Having a hard time with pregnant friends...

Re: Having a hard time with pregnant friends...

• inlove731

  December 2010

  You are not a horrible person.  I think we all have felt this way or feel this way.  I do think most of us have felt that guilt for not being truly happy or excited for friends, but it is normal.  I hope things get easier for you.  This is the place to vent about that kind of stuff! 

  Stopped BCPs December 2008 TTC since June 2009 6 unsuccessful Clomid cycles Dx Annovulatory due to PCOS January 2010 DH-perfect 4 unsuccessful IUIs Began Lupron July 7 for first IVF IVF cancelled; overstimulation and coasting lead to huge drop in E2 New testing with an Endocrinologist...perhaps a new diagnosis... So, not PCOS but Hashimoto's Thyroiditis November 2010 After a looong break, started seeing a new RE. Gearing up for IVF 1.2. Beta 1=197!!

  Report0 Reply
• Loading the player...
• zookbride member

  December 2010

  I would say no, you are not a horrible person. Most of my friends are still single and not even dating, so luckily I won't be surprised by any of them soon. On the other hand I have a few cousins that are just popping out kids. Ugh!

  Friends of our just got engaged the day before Christmas Eve...so now I do kinda feel like I have to "rush" to get pg b/c I know they will be trying right away as they are both older. 

  Do they know you are having trouble? I know not everyone likes to talk about it with their IRL friends...but if you are o.k. with it, I'd tell them like it is and explain you are happy for them...but it is hard, and to please not share all the nitty gritty details. ((hugs))
  

  New to 3T? Check out this website first:
  TroubleTTC
  
  
  Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end --Semisonic
  
  **TTC since 04/09, C/P 02/02/10; 4 weeks, 3 days**
  **Dx: Anovulation, Hypothryroidism, Mild Endo, Pituitary Adenoma (prolactin issues), PAI-1, MFI **
  
  **7/10: Clomid + TI= BFN**
  **3/2/11: 1st RE appointment**
  **DH= Morph= 2%, Motility= 30%**
  **HSG= All clear!!**
  **3/11: Femara + Pregnyl + TI= BFN**
  **5/17/11: Laparoscopy / hysteroscopy = mild endo**
  **7/11: Novarel + IUI #1= BFN (7mil, 75% motility, 2% morph)**
  **8/11: Femara + Novarel + IUI #2= BFN (11mil, 35% motility, 1% morph)**
  **11/11: Femara + Novarel + IUI #3= BFN (9mil, 2% morph)**
  **Jan 2012: Follistim (75ius) + IUI #4= CANCELLED due to cyst -put on bcp**
  **Feb 2012: Follistim (75ius) + Novarel + IUI #4.2= BFFN (2.5mil, 13% motility, 1% morph)**
  **Mar 2012: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5= CANCELLED due to 35mm & 14mm cysts**
  **On med break indefinitely...IF Sucks!**

  
  

  **Jan 2013: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.2= CANCELLED due to high prolactin level, MRI scheduled, pituitary adenoma found, put on Dostinex**
  

  **Mar 2013: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.3= CANCELLED due to uterine polyp, surgery scheduled for polypectomy and D&C**
  

  **03/22/13: Hysteroscopy, polypectomy and D&C**
  

  **May 2013: Finally got to start a cycle!!! Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.4 = BFFN (6mil, 74% motility, 2% morph)** 
  

  
  

  **Jun 2013: Decide to start IVF**

  IVF w/ICSI #1 (Long Lupron Protocol)

  06/26/13: Start BCPs

  07/02/13: HSG #2= all clear

  07/15/13: Start Lupron 10 ius

  07/25/13: Suppression check

  07/28/13: Start stims (225IUs Follistim + 75IUs Menopur) drop to 5 IUs Lupron

  08/01/13: Monitoring: 12 follicles all about 10mm, E2- 313

  08/04/13: Monitoring: 18 follicles (15mm, 13mm, a few 11mm, rest 10mm or below) E2- 1,505

  Start Augmentin- antibiotic prep

  08/06/13: Monitoring: 13 follicles (18mm, 17mm, rest b/w 15mm-16mm!) Ready to trigger!! E2- 2,248

  08/08/13: ER-- 14R, 13M, 10F 

  08/11/13: One fertilized late, we now have 11 embryos!

