Hate my ILs shower ideas.
chillyupnorth
member
Let me start by saying my ILs (as in, the whole extended family) have a very structured idea of how all things are done (everything from cooking a meal to planning a wedding), and it is IMPOSSIBLE to change their minds.
I am 99.9% sure that they will want to throw us a baby shower after baby is here, because that is what is always done (or, if you ask one of them, "Because baby showers are always done that way, and if you're not from here you wouldn't understand"). **rolls eyes** Drives me insane.
I don't want to sound like an ungrateful b!tch, but I think having a shower beforehand makes much more sense. I would rather get a monitor, diapers, boppy, crib sheets, butt cream, etc than a million outfits and blankets! Can I just come out and say that if they ask about a shower down the road? Should I mention it somehow?
Re: Hate my ILs shower ideas.
I don't really have any advice, but maybe your side of the family will have a shower for you, and they can do there's the more "normal" way.
I personally wouldn't feel comfortable telling my IL side of the family how I want my shower to be. However, I would have no problem approaching the subject with my side, because we are very open with each other.
DS#1- Born August 2011
It's great to have a shower where you get baby gear, but it's highly possible that you will be outfits and blankets no matter when the shower is.
Keep in mind that it is not anybody's responsibility but your own to buy the things your need for your baby.
Well first, you're barely pregnant. You're putting the cart before the horse. Get through your first trimester before you start worrying about these kinds of things.
And quite honestly, your post sounds petty and spoiled. In a lot of cultures, baby showers are not held until after the baby is born. Particularly in the Jewish culture, it is considered bad luck to have baby stuff in the house before the baby is born. You are running the risk of insulting your in-laws about something trivial. Not the way you need to start off with a new grandchild.
As previous posters have mentioned, it is your responsibility to provide for your child. No matter when the shower is held, you will get a million outfits and blankets. No one has to get you anything (and if you keep up this attitude I can't see why they'd WANT to get you anything).
In summary, a shower is a GIFT and your preemptive hissy fit about the kind of shower that they MIGHT throw you is misplaced and ungrateful. Let's chalk it up to first tri hormone swings.
You may not want to sound ungrateful but that's exactly how it's coming out. You are not entitled to a shower. It is something a family does to celebrate and it is a gift for the new family.
Get over it, buy your own stuff and be thankful you have inlaws willing to put up with this. I would love to have my IL's alive so that they could meet their first grandchild and drive me crazy with such horrible things like wanting to throw a shower after the baby is born based on their traditions.
All of this. Have you ever asked why they do certain things the way they do? Or did you just see it as them being rigid and stubborn because it wasn't the way YOU would do it.
Too late! You should APPRECIATE the fact that they're even offering to have one for you when you're only 6 weeks along.
Are you also writing "No outfits and blankets!" on your invitation? People are going to buy what they want to buy at baby showers for you regardless if it's before or after the little one arrives.
And maybe they prefer to throw baby showers after the baby is born in case something does go wrong. God forbid something happens to you or your baby. I have a lot of friends who attend baby showers before LO arrives will only buy a special gift for the mother, and then a present for the LO when it arrives.
Oh crap! They haven't even offered to throw one yet? So why are you even expecting it?
I kind of hope they agree to have the shower before baby arrives and you STILL get nothing but blankets and clothes.
Cheers!
OP - Please to be reading this:
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/46646963.aspx
HTHYWIAEWCMBBQ!
http://pandce.****/index.cgi#general
I just have to say: your little one is absolutely gorgeous!!
I've hosted several baby showers and a couple have been after the baby was born (mother's choice for whatever reason). If it is your in-laws tradition to have the shower after the baby is here then that is when they will have it (if they offer). You can have more than one shower (if others offer) so possibly your family can have one before the baby has arrived.
Tiny babies really don't need a lot. The hospital supplies you with a few things (diapers, paci, T-shirt, blanket, diaper cream, vaseline, wipes, bottles, formula, etc) and everything else you will use much more of then you would ever get from a shower anyway (more diapers, diaper cream, etc). What you have to have is a carseat to bring the baby home in. I would hope you would want to pick out your own "going home" outfit for the baby. Some babies sleep in bassinets, baskets, PNP's, cribs, a drawer, etc. for the first few weeks.
I agree with the other pps...you will get a lot of outfits even at a shower hosted before the birth of the baby. People love to buy cute newborn outfits.
I think you should just wait and see what happens if/when someone offers to host a shower for you. You might find out they will actually ask you when you want it!
I say be glad that they offered to do anything for you in the first place. Just because you are having a baby doesn't mean everyone has to buy what you want, or even throw you any type of shower.
If you off handedly object to their way of celebrating your baby, you are going to sound like an ungrateful snob.
Be grateful you're pregnant and healthy.
The end.
BFP#1 - 8/27/10 - D&C 10/27/10 @ 13 weeks to Trisomy 18
Missing our Angel Baby Gabriel
BFP#2 - 3/18/11 - CP 3/19/11 BFP#3 - 4/27/11 - Due 1/9/12