We're up north in NH, enjoying a blizzard, and visiting with my family for the holidays. We had a big Christmas Eve thing with my dad's side of the family -- my 3 brothers/their girlfriends and my three step sisters and their kids. Zach did OK, but got overwhelmed by the chaos at times. He retreated to a chair he deemed his own, and just chilled when he needed to. I was near tears, though, when everyone kept asking him questions about the Hello Kitty watch he was wearing, what Santa brought him, etc., and he just couldn't answer. My older brother tried really hard to play with him, and Zach wanted nothing to do with him. And then my younger brother picked him up to help him navigate over a pile of presents, and he screamed like he was being burned. Ugh. Just tough to watch him in comparison with the other kids.
But then last night we had dinner with some friends -- I've known the wife since 4th grade and the husband since 9th. They have a daughter with spina bifida and some related issues, and it was just such a nice experience. Zach laying by the door to get acclimated to their house didn't phase them in the slightest -- nor did anything else he did. It's just nice sometimes to be around people who "get it", even if their "it" is different than ours.
Re: The good and bad of holidays...
I'm sorry some of that was rough.
Luckily for my sanity, the only other kid close to my C's age at the holidays is his brother (they're 21 months apart) so I don't worry too much about comparisons.
C did get very overwhelmed during the gift opening time and just retreated to my lap or to the other room when he needed to. In fact, he didn't want to open any gifts but luckily my family is really understanding and they didn't push it at all. We ended up opening them for him later on in the day and he loved it. I told my Mom we shouldn't have bother wrapping his gifts, just set them out under the tree.
Posts on cloth trainers/PLing
Big hugs! That had to be incredibly hard for you. Thank goodness for the "oasis" you found at your friends' house in the midst of all the stress.