Angry about how seeking help went (long)
rainydayluck
member
Today I went to my OB to get help and see if I was suffering from PPD. I went in and saw a NP first. She asked if I had thoughts of hurting my baby, I said no, she asked if I thought about hurting myself and I gave a vague answer. At some point I said I thought sometimes my family would be better off without me. She brought my OB in and they wanted to hospitalize me.
I got angry and hysterical because I didn't want to go to the hospital and they didn't bother asking any follow up questions (to give me the chance to say that it related to me running away). They finally agreed to call my husband and send me to another place to talk to someone who would make the determination of whether or not I needed to be hospitalized.
The other place said I didn't sound like I needed to be hospitalized, but that they do not write prescriptions for medications so they gave me a list of people to call tomorrow to set up an appointment.
I am upset that I got up the courage to seek help and now I am embarrassed and have nothing to show for it. I pretty much have to get up the nerve to go through this again to see another person to get the help I need. I am also hurt by my OB. I really really like her and now I am angry and hurt with how quickly they jumped on wanting to send me to the hospital. I kind of feel like I lost a lot of trust for her.
I guess I want to vent, but if anyone has advice, I'd appreciate it.
Re: Angry about how seeking help went (long)
I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I had difficulty getting help - no one wanted to help me. My primary care said it wasn't their job, it was the duty of my OB. My OB said it wasn't post partum b/c it was more than 6 weeks. I started screaming and crying on the phone saying someone needed to help me.
Anyways, please! Continue to seek help. It takes a lot of courage - but life can get so much better. I didn't like the way either office handled things, and have ended up switching both providers. I'm really happy with my new primary care! Still haven't found a new OB I'm happy with, but. . .
I'm glad that you stood up for yourself and realized that you didn't need to be hospitalized. PPD is a serious medical condition, but not everyone requires hospitalization. Dr's need to listen to their patients - it is so difficult to ask for help. I know it took me weeks.
A good place to start if you don't want to start with a stranger would be your Primary Care. They might be able to get you in quick if you give them a little of the background. Just a thought. I wish you the best! Keep us updated! Good luck!!
Continue to seek help.
It is routine to be asked about infancide and self-harm. It's a harsh reality, but PPD can get to that point. My NP (and co-worker) asked the same questions, but in a way that wasn't insulting.
If you feel like PPD may be an issue for you, please keep looking for help.