I hate that I do this to myself

jennype · December 2010

I have convinced myself that this cycle is not going to work. I got a positive beta yesterday (107), too! I was so sure I would have a much bigger number since I was testing 11dp5dt. And the fact I have had +hpt since 5dp5dt. I now feel no symptoms (boobs no longer are tender and seem to have gone down in size). I'm feel like I'm preparing myself for the worse for our 2nd beta in the morning. My dh does not deserve this. Neither do I.

madelyn07 · December 2010

Ok, I'm going to sound harsh and mean and that is not my intent.

You have to stop this. You have no real reason to worry.

I understand your beta isn't the number you were *hoping* for but that doesn't mean anything. It isn't low. It hasn't not doubled. Pregnancy symptoms come and go. You can't keep doing this to yourself until you have a real reason to worry.

I understand it is scary and tough and all that. I've been in beta hell and I've lost a baby. I know how awful it all can be. But I firmly believe that until we have a REAL reason to worry, we have to accept things for what they are, be happy for where we are and what we have and try our best to not stress about the "what ifs". I'll never condone someone telling a person TTC to "relax and stop stressing and it will happen" but I do think that little mantra is applicable once pregnant...try to relax and try not to stress. Getting worked up, worried and stress wouldn't do any good.

Hang in there sweetie...we are all pulling for you!

MrsP71506 · December 2010

madelyn07:
Ok, I'm going to sound harsh and mean and that is not my intent.
You have to stop this. You have no real reason to worry.
I understand your beta isn't the number you were *hoping* for but that doesn't mean anything. It isn't low. It hasn't not doubled. Pregnancy symptoms come and go. You can't keep doing this to yourself until you have a real reason to worry.
I understand it is scary and tough and all that. I've been in beta hell and I've lost a baby. I know how awful it all can be. But I firmly believe that until we have a REAL reason to worry, we have to accept things for what they are, be happy for where we are and what we have and try our best to not stress about the "what ifs". I'll never condone someone telling a person TTC to "relax and stop stressing and it will happen" but I do think that little mantra is applicable once pregnant...try to relax and try not to stress. Getting worked up, worried and stress wouldn't do any good.
Hang in there sweetie...we are all pulling for you!

well said.

Don't worry hon! everything is going to be okay!

theworms · December 2010

cutie, you are pregnant, please try to not worry (read my mantra below).

((HUGS))

your number was fine and saldy we have no control over any of this so please do not cause yourself any more stress.

just keep telling yourself, today I am pregnant and I love my baby

jennype · December 2010

madelyn07:
Ok, I'm going to sound harsh and mean and that is not my intent.
You have to stop this. You have no real reason to worry.
I understand your beta isn't the number you were *hoping* for but that doesn't mean anything. It isn't low. It hasn't not doubled. Pregnancy symptoms come and go. You can't keep doing this to yourself until you have a real reason to worry.
I understand it is scary and tough and all that. I've been in beta hell and I've lost a baby. I know how awful it all can be. But I firmly believe that until we have a REAL reason to worry, we have to accept things for what they are, be happy for where we are and what we have and try our best to not stress about the "what ifs". I'll never condone someone telling a person TTC to "relax and stop stressing and it will happen" but I do think that little mantra is applicable once pregnant...try to relax and try not to stress. Getting worked up, worried and stress wouldn't do any good.
Hang in there sweetie...we are all pulling for you!

