seems like it would be twice as long as a normal shower present wise. Also if I was your friend who did not know your niece and was invited to her shower I would be pissed bc I would feel like I had to buy double presents, for someone i didnt even know.
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  • JustOneJustOne

    So many no's are about to be said.  No, I would not be good with having a double baby shower, all first time mothers have that right to have a shower that is all about their child and not have to share in the spot light.  No, I would not ask her.  No, I would not host one for myself.  And no, I would not have one if I already had a child.

     

    All of that being said....  I would offer to host one for her.  It is her first, and it would be a nice gesture.  Especially since you are best friends.  

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  • WannaBeCrunchyMamaWannaBeCrunchyMama member

    imageakemrose:
    I guess it doesn't hurt to ask. However, I personally would not. I would imagine she would want it to be all about her and her baby since it's her first. I would not want my baby shower with somone else..especially that already has a child. A lot of people think its not a good idea to a have full baby shower if you already have a child, but every situation is different. I would just do whatever you feel comfortable doing. GL to you!

    Ya. I think the combination of you throwing your own shower/it's your second makes it somewhat inappropriate. 

    I'm all for having multiple showers. I don't have a problem with it at all.

    But a second baby/throwing it yourself is a bit much.

    Let her have her own shower. Or better yet, throw it for her.  

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  • kesryakesrya member

    My sister in law is pregnant, due two months after me. My aunt who lives across country asked if we would do a double shower b/c she could afford the airfare once - but felt uncomfortable coming just to one and not the other.  I hadn't even thought about that possibility until she asked, but actually I think it would have been a great idea and I would not have minded "sharing" the day with her at all.  In fact, I've really enjoyed being able to get closer to her "sharing" all the pregnancy related stuff we've both been going through together.  So if your cousin truly is your bff, I think it could be fun to share -- it might be different if it was a random friend, but sounds like you two are close.  Two of my classmates in grad school had a joint shower that our class threw for them, and there was no problem "sharing", again b/c we were al a very close group of friends.

    That being said, unfortunately my sister-in-law lives two states away, so though it would have been convenient for our family, it would not have been for any of our friends and it might have been uncomfortable for the friends we don't share in common who might feel obligated to buy a gift for someone they don't know.  Do you and your cousin share a common group of friends?  If not, is there a way you could each let your individual friends know that while the "party" is shared, you in no way expect to receive gifts from the other's group of friends?

    I have no problem with second showers - everyone I know who has had a shower for each of their children. I've never heard a fuss or complaint about it until coming to thebump and seeing all the women here get all worked up about it.

    Also - I am throwing my sister-in-law's shower along with my mother, and my mother is throwing mine with her help.  Perhaps you could throw "her" shower for her and she could throw yours for you - and they happend to fall on the same day.  That is another way to cut down on guests feeling obligated to get presents for someone they don't know - have separate sets of invitations that are specific to the individual person, and then guests don't feel awkward and obligatd to bring a second gift.

     

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