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Multiples
Toddler/stanger question am I over reacting?
So my husband and I don't see I to eye on this and that made me very
upset tonight. My MIL has a new boyfriend (they're both in their early
50s) and tonight is the second time we met him. I was very happy she had
invited us to dinner because we havent been over there in ages! Anyhow,
apperantly he had heard so much about my daughter, Isabella and he
seems really nice to her so tonight MIL decides to take a picture with this new guy of her near the christmas tree and calls my 2 year old over to be in the picture. The boyfriend, which I know nothing about but that she had found him on match.com and is an airplane pilot, suggests she can sit on his lap for the picture. Uuuummm..noooo..I dont know him and he acts like he's known us for a while and this is the second time we meet. Even then Im not comfortable with my 2 year old going to this guys lap. WTH??? Luckly she didn't go to him nor did she want to take the picture but when he asked I just looked at my husband like "is this guy serious?" I brought it up in the car, on my way home tonight and my husband tells me im over reacting!!! :-o He tells me how is that any different then her sitting on a strangers lap dressed as Santa? Umm..ok but this is some guy that moved in with MIL and now wants to be buddy buddy with my daughter, Im not having it! Am I the crazy one here?? I also told my husband that "sexual abuse" is most common and often happens to kids the the perpetrators ARE family members and "friends" of family members. My husband response was "We were both in the room babe" He doesnt freakin get it, got on my nerves! >=O
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Re: Toddler/stanger question am I over reacting?
Meh, unless you're getting a creepy vibe from him, I think you're probably overreacting. It's good for toddlers to be exposed to all kinds of different people, and I see nothing wrong with her sitting on someone's lap for a picture with you and your H right there with them. When you think about it, it really is no different than taking her to see Santa and letting her sit on his lap. If he had asked her to go into another room alone, or wanted to babysit her or something I'd say you reacted appropriately, but I don't see a problem with what happened.
As far as not wanting her to go to just anybody, start working with her now on "stranger danger." She's definitely not too young to start learning that you can only go up to a stranger if mommy or daddy are with you and say it's ok.
Me too.
After reading some replies, I have a few more things I'd like to add. I agree with PP that you shouldn't force her (I know you didn't), don't worry about hurting feelings, she needs to do things on her own terms.
DEFINITELY teach stranger danger, but let her know that if Mommy and Daddy are right there and telling her that it's ok, then it's a safe stranger (at the time). My grandma was very paranoid and now I'm very paranoid because of all of her warnings (my mom and I lived with her when I was little, and caution is good, paranoia is not).
Again, trust your gut above anything and anyone else (even your DH, mother's have a better intuition than fathers), but if he's not giving you a molester vibe, I think she's fine to be around him as long as they're supervised (MAYBE years from now you'll feel comfortable with her being around him unsupervised if you ever trust him). Keep in mind, most people are good, there's a very small percentage that hurt others. *this may be going overboard, but you could always check the sex offenders list just to relieve your worries a bit.