I think you need to come down here and slap me! My poor hubby wants to be happy, I should let him! I think I have become so used to disappointment.

madelyn07 · December 2010

jennype:
madelyn07:
Ok, I'm going to sound harsh and mean and that is not my intent.
You have to stop this. You have no real reason to worry.
I understand your beta isn't the number you were *hoping* for but that doesn't mean anything. It isn't low. It hasn't not doubled. Pregnancy symptoms come and go. You can't keep doing this to yourself until you have a real reason to worry.
I understand it is scary and tough and all that. I've been in beta hell and I've lost a baby. I know how awful it all can be. But I firmly believe that until we have a REAL reason to worry, we have to accept things for what they are, be happy for where we are and what we have and try our best to not stress about the "what ifs". I'll never condone someone telling a person TTC to "relax and stop stressing and it will happen" but I do think that little mantra is applicable once pregnant...try to relax and try not to stress. Getting worked up, worried and stress wouldn't do any good.
Hang in there sweetie...we are all pulling for you!
I think you need to come down here and slap me! My poor hubby wants to be happy, I should let him! I think I have become so used to disappointment.

Yes, you should let him be happy! It is a happy time!

And I completely understand being used to disappointment but something that has helped me is to say and think that *this* (meaning this IVF cycle for you) is something new and something you haven't been disappointed with before so you have no real reason to believe it will end in disappointment now. It is a completely different monster than TI or IUI...get what I'm saying?

meg_koole · December 2010

I agree 1000000% with Madelyn. I know you will feel a lot better when you see that your number is doubling. Try to hang in there. You have 18+ years of worrying about this baby ahead of you

Try to enjoy what you have right now.

babylove0511 · December 2010

i know how you feel but you had a GREAT beta. we are SO SO used to disappointment. you are pregnant hun, so be happy. i bet your beta will double up and in the meantime enjoy the fact that there is a LO in there and you should relax. stress is not good for you or the LO. yay for being PG, now go relax and be good to yourself!!!!! ((HUGS))

DeputiesWife · December 2010

I agree with the previous posters...you have got to stop worrying. Symptoms do come and go. Some expierence a lot, some none at all.

Hold on to hope. Be positive.

Tomorrows beta will be perfect.

UOduckBride2be · December 2010

Your body has been through a lot and there is no question that the meds and the fact that you are PREGNANT right now, (YAY!), is wreaking havoc on your emotions. Allow yourself to blame any of your negative feelings on your raging hormones and put it aside. There's nothing you can do at this point except to be good to yourself and have a little faith. Take care and good luck to you!

patchen30 · December 2010

I know exactly how you feel - I did this to myself when I was pg. I would notice my bbs weren't sore one day or my nips were lighter in color or I wasn't cramping or I was cramping and I would FREAK out. But, my symptoms always came back (I had a missed m/c which means that although the baby stopped growing my body didn't know it and I still had pg symptoms). So just remember, pg symptoms COME AND GO. They're not always the same at every second of the day. It doesn't mean anything.

At this point, you have to try and stay as calm as possible. Trust me, I know how terrifying it is. I thought once I got a BFP that would be the end of my worries - now I know it isn't true! But unless you have a reason to worry - which you don't at this point - try and enjoy yourself.

((Hugs))

cbubbles2 · December 2010

Oh sweetie I think you need to just let yourself be happy. I know every beta is scary but you have to believe you will get good news tomorrow! Thinking of you hun.

LCS040209 · December 2010

madelyn07:
Ok, I'm going to sound harsh and mean and that is not my intent.
You have to stop this. You have no real reason to worry.
I understand your beta isn't the number you were *hoping* for but that doesn't mean anything. It isn't low. It hasn't not doubled. Pregnancy symptoms come and go. You can't keep doing this to yourself until you have a real reason to worry.
I understand it is scary and tough and all that. I've been in beta hell and I've lost a baby. I know how awful it all can be. But I firmly believe that until we have a REAL reason to worry, we have to accept things for what they are, be happy for where we are and what we have and try our best to not stress about the "what ifs". I'll never condone someone telling a person TTC to "relax and stop stressing and it will happen" but I do think that little mantra is applicable once pregnant...try to relax and try not to stress. Getting worked up, worried and stress wouldn't do any good.
Hang in there sweetie...we are all pulling for you!

Couldn't agree more. TRY to live in the moment of this pregnancy. We cannot predict what is going to happen, but hoping for the best is all you can do.

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