Ugh- I feel a pump & dump session coming on

Stacyc625 · December 2010

My inlaws are due for a visit tomorrow night. Either way you look at it- it is just not enjoyable at all. Even DH is dreading it. My FIL's long time girlfriend called to make arrangements of when they are showing up- she said they didn't want to come until DH is home from work and she wanted to know when this was. I told her around 630pm. She was taken back by that. I told her she was more than welcome to come eariler because I was home. She made a comment that, DH shouldn't work that hard to support 'us' ~ Umm excuse me?

This is the same woman who told me (when i was working FT 70hrs a week as a VP in corporate tax AND going to law school) that the reason why my refridgerator was less than immaculate and dinner wasn't made for DH when he was home was because 'women have other priorities now adays' (meaning I should SAH and have a clean house and dinner on the table) ::sigh::

So what is it lady, work full time (which i do anyway) and have DH work less (which he wouldn't) or stay at home and have a freakin GREAT fridge?

She said she would show up at 630. Fine by me lady. Less I have to deal with you. She then goes, 'You aren't breast feeding are you? because that makes me uncomfortable' I told her that I was. She goes, 'well it doesn't make any difference breast of formula- there are not benefits to BF'ing' I calmly told her, 'well if there are no differences then she shouldn't have any comments about my decision' and then I told her I would see her 630pm and hung up.

I have a feeling a lot of alcohol is going to be consumed to get through this visit.

My FIL is just as bad. When DH and I got married- (we were already living together in our house for over 5yrs). He was too cheap and didn't want to spend money on a hotel room. We told him that he wasn't allowed to stay at the house because that was where I was getting ready/dressed for the wedding. He was all p*ssed off and said he was refusing to come because he shouldn't feel pushed out of his son's house. We told him he was welcome any other time- but not the day of the wedding. He then pushed further and told me that i should get ready 'where i belong' ~ ::excuse me::??? referring that I should be gettnig ready at my parents' house (which I moved out of when I was 17)

Last time I checked I paid the mortgage and I belong in my house.

Thank goodness they live 13hrs away- because I seriously don't have the patience to deal with them more.

Stacyc625 · December 2010

The girlfriend also has some pretty wacky views as to why the United States has such high crime rates.

She says it is DIRECTLY caused by the lack of paid maternity leave for women (she is Canadian)- and they don't have the time to bond with their children and they put them in daycare and they are not loved and cared for- so therefore the United States has a bunch of 'hoodlum kids' running around causing crime and murders.

For the first 5yrs of my relationship with DH- I really did try to have conversations with them and 'understand' where they are coming from and have an intellegent conversation.... That was five years too long. I have since just nodded my head and chuckled.

Sammysu · December 2010

It's conversations like those that make me glad that DH's family doesn't like me and never wants to call or come around.

I am sorry you have to deal with them. Are they staying for a few hours or a few days? Hopefully just for a dinner type visit. Ugh... sucky situation. Sorry Stacy!

lms_bride · December 2010

Oh dear. They sound like a real treat. Aren't in-laws fun? I had an almost pump-n-dump this morning but for good reasons, not annoying ones. We went to dinner to celebrate my husband's actual birthday last night with good friends and I enjoyed a couple drinks. So fun. Luckily Travis didn't need to be fed last night and I'm doing ok this morning.

I say break out the vodka, gin, wine, whatever and get through it. That is why they invented breast pumps. Ha.

MAprincess · December 2010

They sound AWESOME. My FIL is exactly the same. He brings up topics with me that he thinks are going to push buttons. I have gotten pretty good at tuning him out. I mean, you are BFing so what does it matter what her views are on the subject. I am sure you aren't going to make a huge announcement, rip off your shirt and sit half naked in front of her, so she can learn to deal. And is she suggesting that if you worked, then your DH would only have to work part time? Because my DH gets home at 6:30, and back when I worked full time also, he STILL got home at 6:30. That is just the time he gets home. Good luck to you. I am sure you have mastered the blank stare for occasions such as these.

jennylynne_01 · December 2010

OMG, she has a lot of nerve coming into YOUR home and telling you that what you're doing makes HER uncomfortable. I say next time put them up in the rattiest motel in town and make them stay there! Hahahaha!!! They sound like quite the couple and I empathize with you for having to put up with that. Is there any way your dh will set them straight and tell them to stfu and act respectful towards your family when they are guests in your home? This way you don't look like the bad guy. It almost seems like the girlfriend IL has something against you, like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. You're never doing the right thing in her eyes and it sounds like she is either jealous or has some kind of problem with you.

Stacyc625 · December 2010

They will be here a couple of days.

I am totally mastered the ignoring their comments. really nothing bothers me with them anymore. I have learned that several years ago. They aren't going to change- so i can only change my attitude towards them.

No amount of talking/reasoning with them will matter. I have accepted that. They are just very socially inept people that either A. really don't know what NOT to say or B. Just don't care and want to push buttons.

Things have gotten much better when I have learned to just accept their odd and unacceptable behavior. Because Jenny is right- i am just damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Because I can guarantee you that if I said I WAS FF - she would say breast is best. Not that it even matters to me what she thinks. Because once they are gone- life goes back to being normal- always has in the last 10 yrs... and I don't foresee the next 10yrs with them being any different