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I am freaking out

Amer19Amer19
in North Dakota Babies

I went to my RE today to check my fluid levels for OHSS. Ultrasound showed no more free fluid in my stomach, only in my pelvic region. The u/s lady said my lining is thick, which is a really good pregnancy sign. She also said everyone who has come in with OHSS to the clinic turn out pregnant. So, RE takes me off Lovenox (blood thinner shots that hurt like a mutha funker) and says I am improving and if I'm pregnant, the symptoms will come back. All good new, right?

Now I am freaking out because everything I have read about OHSS says it'll get worse if you're pregnant, better if you're not. So now I'm freaking out that I'm not pregnant. I know, it's early. I know, I'm being crazy, but disappointment smacked me upside the head yet again.

I have been through hell these past 18 months TTC. I just want it to be over and have a baby in my arms next year. I was so hopeful befrore today and now feel like I'm going to have an emotional breakdown. I don't know how I'll handle it if I'm not pregnant.  My husband's cousin announced yesterday that she is pregnant with her third . It took everything in me not to cry in fron of everyone. I can't handle the waiting anymore. I took a dollar store test just 15 minutes ago. I don't know why. It's not FMU and I drink so much damn Gatorade due to OHSS, I pee like every 10 minutes. But it was negative and all these emotions of seeing countless negative pregnancy tests came flooding back. I just want to cry but K will see me and I can't let him know I'm upset. I hate this. Eff you infertility!

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie DS: Born 2007 TTC #2- Diagnosed with secondary infertility, after 18 months and failed IUIs, we achieved success with IVF #1 DD: Born 2011
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Re: I am freaking out

  • Eleise96Eleise96
    I don't have much advice, other than to try and relax...I know it is not easy!  I'll send tons and tons of ::baby dust:: that you'll get your much-deserved BFP this time around.  HUGS! 
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  • MrsBlayneMrsBlayne member
    Calm down!  Stress is not good for you, your body, or your child(ren).  There is nothing you can do at this point, and peeing on sticks is only going to freak you out more.  Lock up the pee sticks, take some deep breaths, have a glass of wine if you think it will help (drink till its pink!), and focus on the first paragraph of your post.  I hope this is it for you!  Everything is going to be fine!
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  • Lisa7Lisa7 member

    imageMrsBlayne:
    Calm down!  Stress is not good for you, your body, or your child(ren).  There is nothing you can do at this point, and peeing on sticks is only going to freak you out more.  Lock up the pee sticks, take some deep breaths, have a glass of wine if you think it will help (drink till its pink!), and focus on the first paragraph of your post.  I hope this is it for you!  Everything is going to be fine!

    This exactly, plus I love the drink til it's pink. ;) Sending lots and lots of pregnancy vibes. I don't know all of the terms, when do you find out if you get a BFP?

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  • Mrs.N.H.Mrs.N.H. member
    ::Hugs:: everything will be fine, you'll see and you will get you baby(ies)...just try to relax for now...I know it's hard, but that it's not good for you. And again like the girls said, re-read that first paragraph. And stay away from the google search, that thing is evil!
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  • kingpepsisgirlkingpepsisgirl
    I'm rarely here and my words may not be welcomed, but I have been popping in an out lately to check in on you.  I never heard of this and googled myself.  Everything I read said that symptoms MAY continue or get worse if you are pregnant.  MAY...not WILL.  I can't say that I know what you are going through but I can say that I am sending you all the positive vibes I have for you.  Be kind to yourself.  Go get a mani/pedi...buy yourself something pretty...take some deep breaths and do whatever you can to help calm yourself.  Stress will only make things worse although I know it's easier said than done.  *big hugs*
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