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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Going back to work... To go or not to go???
SAHMs and Working Moms, can you help me out? Those who stayed home, how did you come to that decision and those that went back how did you cope? If you could do it again, would you do the same or different?
So depressed... Now that the holidays are over, reality has set in that I have to go back to work in a few more weeks. I don't remember being this sad when I had to go back before... maybe because LO is the last one... maybe because she's a girl and super sweet and snuggly...
My company is in the middle of a merger right now and I'm secretly hoping that they offer me a buyout so I can be a SAHM. I've thought about resigning, but walking away from a six figure salary as a young female in a male dominated industry is something I don't think I could do. I will never get a second chance at that, and with the economy the way it is, I think I would be crazy to... but the long hours and high level of stress are not really enticing me to go back so much... and I will never get a second chance at raising our daughter either.
Plus, it's just been soooo nice to be home with the baby and able to participate in school activities with our boys. I love being able to FEEL LIKE a mom and do the things SAHMs get to do.
AGH!
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Re: Going back to work... To go or not to go???
Basically I went for the best of both worlds. I went back part time. I'm still a SAHM 5 days a week and I work on the weekends. But I am looking for a full time position. And if I'm offered one I'm going to take it. I'm not built to be a SAHM.
I can't blame you for wanting to stay home especially with 4 kids now. But I agree when you say walking away from 6 figures in a male dominated world would be a career killer for you. I guess you really need to weigh out what you really want. If you don't need the money maybe you could just take off a few extra months. It's really about what you want.
Sorry. That probably wasn't helpful at all.
What do you think your children would choose?
That's a good question too.
My advice is to flip a coin. I know it sounds dumb, but if you do it and will live by the decision it will work. Once you flip it, you will either be relieved or upset about the outcome. That is your decision...Go with your gut.
Also, some random advice I got from someone I knew. Small kids, small problems; big kids, big problems. She had a fantastic corporate job and worked when her kids where little and quit when they became teenagers. Not the norm, but it makes sense.
Ha! It would depend on which one you asked!
The teenager would much rather I be out of his hair but the two younger boys like that I'm around. They've LOVED that I'm able to meet them for lunch at school and do classroom activities with them... the baby, well she can't talk yet so I'll speak for her and say she'd rather snuggle with me and my boob than have to have a bottle 
But seriously, if I'd tell the boys it would mean no more trips to Mexico or the Bahamas every spring break, and not as many name brand school clothes they sadly would probably take the trips and the clothes and other things that come with me working.
I wish part time was an option like the PP said, but it's not. It's 60 hours/week with an hour commute each way each day or nothing. : (
Monetarily, I had to go back, but I would have chosen to anyway. I LOVE my job and my dad and MIL are splitting time watching DD.
It is my personality that I need "big-girl time" and I have really enjoyed being back at work (I'm on my third week).
What does your husband say? If the only reason you are going back to work is because of money, I think you should really consider staying home. Like you said, you only get to raise your little girl once.
But if you really love your job and it is guilt-induced, I would say go back and see how you like it before making the big decision.
I always thought Id want to be a SAHM, and if we could afford it financially I might still want that, but we can't afford it, so I went back to work.
I'm shocked at how well it has gone-I really enjoy my time with DS more now that Ive gone back to work. If you arent sure I say go back-you can always quit later.
Unfortunately, this is a very difficult situation most women are faced with today, especially in our economy!!
I honestly don't know what to tell you. You have a big family and they would definitely benefit from having you at home, especially that each child has their own needs, and those needs usually require a mom! As we all know, work usually follows you home as well, so you might not have as much time for your kids as you thought you might have, especially with a baby!
I have to go to student teaching in February, and I'm just heartbroken and depressed about leaving my LO, even if it is with my mother, because I feel like I'll be missing so much. That's my main concern, that I'll be missing him growing up! Everyday they change, everyday is something new. Yesterday he wasn't laughing, today he is (for example), and I just hate that I'll miss the first time he sits up, grabs toys, etc etc etc. Thankfully I'll be done in June, but that's 3 months of development I'll be missing!
It's a tough decision to make, and it seems like women are faced with most difficulties in this life. Good luck!
(I personally don't know if I would be able to leave a big family to work, maybe when they're all older and independent, but not now, not in the prime of their childhood, and development)
I went through the same thing about two weeks before I went to work. Now that I am back I miss my daughter while I am there, but I enjoy the little break from being a mom. It sounds like you are on the fence, so I would go back to work. You always could quit or hope for the buyout to happen if you don't like it, but I doubt they would hire you back if you quit and then changed your mind.