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only somewhat SPR: weight

PrincessFiona9PrincessFiona9 member
in Single Parents
When I was 19, before I met DB, I lived with my BFF and we went to the gym all the time, and I was sooo much happier with myself. Not so much anymore. I gained 30 lbs during my pregnancy, and although I lost most of it since then I hate my body the way it is now. Anyway, I cannot stop thinking about how DB said to me "I will be able to replace you before you will ever replace me." I so badly want to prove him wrong. But there's a part of me that thinks "Why can't anyone accept me for the way I am?" I should be married by now with a husband who loves me and my body because it is the way it is due to carrying his child. Instead I now need to bust my ass to get hot so I can meet someone new and start this all over again. It's just one more reason why I hate him.
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Re: only somewhat SPR: weight

  • mindurnannersmindurnanners member
    I completely understand how you feel! I bet you look amazing! I think after being pregnant it's soo hard to look at ourselves the same way.
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  • Cam1027Cam1027 member

    Ugh!! I could have written the exact same thing. I love my DS very much but I would love to see how many babies there would be if a guys body got effed the way ours do!

    I just hope someday I feel like me again....maybe julianne michaels will help me with that!!

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  • PrincessFiona9PrincessFiona9 member
    Definitely true. I wear the same shirt size as before, but I had to go up a size in jeans. All that baby weight is still hangin around the midsection. Ugh, sometimes I'm disgusted with myself. It's been 15 months almost! lol
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  • DarthNBJenniDarthNBJenni
    My girls are over 2 and I'm still 10 pounds from where I want to be, lol. I WILL lose it soon.

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  • BostonGayGalBostonGayGal member

    There is a lot of unhealthy thinking in this post.  It sounds harsh, but it is an attempt at support.  I remember some of this thinking from when I was much younger ( I am an old fart now).

     

    "I should be married by now with a husband who loves me and my body because it is the way it is due to carrying his child."
     
    Who said you should be ever be married?  Life does not unfold the way we plan for it to when we were 12 years old.  There is no age or time when we are 'supposed' to be married. 
     
    Don't blame him for your body.  You carried your AND his child which changed your body.   
     
    "Instead I now need to bust my ass to get hot so I can meet someone new and start this all over again."
     
    No, you don't have to.  Your choice about whether you want to work out or not.  Your attitude has more to do with meeting someone than the size of your jeans.  And, WHY would you want to start the same thing all over again --- NO NO NO!  Take time to be single.  Do not repeat the same mistakes.  
     
    I hope for your sake you  stop putting effort into proving anyone wrong, except perhaps yourself.  He isn't worth it and you shouldn't allow him to have that control over you.  
     

     



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  • dimakedimake

    You know, I used to think the same way - even though I have lost most of the weight (about 50+ pounds) that I gained during the course of our ten-year relationship/marriage and look better than I did when I got pregnant with our first.  "How dare he leave me after what I put my body through for him?  How am I going to attract anyone with these stretch marks?"

    I recently slept with someone else for the first time - XH was the only guy I'd been with - and I actually apologized to the guy for my stomach...  He said "You've had two kids."  It's the truth.

    Anyone who is worth it is not going to be turned off by some stretch marks or a few extra pounds.  Bust your ass to get hot if you want - but do it for you.  Do it to build your own confidence.  

    And...  who cares if he "replaces" you before you replace him?  He's still a DB.  And girls who are willing to put up with their sh*t are a dime a dozen.

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  • achase123achase123

    Don't give HIM the power to still have control over your thoughts.  He's using a typical manipulation tactic: attempting to instill fear in you that you will not find someone new, and therefore will still think about him.  Don't let him.

    If you want to get in shape, do it for yourself. I'd be happy to send you a meal plan if you want to eat healthier, and I can give you exercise tips as well.  The 30 DS is wonderful and I do it all the time.  It's quick, easy, and it incorporates strength and cardio.  PM me with your email addy if you want me to send you any info.

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  • fauxshelleyfauxshelley member
    imageBostonGayGal:

    There is a lot of unhealthy thinking in this post.  It sounds harsh, but it is an attempt at support.  I remember some of this thinking from when I was much younger ( I am an old fart now).

    "I should be married by now with a husband who loves me and my body because it is the way it is due to carrying his child."
    Who said you should be ever be married?  Life does not unfold the way we plan for it to when we were 12 years old.  There is no age or time when we are 'supposed' to be married. 
    Don't blame him for your body.  You carried your AND his child which changed your body.   
    "Instead I now need to bust my ass to get hot so I can meet someone new and start this all over again."
    No, you don't have to.  Your choice about whether you want to work out or not.  Your attitude has more to do with meeting someone than the size of your jeans.  And, WHY would you want to start the same thing all over again --- NO NO NO!  Take time to be single.  Do not repeat the same mistakes.  
    I hope for your sake you  stop putting effort into proving anyone wrong, except perhaps yourself.  He isn't worth it and you shouldn't allow him to have that control over you.  

    All of this!  I PPH you BGG!  <3

     

     

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  • fauxshelleyfauxshelley member

    I have no idea why the bump is being lame and not showing my comments... Confused

    I said, "I totally agree with this and I PPH you BGG!  <3"

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  • PrincessFiona9PrincessFiona9 member

    To clarify, DB and I were supposed to get married on July 10...already had everything planned, bought a dress, rented tuxes, booked a church etc. That is what I meant by "supposed to be married by now." But yeah, I know you're right BGG. I agree 100%. That doesn't stop me from feeling that way sometimes though.

    Achase--I bought the 30 DS DVD a few weeks ago and have yet gained the motivation to try it lol. I try to read up on diet plans etc but everything it tells me to eat is disgusting haha I'm so picky! You can email me the info on facebook though and I'll take a look at it. I'd love any kind of help I can get :)

    p.s. what does PPH mean?

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  • dimakedimake

    I think pink puffy heart?

     

    I need to start doing my 30DS again...  maybe we need a SP 30DS challenge...

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  • Cam1027Cam1027 member
    imagedimake:

    I think pink puffy heart?

     

    I need to start doing my 30DS again...  maybe we need a SP 30DS challenge...

     

    I don't know how to quote so this is probably wrong but I totally agree we should do a 30 DS challenge!!

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  • PrincessFiona9PrincessFiona9 member
    LOL let's do itttt. Let's start on January 1.
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