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Baby Shower Burden

ShivaAminaShivaAmina
in 3rd Trimester

With a little over 4 weeks left in the home stretch I never thought that I would be having my baby shower this late in the game, but the MIL said that she wanted to wait until after the holidays.  I completely understand her decision but even after the passing of the Christmas holiday period, she has yet to tell me anything about when or where for a baby shower.  And although I know that she may be going for a surprise, she and I have already discussed it and I know that it's coming so I don't see why there is such a delay in cemented plans. 

Now one of my co-workers wants to throw me a simple office baby shower and has offered to combine the two showers together at her home so that I won't have to travel the 1 hour distance so late in my pregnancy to reach my MIL for the shower.  I have been trying to reach my MIL for days now and have not been able to reach her or get a call back.  I don't really want to have to travel the 1 hour one way trip to get to her baby shower, especially since the H will have to work on all my free days and I'll have to make the journey both ways alone.  What should I do about consolidating the showers? Is it even appropriate to do, and would I be wrong for pressuring the MIL into an actual date with delivery approaching so quickly and family coming in from out of town?

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Re: Baby Shower Burden

  • hollyanne04hollyanne04

    Can you just ask her about the shower since you already discussed it?

    Or perhaps you can have your co-worker reach out to her. That way, you stay out of it and remain polite, while at the same time learn her plans for your shower.

    Are you seriously not able to drive yourself around anymore?

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  • ShivaAminaShivaAmina

    "Are you seriously not able to drive yourself around anymore? "

     

    @hollyanne04 - I still continue to drive myself back and forth to work 5 days a week and the weekends have become my rest time.  The larger I've gotten the more difficult it has been for me to get a solid sleep before working 9+ hours a day.  I'm pretty much independent everyday all day with everything until my mother arrives a few days before the baby.

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  • AimeeL85AimeeL85 member
    I think the main problem would be that if you only have 4 weeks left, even if your MIL hasn't told you the details, she probably has them nailed down and the guests have probably received invitations with the details of when/where. They would all have to be notified of a last minute change which could really complicate things.
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  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member

    If you don't hear back from her by this weekend, tell the co-worker to combine the two showers. I would leave a voice-mail and let her know the co-worker has offered to combine the showers and you need a call back asap to make sure she hasn't already been planning one. Like made arrangements already.

    All I know about my shower is that it's on 1/29 and at my church. The rest is being planned by my bff and our friend.

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  • LifesPeachyLifesPeachy member

    If your MIL already said she is going to throw you a shower, I would respect that and not ask about combining the two. It would be like your co-worker is taking over the shower planning out from under your MIL.

    On one hand I can see why you want your co-worker to combine the two, because it's getting so late in the game that you're afraid MIL won't come through with any shower at all! On the other hand, you want to respect MILs wishes to throw you a shower.

    Is there anyway DH can contact his mother since she's not calling you back? How is she usually on keeping her word, is she flaky or trustworthy? That might help be a deciding factor too. Its weird that she's not getting back to you.

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  • adriasfadriasf
    Unless your MIL is a total procrastinator, I would assume plans are made and invitations are sent out.  Although it's strange you don't know the date, I think it would seem ungrateful of you to try to change things at this point when you originally gave her the green light to throw a shower after the holidays.  Could you ask your DH to call her and get the date out of her by any means necessary?
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  • Born2FlyBorn2Fly member

    You should let your co-worker do her own shower for you at work and let your MIL do whatever it is that she had planned.  I wouldn't suggest combining the two because your MIL should have some things finalized by now.  I do agree that she should be able to tell you something at this point. Have you asked your friends/family if they have received invitations???   

    I'm really curious about why she isn't calling you back though...weird. 

    With that said, you always knew you would be traveling an hour away so I think that is something you should suck up.  If the drive was going to be a problem then you should have asked for an alternate location when she 1st offered.  It's a poor excuse now. 

     

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