  08/13/13: 5dt-- 2 blasts (Sheldon and Penny) 3AA and 3BB, none to freeze

  8/23/13: BFFN... Sheldon and Penny didn't stick**

  
  

  **8/29/13: Follow up... bad fragmentation issues. Changing protocol to Antagonist for round #2 coming soon! Also started on 81mg Aspirin after getting blood panel done and found out I have PAI-1**

  
  

  **Oct 2013: After large cysts, finally starting IVF #2**

  IVF w/ICSI #2 (Antagonist Protocol)

  BCPs started back in Sept due to cysts

  10/27/13: Start stims (225 IUs Gonal-F + 75 IUs Menopur)

  11/03/13 - 11/05/13: Add Ganirelix to the mix

  11/06/13: 3 follicles at 18mm-- Ready to trigger!

  11/08/13: ER-- 17R, 13M, 8F

  11/13/13: 5dt-- 2 blasts (Luke and Leia) 5AB and 4AB, 1 frostie

  11/20/13- 11/23/13: light positives on FRERs and Wondofos

  11/22/13: BFN per RE office (under HCG of 10)

  11/27/13: CP ::sigh::

  
  

  *12/03/13: Follow up...great response and quality this time, was given 50% chance of it working, just didn't stick. Great plan for 2014! 

  
  

  **Jan 2014: Last IVF of our SRP**

  IVF w/ICSI, freeze all, then FET

  12/27/13: Start BCPs

  01/19/14: Stims (375 IUs Gonal-F + 75 IUs Menopur)

  
  Congratulations Cutebride!! --TWINS!! Congratulations, Luvie, on your sweet boy! Congrats, Jess! So happy for you ladies!  
  ~~Also best of luck to Kati, illinigal, and youngin!~~
  
  

  *S/PAIFW*

  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• gervaisj6

  December 2010

  nope- you are not a horrible person...

  ttc since 10-09 first visit with RE 09-10 ME-everything ok DH- AZOOSPERMIA...biopsy confirmed Sertoli Only Cell syndrome Donor IUI#4 was the charm (8-27-11) with 125iuFollistim/Ovidrel/Endometrin/PIO/vit D beta #1 9/8/11....BFP!!! : ) @ 47.7 beta...#2 9/15/11... 1,998 beta#3 9/22/2011- 27,900 Baby's hb seen @6w2d ! 1-3-2012 20 wk u/s everything lookin' good!

  Report0 Reply
• Megg327

  December 2010

  StarLightStar22:

  Does anyone else have a hard time with friends that are pregnant? I feel like such a horrible person but I just have no patience for them. Worse... I have absolutely NO patience for ones that get pregnant after trying for like one cycle. I have three friends now that are pregnant and they all drive me nuts. I know they are all excited but seriously.. be sensitive. I really have tried my best to be happy and supportive for them but I really dont need to know every detail of whats going on and seriously... I am the worst person to complain to about your symptoms. I would love to be throwing up right next to you for the same reason. Especially being almost braggy about how "perfect" everything this is going for them and how they got the perfect christmas presents... Am I a horrible person? Sorry for the vent...

  You are not a horrible person! I know exactly how you feel...I think it is just part of the grieving process. DH doesn't seem to understand why 3 months later it still effects me, but I still feel that way. I hope it gets easier for you.

  

  Report0 Reply
• DeputiesWife

  December 2010

  You arent horrible. I feel the same way.

  ::hugs::

   

   

  TTC #2 since June '08
  

  ~*DD 10.21.07*~

  dx unexplained
  

  IUI #1-4 BFN
  

  IVF#1 June 2011 BFN
  

  IVF#2 Dec 2011
  

  Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634
  

  EDD 8/25

  *PAIFW/SAIFW*
  

  Report0 Reply
• Lisa07 member

  December 2010

  You are not a horrible person. IF is incredibly hard and we all have good days and bad days. My doctor told me that feeling resentment or weirdness toward pregnant women is normal for IF patients and that we need to realize that these women are not pregnant with babies that would have otherwise ended up in us. Just keep trying to be supportive of your friends because you are going to want them to be supportive of you when its your turn. On those days when you just can't be around them, don't be. Take that day and do something nice for yourself.. mani/pedi, massage, lay in bed and eat ice cream, etc.
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• jamielynnohio member

  December 2010

  You're not a horrible person! I think every single one of us ladies at one point or another could have personally written this post. It's totally normal. Hang in there, we understand!

