I'm feeling like cr*p today...paralyzed by all kinds of worries about whether we're going the right route w/ this and all the expenses, and how much more we can handle, etc.
My BFF just found out she's having a girl...for some reason attaching a s*x to her baby makes it even more painful for me.
And I'm turning 31 tomorrow. Blech. I guess it's better than the alternative, but I was 28 when we started this process. I'm really still here? 3 years later?
Sorry to complain, I just need to vent to someone who understands...someone please tell me this is going to be over soon and I'll have a baby (somehow) and be happy again!
TTC in 2008.  Stage II/III endo, Hashimotos hypothyroid, low morph (3%).
2 cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/Crinone=BFN.
 
IUI #1 - 4 Follistim/Ovidrel/IUI/Crinone = BFN.
IVF #1 - Antagonist w/ ICSI 4/10.  17 retrieved, 5DT of 2, BFN ![]()
IVF #2 - Long Lupron w/ ICSI 6/10.  15 retrieved, 3DT of 2, BFFN!!
Lap 7/21/10
IVF #3 - Clomid/Antagonist w/ ICSI 10/10.  14 retreived, 3DT of 3, BFP 10/20 but m/c.  No HB 11/15/10 - D&C 11/17/10.
 
FET - 2 blasts, 1 survived the thaw.  Transfer 2/19.  Beta #1 3/1 375, Beta #2 3/3 885, Beta #3 3/8 4261, Beta #4 3/11 9005.  U/S 3/8 1 sac 1 yolk, U/S 3/16 1 heartbeat 114bpm!
James born Oct. 24th 2011 via c-section at 38 weeks!
Surprise BFP - Jack born April 28, 2013 via VBAC after PTL at 33 1/2 weeks!
Re: BFF Having A Girl And 31st BDay Tomorrow
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
I am so sorry you are having a rough day. I am always wondering if I am doing the right things and always wondering if I am missing something when it comes to trying to get pregnant. So I can totally understand how you are feeling.
Remember that you will be a mom one day. It will happen one way or another and you will have an amazing family one day.
Patchen, I have no doubt that you will be a mom!
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. ((hugs)) We're here for you.
Happy Birthday!!
TTC since July 2008
IUI 1,2,3 BFN
IVF #1 C/P, FET 1,2,3 BFN
IVF#2 BFP
it's a girl!!
I completely understand you on both counts. I remember thinking "I still have a chance to have a baby in my 20s", then "I still have a chance to be pregnant in my 20s". For some reason it was really hard to deal with when both of those milestones passed. Also, I have a friend that got pregnant with a girl at the same time we started trying, and is now pregnant with a boy. It's hard for me to even look at her, especially since she knows some of what we are going through and made a HUGE public announcement about her second pregnancy. Blegh.
I hope this is the last birthday you have to spend dealing with this.
Jenn
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
my blog
::hugs::
you will be a mommy. you will.
TTC #2 since June '08
~*DD 10.21.07*~
dx unexplained
IUI #1-4 BFN
IVF#1 June 2011 BFN
IVF#2 Dec 2011
Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634
EDD 8/25
*PAIFW/SAIFW*