  Married '02, TTC May '05

  Dx -Ute cancer, DOR from cancer treatments, and embryo quality issues. NOV 2010 CANCER FREE
  2005-2011= 3 Rounds of Clomid, 5 IUI's, 3 IVF's- ALL BFN's
  After 7yrs TTC, 5yrs of ute cancer, and 11 failed IF treatments, we got a surprise BFP! So thankful!

  Gemma Grace born 09/30/12

  Phillipians 4:6,7

  Report0 Reply
• StarLightStar22 member

  December 2010

  Thanks ladies! Its nice to know I am not alone in feeling this way!

  

  

  Report0 Reply
• jaminjeff member

  December 2010

  Not at all.  I've been trying 2 1/2 years and my BFF has been trying almost 1 1/2 years.  This is her first round of Clomid with an RE and she got a BFP for Christmas.  I on the otherhand got a BFN.  I cried when she let me know.  I'm happy for her, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt that I can't do the same thing as her.

   TTC #1 since June 2008

  M/C @ 6 weeks 12/31/2008, Ectopic @ 6 weeks on 4/23/2010

  Diagnosed Unexplained 11/2009-DH is fine-I don't get AF

  Blog
  

  Chart
  

  Cycle #22 - 1/27/11 - IUI #1 & Injections - BFP! - DS born 11/11/11 

  TTC#2 - 2/24/14 - IUI & Injections - BFP! - EDD 11/29/14
  

  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• meganroselee member

  December 2010

  You're not a horrible person. I have two friends that I can't seem to bring myself to talk with and spend time with like I used to.  I feel selfish but I can't muster the energy to feel happy for them for a consistent period of time so I just avoid them. The complaining to you has to be the height of ridiculousness. So inconsiderate!

  33 yo, DH with MFI Iui x4, Dec 2009 to Jan2011 all BFN.... IVF May 2011 BFP, mc June 2011 at 6.5 weeks, FET Oct 2011 BFP! Sweet baby girl born 25 June 2012** started adoption process Feb 2010, approved Oct 2010, failed match in delivery rooms Feb & Aug 2011... Birthmom called back 3d after we returned home. Aug 26 2011, our sweet baby boy comes home for good!!

  Report0 Reply
• AlyEric member

  December 2010

  It doesn't make you horrible. It's comforting to know that I am not the only that feels that way too. I have 4 friends that got pregnant after trying for one month.  One friend actually said "Here I am with two kids that I didn't even really try to have and you are trying SO hard and you don't have any yet." 

  It will happen one day for us

  Report0 Reply
• missjul61 member

  December 2010

  I struggle with the same thing.  It's hard to be around pregnant friends sometimes w/out feeling sad for myself.  Hang in there. 

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

  Report0 Reply
• lilredj member

  December 2010

  you are not horrible.  we all have our own feelings about it!!  I actually threw my phone at DH once... b/c friends announced pg #2 days after celebrating #1 1st birthday... by text message with her showing her belly saying can the world handle another one?  It has been difficult, but you handle it one day at a time!  Know that you are not alone!

  Jennifer TTC #1 Dx PCOS 2009 Apr, Aug, and Sept tried clomid cycles.... BFN. Oct...DH SA results were normal. Me...HSG - left tube was clear, right tube was slightly blocked. Dec - Clomid #4 200mg Feb 2010 - IUI #1 200mg Clomid = BFN. June 2010 - IUI #2 200mg Clomid = BFN. March 2011 - IUI #3 w/ injectables = BFN (1st & last with RE, moving on to IVF). July 2011 - consult for IVF. Sept 2011, 1st IVF. Got our BFP on 10/2/11. Became a mom on 5/5/12 to a beautiful baby boy!

  Report0 Reply
• zdinakwardwedding member

  December 2010

  You are not being a horrible person at all.  It hurts and I have been in your shoes actually just recently.  (Big hugs) The worst is when they know what your going through.  I'm sorry you are dealing with this.  Hang in there. 

  ,
  My little gummy bear
  
  10/09-started our journey 3/14/10- Dx anovulatory 12/29 IUI #3 BFP beta 1-25, 2-60, 3-2064. u/s 1 beautiful baby 9/22 Baby girl born 6 lb 14 oz perfect !!!!
  
  

  Report0 Reply